Morticia Frump Addams: I'm concerned about the children.
Gomez Addams: I know, but every silver lining has its cloud.
Uncle Fester Frump: [coming in out of the sun] Gomez! Is it really you?
Gomez Addams: Maybe not. I haven't been myself, lately.
Gomez Addams: Querida, you're always at your best in a crisis.
Morticia Frump Addams: And you're so inspiring.
Gomez Addams: That's what they said about old Ebenezer Addams.
Morticia Frump Addams: When he led the early settlers across the great plains?
Gomez Addams: When he sold the first guns to the Indians.
Morticia Frump Addams: He really WAS a pioneer.
Wednesday Addams: My guillotine's busted.
Inez Thudd: "Broken," not "busted."
Pugsley Addams: Well, either way, we can't make it work.
Inez Thudd: You must think positively. Keep repeating firmly to yourself, "My guillotine WILL work. My guillotine WILL work. My guillotine WILL WORK."
Motel Proprietor: You're the first customers we've had here since you were last here two years ago.
Morticia Frump Addams: Gomez, darling, look!
[Morticia picks up a mildewed jeweled hair comb]
Gomez Addams: So THAT"S where you left it.
Motel Proprietor: I'm coming to think there's somthin' wrong with this place. Eh, maybe the location?
Gomez Addams: Nonsense! The location's ideal. Why, the vinegar works are over there; glue factory's right behind ya.
Motel Proprietor: Oh, one other little thing - eh, watch out for the badger trap under the bed.
Morticia Frump Addams: What a DIVINE touch!
[Hurricane Zsa-Zsa blows into the Addams' neighborhood and everyone runs outside to greet it except for Gomez and Morticia]
Gomez Addams: You and I can go up to the attic.
Morticia Frump Addams: The attic?
Gomez Addams: I know how sentimental you are about the Last Chance Motel. I tore a big hole in the roof.
Morticia Frump Addams: Darling.