The Addams Family (TV Series)
Lurch's Grand Romance (1966)
Jackie Coogan: Uncle Fester
Photos
Quotes
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Uncle Fester : We thought you were getting married.
Trivia : Oh, I was on the verge but I just couldn't go through with it.
Morticia Addams : Why not?
Trivia : He never asked me.
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Uncle Fester : [as Trivia exits singing] With a voice like that she should get life.
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[the family decides to make over Lurch]
Uncle Fester : And after a couple hours with me, why he'll know all there is to know about women.
Gomez Addams : Whadda you know about women, Fester?
Uncle Fester : [a little affronted] Well, I had a mother, didn't I?
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Morticia Addams : Oh, dear, I can't believe it. My best friend, a husband stealer.
Uncle Fester : Oh, she could get in trouble doing that. That's petty larceny.
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Uncle Fester : Well, if anyone can do it, it's Mama. She's a real Femme Fatale. I spoke French. Bye!
[turns and leaves as quick as he can]
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Uncle Fester : Lurch, how do you feel about gas?
Lurch : Gives me heartburn.