Holden Van Dorn: Mr. Scrotum.
Peter Dragon: Scroad.
Holden Van Dorn: Scrote, it is an honor to meet you. I want you to know that your movie 'Bone Field' changed my life, man. And I've been waiting 15 years for your next movie, where've ya been, man?
Titus Scroad: I've been to hell and back, son. For the past 12 years I've been on a downward spiral of drug and alcohol addiction that didn't stop untill I found myself in Mexico, making mad passionate love with Glen Close.
Peter Dragon: Hey, that doesn't sound too bad there, partner.
Titus Scroad: Well, yeah, but unfortunately it was a Mr. Glen Close, who was an antique refinisher in Orange County.
Peter Dragon: I'll tell you what, why don't we go across the lot and I'll show you the tank where Leonardo DiCaprio drowned.
Georgia Dragon: I don't understand why he just didn't hold on to the fat girl.
Peter Dragon: You're so cute.
Uncle Lonnie: How's your mother?
Hot Dog Vendor: We lost her three weeks ago, Lonnie. Doctor said it was, eh...
Georgia Dragon: [interrupting] Excuse me, this has sour crout. I distinctly said no sour crout. Do you have a hearing problem, or is it some kind of age related short term memory thingie?
Peter Dragon: Alright, What's the first rule of producing?
Georgia Dragon: Never invest you're own money. There's plenty of suckers out there.
Peter Dragon: What's the second?
Georgia Dragon: No pirate movies.
Peter Dragon: Third?
Georgia Dragon: Ehm...
Uncle Lonnie: Explosions, boobs, explosions. It used to be boobs, explosions, boobs, but women have advanced a long way.
Peter Dragon: [to his daughter] Oh, hey, you wanna see a movie, it's directed by some chinaman, it's a, it's good, I don't know, what's the title of it?
Wendy Ward: Pussycat lips, pussycat whips, bang bang pussycat, pussycat dies.
Georgia Dragon: Is it P.G.?
Wendy Ward: I don't think so.