Patsy is angry when Eddy refuses to go away with her for Christmas, preferring to stay at home with the family and ordering a tree so large Patsy gets her hair caught in it. Patsy collapses... See full summary »



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Episode cast overview, first billed only:
June Whitfield ...
Alex Lowe ...
Felix Dexter ...
Marshall (as Chris Ryan)


Patsy is angry when Eddy refuses to go away with her for Christmas, preferring to stay at home with the family and ordering a tree so large Patsy gets her hair caught in it. Patsy collapses - due to an unseen hand sticking a pin in an effigy of her - and is rushed to hospital, where at least she can spend Christmas on drugs. Eddy welcomes both her ex-husbands, Justin being quizzed on his sexuality by John and Bo and Marshall promoting their slimming product, and a family Christmas is indeed the order of the day - until the hospital informs Eddy that 'Miss Stone has died'. Thus we discover the identity of her ill-wisher, though Patsy herself recovers, only to choke on a piece of turkey back at Eddy's house. Written by don @ minifie-1

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Release Date:

24 December 2003 (UK)  »

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Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
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Did You Know?


In the hospital, Jackie mentions the party she and Patsy had after their mother died. However, in "Happy New Year" from Season 3, Patsy had to inform Jackie that she, Patsy, was the only family member who attended the funeral because they had not seen each other in over 20 years. See more »


Edina: And for lunch, sweetheart, for Christmas lunch, who comes to that?
Saffron: Well, there's me and John...
Patsy: Is he from Gabon?
Edina: What?
Patsy: Is he from Gabon?
Edina: Gabon?
Patsy: Yes, is he from Gabon?
Edina: Why are you saying that...
Patsy: Gabon.
Edina: Will you stop saying that!
See more »


Silent Night
Written by Franz Gruber and Joseph Mohr
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User Reviews

Probably my favorite episode from the fifth season
18 April 2007 | by (Lancaster, Pennsylvania) – See all my reviews

"Cold Turkey" (listed on the BBC's "Absolutely Fabulous" site under the title, "Drinkin'") is probably my favorite episode from the fifth series. This is a Christmas special episode, and Edina has decided to spend the holiday at home with her family. Edina is disappointed with Saffy's regular, plastic Christmas tree, and she wants her first Christmas at home to be a grand affair. She imports a giant Christmas tree from Scandinavia, but Saffy is enraged when she sees it. Patsy somehow got caught in the tree when it was brought into the house. Bubble returns from her Christmas shopping assignments at Tiffany's, Gucci, and Prada, and reports things aren't as glamorous as they used to be. Edina and Patsy join Saffy and Mrs. M. in the kitchen. Mrs. M. is making a poinsettia centerpiece, and Saffy is preparing the Christmas lunch. Edina's way of helping out is to eat raw sausage, and burst out into Christmas carols. Saffy is worried Edina will go overboard, and she explains how they conduct their traditional Christmas. Patsy continues to look through a travel magazine, and she's under the impression that she and Edina will be going away for Christmas. Patsy eventually learns Edina is backing out of their usual holiday getaway. She reacts violently by headbutting Edina, which knocks Edina to the floor! Edina goes to talk to Patsy, and Patsy exclaims she really hates Christmas. Eleanor Bron returns as Patsy's mother in a flashback. Patsy's bitter mother refuses her Christmas gift in the flashback, and screams for Patsy to keep Christmas out of their lives. She tells Edina she'll go on the trip by herself, but she's suddenly overcome with pain and collapses to the floor. Unbeknownst to her, the pain was caused by someone jabbing a pin into a voodoo doll. Edina thinks it's Patsy's way of getting attention, so Edina ignores Patsy after she falls to the floor. Edina then prevents Mrs. M. from decorating the tree, and she makes Bubble climb a ladder to place the star on top. John examines Patsy, and Saffy tells Edina that Patsy must go to the hospital. An ambulance rushes them to the hospital. The doctor (Simon Brodkin) tells Edina that Patsy is extremely ill, and he asks who Patsy's next of kin is. Edina mentions Patsy's sister, Jackie (Kate O'Mara appeared as Patsy's sister in "Happy New Year.") Edina goes home to wrap gifts with Bubble. Fleur and Catriona visit Patsy in the hospital, and we see another pin jabbed into the voodoo doll while they're there. Patsy flatlines but is brought back with electric shock. Justin arrives at the house, and John begins to ask him some very personal questions. Bo and Marshall arrive next, and talk about their Christian-based, weight loss product called Staylene. Everyone enjoys a Christmas Eve toast until Marshall has an accident in his pants. Patsy's sister shows up at the hospital. Jackie poses as a loving sister, but her real intention is to get everything signed over to her in Patsy's will. She's also there to kill Patsy with a heroin overdose! Edina and Saffy go to the hospital on Christmas Day, but they are informed that Miss Stone has died. They go in the room and see a body covered by a sheet. Patsy baffles them when she emerges from the bathroom. She's alive and well, and ready to leave the hospital. She removes the sheet to reveal the "Miss Stone" that died was actually Jackie. It seems she had gotten the upper hand when Jackie was going to inject her with the fatal dose of heroin. Patsy is now overjoyed with Christmas spirit, and the day continues with the exchanging of gifts. Christmas lunch is attended by Edina, Patsy, John, Saffy, Justin, Mrs. M., Bubble, and Bo and Marshall (we assume baby Jane is around somewhere!) The gleeful holiday lunch is interrupted when Patsy chokes on a slice of turkey!

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