- ALF: And I can't ask Willie about it or he'll skip town... leaving me with Kate, a woman scorned... Well, at least there'd be no personality change.
- Kate Tanner: I cannot talk to you now. I am too mad!
- ALF: Is that 24-hour mad or dissect-the-alien mad?
- Kate Tanner: If you wake up, you'll know.
- FBI #1: [African-American, looking at a roomful of Willie Tanner lookalikes] Well, you guys all look alike to me.