- Ed McMahon: I understand you brought some clips. Would you like to set them up?
- ALF: I'd love to. See, in my show, I play an alien life form. It's a real stretch for me.
- ALF: Thank you, and while you're gone, I'll show some clips of just how versatile a performer I am. You folks, watch the monitors.
- Ed McMahon: What about the Pope?
- ALF: He can watch, too. Roll the tape.
- ALF: Hey, Joan, relax. I haven't eaten a single cat since I've been here. They've all been married! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ah! Ah!