- Willie Tanner: ALF, this is a Thompson people log. It measures what we watch on TV.
- ALF: Great! Now I'll finally find out who's taller. Me or Michael J. Fox.
- Willie Tanner: Let me just try to understand, ALF.
- [sic]
- Willie Tanner: The operative word in People Log is "people"... one of which you are... not... one.
- ALF: That's cruel. Not to mention poorly constructed from a grammatical standpoint.