"Hannibal" Smith: [to Tawnia] We don't give autographs, honey. What's going on, Murdock?
Tawnia Baker: I got some very important information for you: Colonel Decker is after you.
"Faceman" Peck: Now there's a hot flash.
Col. Decker: Freeze, Smith!
Hannibal: I'm sorry, our store Santa Clause has gone for the day. You'll have to come back, if you want to tell him what you want for Christmas.
Col. Decker: My Christmas present is you, Smith.
Hannibal: You have expensive taste.
Col. Decker: All of ya, hands up.
Col. Decker: Miss Allen takes an overseas assignment, you don't waste any time replacing her, do ya?
"Hannibal" Smith: [to Decker] All right, you just hang in there, Colonel. Took us ten years to break Lynch's spirit.
[pats him on the shoulder]
"Hannibal" Smith: Arrivederci!
Tawnia Baker: You guys are a real trip!
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: We can be a real mean trip, too. You got a lot of explaining to do.
Tawnia Baker: I'm telling you, I am a reporter. I work for L.A. Career Express and I know Amy Allen very well.
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Which is very difficult for us to confirm on short notice, seeing that Amy's in Jakarta right now.
Tawnia: Amy was right: the word 'commitment' can ward Templeton Peck off faster than a can of mace.
Face: Ah, excuse me, eh, this set, this is the, eh, 'Monster from Camp Runnamuck' set, isn't it?
[checks the guys jacked which has the title on the back]
Face: Ah yeah, great. Listen, where's the guy who plays the monster? With the - never mind, I see him.
Tawnia Baker: Oh, Face, I almost died when you went out that window!
Face: [sarcastic] You almost died?
Hannibal: You couldn't fill this building with enough money to get me to pull you out of a burning wreck. But I would take you and this whole network of terrorism you've set up and flush you down the sewer, just to see the kind of sound you'd make.
"Faceman" Peck: Oh, don't mind me, I'll eh, I'll be under the bed.
B.A. Baracus: You call that a helicopter? Man, that thing can't make coleslaw!
Murdock: [taking off in a helicopter that's falling apart] Face, I thought you said this was a state of the art helicopter?
Face: Murdock, Hannibal said he wanted a chopper, I got you a chopper!
"Hannibal" Smith: [calling down 2 floors] Face, Murdock!
Murdock: [to Tawnia] This building is too weird. Buttons scream at you, stairs talk to you.
Face: [shouting upwards] Hannibal, where are you?
"Hannibal" Smith: Seventh floor, stay where you are!
Murdock: When he said dummy, was he talking to me?
Face: Who else?
Murdock: What do you mean who, who...
Ron Graham: [Face was thrown out a 10 story window and landed in a swimming pool] I was lucky there was a pool down there, you could've killed him!
Mr. Carson: I didn't know there was a pool down there.
Face: [after being thrown in a pool, checks his watch] Takes a licking, but eh, keeps on ticking.
Hannibal: You got any idea where they took her?
Face: Yeah, well, it was a little tough to hear. I was listening to the chlorine ruin my clothes.