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"The A-Team" Mexican Slayride (TV Episode 1983) Poster

(TV Series)

(1983)

Quotes

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Murdock and I will handle the film commission.

Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: Are we doing "Boots and Bikini's" again? Aw, I hate that movie.

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: We're gonna keep making it till we get it right.

José the Hotel Manager: Beunos dias, señor, are you checking in?

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: I'm with 20th Century Fox, we're with the movie company.

José the Hotel Manager: Eh, pardon me sir?

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: The Farrah Fawcet, Bo Derek, Loni Anderson movie?

José the Hotel Manager: The what?

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Of course you've been told about it?

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: Tip the joint over? Very macho, but is this smart?

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: If I was smart, I wouldn't be working for some skirt with no money.

Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus: You learn to love him, Mama. But it takes a long time.

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: That's the same thing he said about you.

Zack: These guys knocked over the bank of Hanoi, four days after the Vietnam war ended. They wandered out of the DMZ with one hundred million yen and got busted by the army. Nobody knew anything about the mission. They claimed that they were under order of a Colonel, ah... Morrison. But Morrison took a round on one of the last shellings, his headquarters burned to the ground, so no record of the mission was ever found. There was a big stink. And then, right before the trial, they went over the wall and pfft, disappeared. That was ten years ago.

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: Is this part of the plan?

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: No.

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: I didn't think so.

Jerry - the film director: The guy we had in Aquamania One stayed down four minutes.

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Then why isn't he doing it now?

Jerry - the film director: He had a little brain hemorrhage or something, I don't know.

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: Do you do this all the time?

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: We haven't done the movie company in six months.

Boy on Tour bus: Mommy, mommy, it's the Aquamaniac!

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: [Wearing the Aquamaniac costume] Hi, how ya doing?

Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus: I ain't stoppin' for no autographs Hannibal.

Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus: [about Hannibal] He loves the risk. The danger. He loves the jazz.

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: [referring to B.A] Is he nuts?

Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: No, I'm nuts, he's just an angry mudsucker.

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: [Col. Lynch is stuck in the water of the Ten Commandments exhibit] Nice try, Colonel. But you ain't Moses.

Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: The A-team? Go to the Alley behind the Kozy Cat Club, in Hollywood, at two a.m. And wait until you're contacted.

Colonel Flores: So, you are the man who's been causing señor Valdez so much trouble.

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Didn't take much to cause any trouble. He keeps tripping over his I.Q.

Army Col. Lynch: I'm gonna press him hard and see what happens. Now that won't snap him, will it?

Mental Hospital Charge Nurse: No, he's usually a lot of fun, however if he starts talking about ammonia, that's a clue he may become violent.

Army Col. Lynch: Violent?

Mental Hospital Charge Nurse: It hardly ever happens, but, eh, watch out. It's a trigger word for his aggressive cycle.

Army Col. Lynch: Ammonia?

Colonel Flores: You have a very irritating manner, señor.

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Yeah, I know, I've been working on my personality. Read the Don Rickles book and everything. Nothing seems to be helping.

Army Col. Lynch: Well, who are we today? Harold Lloyd? King Kong? Napoleon's parrot?

Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: I'm not nuts. I keep telling everybody. Don't you think I wanna get out of here and see E.T., just like everybody else?

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: I love this jazz.

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: What's your full name, kid?

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: Amy Amanda Allen.

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Tripple A, huh?

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: Sounds like someone who belongs on the unit called the A-Team...

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: [Disguised as Mr. Li] Law say no park here!

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: Please, don't yell at people!

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: [as Mr. Li] Yellow people? You don't like yellow people?

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: No, not yellow people. Yell at people. Don't yell at me, okay! I got a terrible headache.

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: [as Mr. Li] You look like it! You go!

Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus: [holding up a mirror as Hannibal puts on some make-up] Are you comming out of the closet, Hannibal?

Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus: What's going on here? This road leads directly to the airport, Hannibal!

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: This road is no where near the airport.

[a plane flies overhead]

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: [Referring to B.A] Why did he hit you?

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Hit me? If he hit me, I'd be in the hospital.

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Here we are, there they are. I love it when a plan comes together.

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: Excuse me, but what are you doing?

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: We're tying him up so he won't kill us if he comes to.

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: I see.

[pause]

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: Excuse me again, but isn't he one of you? I mean, isn't he on the team?

Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Yes.

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: So then why did you have to drug him?

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: He hates the pilot.

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: Hates the pilot? Why?

Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Because our pilot is insane.

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Now, if you wanted somebody with good manners, you should have hired an English butler.

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: What I don't understand is why you aren't all living in Switzerland, where it's safe?

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Because we're not Swiss. We're Americans. We got a little problem right now, but we'll work our way out of it somehow. In the mean time, we stick together and do what we do best.

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: I had to bring your uncle Deke into this.

Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: How is Uncle Deke?

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: You don't have an Uncle Deke.

Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: Oh that's too bad, I was just starting to like him.

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: No, you hate him. He used to beat you.

Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: That creep!

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Murdock, can you fly a Gulf Stream?

Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: If it's got wings, I can fly anything. Hey Faceman, what's a Gulf Stream?

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: The pilot's really insane?

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: We think so.

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: The gentle giant is starting to wake up, now how fast can you land us?

Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: [takes the plane down quickly] You just landed!

Malavida Valdez: Hey, Mr. Massey, how about you come out, before I set fire to this whole stinking town! We talk, Mr. Massey. You will see that I yam a poor country man. A lover of life. A hunter of rabbits. A singer of songs. We will talk. You come out, okay!

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Grant Eldridge: Allen, you need some time off. Now I'm suspending you at half pay for two weeks. You're a good reporter. But you gotta find some way to stop sitting on your brains.

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Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: I think we'll spray this guy's field. A crop duster. Get some poison to kill his marijuana crops. I love it when a mark's angry, they don't think straight. And it will bring 'em to us. Make 'em play on our field.

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Malavida Valdez: Hey muchacho, why you shoot on Malavida?

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: 'Cause you're a lousy piece o' crud and you ought to be hung upside down from your heels in a vat of pig slop.

Malavida Valdez: You're gonna make me angry, gringo!

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: You're not smart enough to be angry. You're just mean and stupid.

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Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: B.A. was telling me about the jazz... and I think I caught the fever.

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: So?

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: So, you let me in, or I write the book and blow your cover.

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Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: [Disguised as a bum] You're a princess in a world full of dragons.

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Face's Orphanage Priest: Ah, you've been a project of my life ever since you wandered in of the streets, five years old, no home, no family. But you did keep all us old goats at the orphanage on our toes, that you did! I've been givin' ya a great deal of thought. First your orphaned by your parents, then by your country, now you spend your saturday's in here with me. You got to invest in yourself, son.

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Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: [rushing Amy out of his room] I need to be alone with my phone.

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Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: We got the plane but Miguel's having trouble coming up with the poison, he wants to use bleach but now he's starting to wheeze everytime he walks.

Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: Hey, use ammonia, it's great!

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Good idea, Murdock.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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