Hannibal Smith: Now Face, if we had endless amounts of money at our disposal and we could do whatever we want, whenever we wanted, we wouldn't really need you, now would we?
Faceman: Hm. That's why I stick around, Hannibal. You have such a wonderful way of making one feel so much a part of the team.
Doctor Forbes: [handing Face a ship's doctor's uniform] It's about, eh, as close to doctors as we get aboard this thing.
Doctor Forbes: We just dispense liniments for the sunburn and try and assure the people that there has never been a recorded case of death by seasickness.
Johnny Angel: Carla, what do I have to give you to get a little kiss?
Carla Singer: Chloroform.
Lori: Are you absolutely sure that it's Scarlotti?
Faceman: You know, some faces just make an indelible impression. Especially if you see them for the first time over the barrel of a machine gun.
B.A. Baracus: [referring to Murdock] Man's not long for this world, Hannibal.
Hannibal Smith: I'm not sure he was ever in it.
'Howling Mad' Murdock: [B.A. has just driven right through the airplane they flew to Italy in] How could you do that to a poor, defenseless DC3? She didn't stand a chance!
Faceman: I don't believe this...
'Howling Mad' Murdock: Now we're stuck in this country without any means of escape!
Hannibal Smith: Now... the captain has a point there, BA. What have you got to say about it?
B.A. Baracus: [Gleefully] We ain't flyin'!
'Howling Mad' Murdock: All the good costumes are taken, what am I supposed to be?
B.A. Baracus: Hey Murdock, why don't you sit on Face's lap and go as Jerry Mahoney?
Faceman: Hannibal, your job is to help women in and out of the pool.
Hannibal Smith: A pool boy?
Faceman: We prefer to say pool persons.