Dr. Dick Solomon: Leon, of course it's wrong! The odds against you're being right are... staggering! You have a great advantage, you know the outcome. You will be wrong. Don't fear it, embrace your wrongness!
[Sally is wearing a revealing dress]
Nina Campbell: Nice dress.
Sally Solomon: I just threw it on.
Nina Campbell: Yeah, well, you almost missed.
Dr. Mary Albright: For future reference: I have a red Volvo.
Dr. Dick Solomon: Please, Dr. Albright, we barely know each other.
[Sally is fussing with her cleavage]
Sally Solomon: They seem to have greater power when they collide. I'm not wrong, am I?
Harry Solomon: Dick, I can't see through my eyelids.
Sally Solomon: Open them.
Harry Solomon: Oh, they're manual.
Harry Solomon: Okay, so meat loaf is bread crumbs, spices, and ground beef?
Mrs. Mamie Dubcek: That's it.
Harry Solomon: And ground beef is essentially nothing more than a cow?
Mrs. Mamie Dubcek: Yeah.
Harry Solomon: Well, doesn't it scream when they stuff it in the grinder?
Harry Solomon: Women. You can't live with them, and yet they're everywhere.
Dr. Dick Solomon: Nina, you smell great!
Nina Campbell: Thanks, I try...
[Dick buries his face in Nina's rear end]
Nina Campbell: That had better be your nose!
Dr. Dick Solomon: [seeing a couple kissing] Look, life forms. And they're cleaning each other.
Dr. Dick Solomon: [Harry is holding a flashlight with the bulb end facing inwards] You know, I have an urge to hold that.
Harry Solomon: Well, that's exactly what it's for.
Dr. Dick Solomon: May I?
Harry Solomon: Please.
Dr. Dick Solomon: [takes the flashlight and holds it the same way] You know I rather like this.
Harry Solomon: Yes.
Dr. Dick Solomon: I find this very satisfying.
Harry Solomon: I know.
Dr. Dick Solomon: [after a pause] I wonder what Dr Albright is doing right now.
Harry Solomon: OK, that's enough.
[takes back flashlight]
Dr. Dick Solomon: [after seeing Mary putting on lipstick] Excuse me, I have the sudden urge to clean you.
[kisses her passionately]
Dr. Dick Solomon: Sally, I want you to observe her. Find out what women on this planet do.
Sally Solomon: Well, why can't Harry do it?
Dr. Dick Solomon: Because you're the woman.
Sally Solomon: That brings up a very good question; why am I the woman?
Dr. Dick Solomon: Because you lost.
Tommy Solomon: Why are you talking to me like I'm a child?
Dr. Dick Solomon: You are a child.
Tommy Solomon: I'm older than you.
Dr. Dick Solomon: Well, now I'm bigger. And on this planet, size matters.
Nina Campbell: Is your wife out of town.
Dr. Dick Solomon: Uh... Mrs. Solomon is no longer with us. She uh... burned up on re-entry.
Dr. Mary Albright: This is a small office and you are behaving like a big hose-monkey.
Dr. Dick Solomon: You're not so bad yourself, woman.