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Two Front Teeth (2006)

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It's the night before Christmas and Gabe Snow, a tabloid writer haunted by the Ghosts of Christmas past, is investigating a Yule Tide conspiracy. Gabe knows that Flight 1225 was brought ... See full summary »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Gabe Snow
Megan Pearson ...
Noel Snow
Michael Brecher ...
Ed (Chief Editor)
Joseph L. Johnson ...
Pete
Eric Messner ...
Mall Santa
Lisa Oberg ...
Frost (as Lisa N. Oberg)
Monalisa Arias ...
Evil Elf
Annika Backstrom ...
Evil Elf
Tara Chiusano ...
Evil Elf
...
Evil Elf
Jessica Perkins II ...
Evil Elf
Katie Lawson ...
Evil Elf
Alexxus Young ...
Silent Knight (Evil Nun)
Kelly Cardall ...
Silent Knight (Evil Nun)
...
Silent Knight (Evil Nun)
Edit

Storyline

It's the night before Christmas and Gabe Snow, a tabloid writer haunted by the Ghosts of Christmas past, is investigating a Yule Tide conspiracy. Gabe knows that Flight 1225 was brought down one foggy Christmas Eve, by a flying creature with a "glowing nose". Now, a blood-sucking Vampire - Santa Claus - has put Gabe on his list and unleashed the demonic fury of the North Pole. An army of zombie elves, who have no interest in Toys or pointy hats or dentistry, are about to turn Gabe's white Christmas blood red. Will Gabe find the true meaning of Christmas? Can he stake a heart that's two sizes too small? What will he find under his tree? Written by Jamie Nash

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

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Release Date:

31 October 2007 (USA)  »

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Budget:

$200,000 (estimated)
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(NTSC Color)
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User Reviews

 
Wholesome Family Entertainment Part 12: Die, Santa, Die
1 December 2010 | by (Tallahassee, Florida) – See all my reviews

Alright, so, I'm gonna need a little grain-alcohol in my eggnog if I'm even gonna attempt to tackle this one... *SIGH* Much better. Now, where was I? Oh Yeah!! What a quaint, little treat for the whole family. Brought to you by the ever controversial Unearthed Films, as well as a couple of guys who clearly despise Christmas, yet, have an absolute genius sense of humor. Part cult-comedy, part mean-spirited, Z-grade Horror, and 100% bad taste. B-Horror fans. I give you the greatest Holiday Horror since Silent Night Deadly Night. this is Two Front Teeth!! Starring the legendary Johnny Francis Wolf as Gabe Snow, a neurotic tabloid writer (The X-mas files) with a hatred/fear of Christmas, is investigating the truth behind a terrible plane crash of flight 1225. Along with his emotionally abusive wife, Gabe sets out to uncover the mystery of this evil vampire Santa. Uh, yeah, in this movie, Santa is a Vampire. Nice touch? Probably not, but he sure does look hilarious. Clausferatu (Santa) has all kinds of henchmen to take care of his dirty work, like zombie elves, and ninja nuns (silent knights). Yeah, I know, but just go with it, because the weirdness will not let up until the final battle of semi-good vs. evil (and weird) has been had. As funny as it is creepy, this peculiar gem of a so-called Horror movie just ain't for the normal Horror fan. A cold, cynical tone lingers throughout this surreal tale. Even considering the dark-humored outrageousness of it all, and not to mention the ever-appreciated raunchy humor, the real highlight of the night is the odd relationship between Gabe and his cheating wife, Noelle. Those two are great together, with Gabe as a spineless coward, and Noelle, with her anger-issues and whatnot. Very entertaining stuff. Two Front Teeth is a worthwhile purchase for any time of the year, and no doubt a future classic of Exploitation. And if you can't get enough of Holiday weirdness, you could always watch this as a double feature with Santa Claus Conquers The Martians. Either way, Do yourself a favor and witness the craziest Christmas Horror of them all, asap. Happy Holidays, B-Horror fans. 8/10


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