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*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Yikes....This was an exercise in endurance! This film reminded me again
of how angry I am that evolution didn't provide me with a built-in
sleep timer in my head. This is two hours of tedious consciousness I
could have avoided otherwise! But here's the important parts broken
down, and why they didn't work at all.
Exposition. Endless chatter between the characters about what they are going to do. This important screen-time far outweighs the actual doing of the plan. I reckon by a factor of at least three times. It wouldn't be so bad, but with that much laying out of the story, you'd expect by the time they get on with the job that you'd have a really firm grasp of what was going on.....but in reality, there are still many "huh?" moments that leave you playing catch-up with the events.
Fun. There wasn't a whole lot of it in this film. Few witty one-liners, few visual gags, few comic situations at all. I think I chuckled a couple of times....no laughs, no guffaws, just a couple of snorts of pseudo-laughter.
Action. Well, the CGI was minimal, thankfully, but so was the action. A bit of pretend elevator shaft acrobatics was all we got and that was as ridiculous as it was unconvincing. Other than that, the heady excitement of watching grown men discuss their cunning plans with one another. Ooooh, the thrill!
Plausibility. Not very good. The stupidest part was the effort they went to in order to get loaded dice. Who would have believed the top casinos in the world got their dice from a tiny plastics firm from Craphole, Mexico? And as for using the Channel Tunnel excavators to cause earth tremors.....don't even get me started. This is mustachio-twirling villain territory!
Actors. Well some of them at least tried to have fun. Matt Damon with his ludicrous fake nose, for instance. But for the most part, the feeling they all gave off was...."We have to do this, so let's just get on with it and get it over with as quickly as possible". No real passion, not even much in the way of over-acting. Just formulaic stuff as dull as the movie.
SUMMARY: 90 minutes of men chattering at one another and 20 minutes of pretend excitement. Do yourself a favor.....fast forward the first hour at least and some enjoyment might be derived from this dull film.
I had seen Ocean's 11 did not like it a bit; so did not see Ocean's
12. But with such hype around Ocean's 13, could not resist seeing the
huge star cast executing a plan to rob the Casino.
Again Danny Ocean gathers his bunch of guys to rob diamonds and millions from Willie Bank's newly opened Casino. This he takes as a challenge because we as audience are made to believe that doing that robbery is impossible. But the way Danny and his gang go about planning the robbery is simply amazing.
To me all the Ocean's movies themes (as they are presented) looks like as easy as getting down from a tram and leisurely walking to my home, opening the house with the key, and taking money out and waving at my own self as I walk out of my home.
I know that there are die-hard fans of Ocean's series, and for them this movie would be really funny, witty, intelligent, and thriller series they can't miss. But for me it is so degrading to the sensibilities, that I find C -grade (I won't even mention B grade here) Bollywood movie a bit better than this lousy crap. At least C grade third rate Bollywood movies at times think that their audience is a bit intelligent. But not Ocean's series! The biggest joker of the lot was poor Al Pacino the owner of the casino, running haywire, from one place to another managing his biggest casino empire. Did not he hire any qualified and professional staff to work in his casino? Less said the better. Waste of money, and talent of great star-cast. Steven Soderbergh, what has happened to you? You gave us a below standard The Good German recently and now this. But I forgive you for this crap because you could not have convinced us with a robbery like this without thinking of making fools of the audience.
(Stars 3 out of 10)
Despite everyone slagging off Ocean's 12, I quite liked it. It was fun
and silly, as opposed to the fun and cool of Ocean's 11. 13 definitely
goes back to the first's style. However, it never really felt like it
Ocean's 11 was simple idea - steal money from a vault in a complex way. Ocean's 13 was similar in that its back in Vegas, they're stealing money but this time the stakes are higher with revenge on the cards.
Spoilers However, despite it having this stronger motive, you never really felt that everyone was really up for it. The plan has too many aspects to it (the fixed tables, the jewels, the reviewer, Andy Garcia, the earthquake, the Mexican factory) and so lacks focus and a really good pay off.
As for Garcia, he's barely in it. I'm not sure why the felt they could write Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta Jones out in one line but have to keep Garcia in (answer: money).
However, apart from its faults, it was better than 12, but not as good as 11. The revenge aspect does ad really drive to the story, but it ends up pushing it off in too many directions.
The first question is why the heck did they make this movie? Just to
bring all the off screen buddies back together again? I practically
fell asleep watching this disjointed mess. The dialog was non existent,
the direction jerky, I felt like the actors were going to break out
laughing. "Didn't we do all this stuff in the last 2 movies?" I am not
a gambler and Las Vegas stuff really doesn't interest me. Maybe the
gamblers of the world thought all this stuff was fantastic and
interesting. This has got to be the last one.
I've run out of things to say.
Don't waste your money.
Now, I don't even care how it ends, I haven't laughed yet.
I suppose all those actors who had the option of bailing out have pulled the cord (as was alluded to).
All those that remain are tied to this project and can be considered prisoners, we should feel sorry for them - poor guys all of them
So much for being succinct - I need to add more lines to be considered for a reviewer.
Problems - no quick, sharp byplay between characters. The villain, as sharp and witty as ever there ever was, has no-one to interact with (after the first hour anyway)
Normally the sequel to a movie is a let down. Especially if the first
part was really good. I think that's what's happened with Ocean's 12
for many but l hope this doesn't mean that they won't be watching '13'.
I was happy to see all of the same characters and actors together again because that is one big cool cast. Not to mention Al Pacino...icing on the cake.Who could resist?
For those who are in doubt about Ocean's 13, i hope you're not affected by some bad reviews because history doesn't repeat itself with this one. It's got an interesting story and some fabulous actors and acting. Don't miss out.
"Ocean's 11" was an excellent movie, "Ocean's 12" was much less good and this one is merely passable. Our well known gang of crooks decides to revenge one of them who had been victim of another crook in some affair, by sabotaging the splendorous inauguration of the latter's casino in Las Vegas. Then we watch for two hours a tedious succession of the several actions of the preparation and carrying out of the sabotage plan most of them quite unplausible and not well explained. For instance the drugging and seduction of the swindler's right-hand lady by a young member of the gang leading her to take him to the secluded room where the diamonds the gang must steal are stored, is plainly ludicrous and unbelievable. If I rated this movie with 5 it was only for the performance of its cast including some famous actors like George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Al Pacino whose talents are here clearly wasted.
I'm addicted to ensemble-cast flicks, so I simply had to see this, even
though I had some very serious foreboding. I consider Ocean's Eleven a
very stylish, slick, and well paced heist. I was a bit upset when I
learned Soderbergh would make the sequel from lesser money which just
sounds unfair. It's like you went to a good restaurant, gave a generous
tip, even brought some friends next time just to find less on your
Because (normally) money shows!
Don't get me wrong; I don't have anything against low budget. But a budget-cut sequel to a blockbuster sounds just fishy, without mentioning the extra aces like Zeta Jones, Cassel or the European locations. And if I'm wrong here, and they actually made it out of more money, it must have been used up for the above-mentioned stars and locations, for there were big, yawning gaps where some action should have been. R.I.P.
All right, you could think, now they're teaming up again to make up for it. Back to base, back to Vegas, back to the original". Think again! This is just another desperate grip on the cow's tits which was killed with O12, so they shouldn't try to milk it again. Desperate it is, really. Remember the scene from 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' where Gus was counting money as Damon and Affleck lined up to serve a second helping, before they look frankly in the camera and say something about taking a role sometimes for a friend... I guess this was the case here. Meet up, dress up smart, talk smooth and let the camera roll.
- Cut. -Are we done yet? - How's Angelina? - Grand.
(Why 5 stars then? Just because with this cast I start counting from 5. Without the names it certainly would be just the one.)
I cant say this movie was a disappointment. It was exactly what I was expecting: mediocre. The computer generated hotel, that seemed to move around the strip, was just silly. Its location changed from across from the Mirage (pay attention to the scene with Pacino and Gould at the construction site), to just south of Paris, to another location that looked like it was next to the Mandalay Bay (overhead shot). Weird. Maybe if I didn't live in Las Vegas, this wouldn't have bothered me. I have never seen Al Pacino play such a chump either. Kinda of a strange character. The most powerful man in Vegas, getting duped non-stop throughout the movie. Not very realistic. But, that goes with the rest of the movie. How about bringing in the two drilling rigs that carved out the tunnel under the English Channel between England and France? Amazing. Just flew them in, I guess. One of them at the spur of the moment. I could be wrong of course, but I did notice that there weren't many people laughing during the movie. Save your money and wait to rent it. Or better yet, re-watch Oceans 11.
It took a while but the day after I realized: The word that summarizes
this movie is "idiotic", possibly mindless.
Apparently (I fell asleep but 12 had a more complex plot - was this a way to make it more user friendly to the extreme formulaic so easy to digest no twists turns surprises or anything stimulating???) I had free tickets for this anyway so didn't mind. So it was a tad boring to say the least but kept the interest somewhat. Some would say it was insulting to their intelligence too. So much for a good story.
Further observations - could anyone (apparently a meany greedy man) like Bank (what a silly name) played by Pacino seem less upset or concerned about losing that much money? What saved this and made it mildly entertaining after a long week was the actors, aside from that guy that played Bank. They provided some levity.
Barkin should eat a Big Mac and retrieve the (bigger) nose she had in the Big Easy. She was much prettier then - and not because she was 20 years younger at all.
I discussed George Clooney with my mother and we both think he is getting more attractive with age! Thanks, Puddles
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