7.0/10
119
2 user 16 critic

Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre (2005)

Five college students, Kirsten, Meghan, Rayford, Todd, and Josh, on their way to a rock concert, get detoured to a remote closed down summer camp where they get stalked and killed off one ... See full summary »

Director:

Writers:

(screenplay) (as August Warwick), (screenplay) | 1 more credit »
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6 wins & 10 nominations. See more awards »
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Kirsten
...
Megan (as jessica drake)
Eric Masterson ...
Rayford
Voodoo ...
Todd
...
Josh
Randy Spears ...
Sheriff
Mike Horner ...
Caretaker / Killer
...
The Ring Girl
Cherokee ...
Spirit Guide
Kinzie Kenner ...
The Sister
Keri Sable ...
Porn Slut
Devon Michaels ...
Hillbilly Girl
Scott Nails ...
Boyfriend
...
Natalie
Kris Slater ...
Scott
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Storyline

Five college students, Kirsten, Meghan, Rayford, Todd, and Josh, on their way to a rock concert, get detoured to a remote closed down summer camp where they get stalked and killed off one by one by a masked killer, while in between the bloodletting, they find plentiful time to "get it on" with one another. Written by Anonymous

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Certificate:

X | See all certifications »
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Details

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Release Date:

14 September 2005 (USA)  »

Company Credits

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Technical Specs

Runtime:

| (softcore tv)

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Color:

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

This was the first adult film to be released on the HD DVD format, entering the marketplace in that format as a 720p transfer in late December 2006. See more »

Connections

Spoofs It (1990) See more »

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User Reviews

 
A horror-fan's review.
18 December 2014 | by (Hampshire, England) – See all my reviews

A tongue-in-cheek, horror-themed adult feature, this movie's title promises 'discerning' viewers some gory stalk 'n' slash to go with their bump 'n' grind. Unfortunately, for most of its running time, Camp Cuddly Pines offers only one type of 'powertool'—and it's pink and fleshy. And as for the spillage of bodily fluids—well, not much of it is red! With scene after scene of hardcore humping, and nary a graphic death in sight, anyone watching this movie WITHOUT the intention of choking their chicken will be extremely disappointed. In fact, to be honest, even for that purpose, Camp Cuddly Pines is pretty uninspiring, with each sex scene pretty much consisting of the same routine: oral, position A, oral, position B, money shot.

The cast—your typical assortment of silicone enhanced bimbos and muscle bound studs—struggle admirably to act in between the frenetic shagging, but to be honest, they're much better at delivering blow-jobs and facials than their lines. Only seasoned porno pro Randy Spears gives anything remotely resembling a decent (non-sexual) performance, and saves the whole mess from being a complete waste of time: his hammy turn as an R. Lee Ermey-style hayseed cop is pretty funny, and his brief tussle with a stuffed raccoon actually made me laugh (and not before time, considering this rubbish is also supposed to be a comedy of sorts).

As a porn film, I rate Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre 6/10; as a slasher/horror, I rate it a miserable 1/10 (splashing some fake blood after cutting away from the victim just isn't enough, I'm afraid); and as a comedy, I give it a rather generous 2 (1 point each for the two R's—Randy and the Raccoon!). Add those scores up, divide by 3, and we get a disappointing average of 3/10.


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