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Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre (2005) (V)
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Overview
User Rating:
Release Date:
14 September 2005 (USA) morePlot:
Five college students, Kirsten, Meghan, Rayford, Todd, and Josh, on their way to a rock concert, get... more | add synopsisAwards:
5 wins & 10 nominations moreUser Comments:
A horror-fan's review. moreCast
(Cast overview, first billed only)| Stormy Daniels | ... | Kirsten | |
| Jessica Drake | ... | Megan | |
| Eric Masterson | ... | Rayford | |
| Voodoo | ... | Todd | |
| Tommy Gunn | ... | Josh | |
| Randy Spears | ... | Sheriff | |
| Mike Horner | ... | Caretaker/Killer | |
| Nicole Sheridan | ... | The Ring Girl | |
| Cherokee | ... | Spirit Guide | |
| Kinzie Kenner | ... | The Sister | |
| Keri Sable | ... | Porn Slut | |
| Devon Michaels | ... | Hillbilly Girl | |
| Scott Nails | ... | Boyfriend | |
| Katie Morgan | ... | Natalie | |
| Kris Slater | ... | Scott |
Additional Details
Parents Guide:
Add content advisory for parentsRuntime:
151 minCountry:
USALanguage:
EnglishColor:
ColorAspect Ratio:
1.85 : 1 moreSound Mix:
Dolby DigitalCertification:
USA:XFilming Locations:
Sable Ranch - 25933 Sand Canyon Road, Santa Clarita, California, USAFun Stuff
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A tongue-in-cheek (as well as numerous other orifices), horror-themed XXX feature, this movie's title promises 'discerning' viewers some gory stalk 'n' slash to go with their bump 'n' grind. Unfortunately, for most of its running time, Camp Cuddly Pines offers only one type of 'powertool'and it's pink and fleshy. And as for the spillage of bodily fluidswell, not much of it is red!
With scene after scene of hardcore humping, and nary a graphic death in sight, anyone watching this movie WITHOUT the intention of choking their chicken will be extremely disappointed. In fact, to be honest, even as jerk-off fodder, Camp Cuddly Pines is pretty uninspiring, with each sex scene pretty much consisting of the same routine: oral, position A, oral, position B, money shot.
The castyour typical assortment of silicone enhanced bimbos and muscle bound studsstruggle admirably to act in between the frenetic shagging, but to be honest, they're much better at delivering blow-jobs and facials than their lines. Only seasoned porno pro Randy Spears gives anything remotely resembling a decent (non-sexual) performance, and saves the whole mess from being a complete waste of time: his hammy turn as an R. Lee Ermey-style hayseed cop is pretty funny, and his brief tussle with a stuffed raccoon actually made me laugh (and not before time, considering this rubbish is also supposed to be a comedy of sorts).
As a porn film, I rate Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre 6/10; as a slasher/horror, I rate it a miserable 1/10 (splashing some fake blood after cutting away from the victim just isn't enough, I'm afraid); and as a comedy, I give it a rather generous 2 (1 point each for the two R'sRandy and the Raccoon!). Add those scores up, divide by 3, and we get a disappointing average of 3/10.