I happened to stumble on this movie on HBO while channel surfing. Got sucked into it. Man, did I get sucked into it. Never heard of this guy Rick Kirkham but did I realize that whatever mediocre, normal, family life I have is worth so much. This movie is real and everything in it is as close to reality as you can get. The movie shows how his wife sticks by him (longer than I expected), his kids see him self destruct, his career go down the toilet and yeah, then its the drugs. And yeah all this was caused by his self-destructive nature but I took more than just the obvious. All in all, if you are feeling a little low on life and you feel luck has not not been your side, spend the 75 minutes to watch this movie. It will make you appreciate it.
16 Reviews
Regardless of intentions...great movie
markpollock119 March 2007
TV Junkie was an experience I was not prepared for. This movie was about a man and his struggle with drug addiction. Edited from hours of video footage, you see about as "honest" a look into the life of a successful man both in vocation and family ripped wide open by the monster of drug dependency as has ever been presented.
What a moving film...
I'm not entirely sure why anyone would have a problem or be suspicious of Kirkham's motives.
One thing to consider is that Kirkham received his first camera as a teenager and began filming everything at that point. So the drug addiction and subsequent breakdown of life came within the context of a lifetime of filming.
He did have a very "plaintive" way of describing what was happening to him, but I think he was trying to explain a totally indescribable feeling/situation in as professional a manner he could.
I really enjoyed this film and thought it presented a completely unique perspective on a very well-documented subject. And how could you not help fall in love with Tammi's small town wisdom and optimism.
What a moving film...
I'm not entirely sure why anyone would have a problem or be suspicious of Kirkham's motives.
One thing to consider is that Kirkham received his first camera as a teenager and began filming everything at that point. So the drug addiction and subsequent breakdown of life came within the context of a lifetime of filming.
He did have a very "plaintive" way of describing what was happening to him, but I think he was trying to explain a totally indescribable feeling/situation in as professional a manner he could.
I really enjoyed this film and thought it presented a completely unique perspective on a very well-documented subject. And how could you not help fall in love with Tammi's small town wisdom and optimism.
Worth Watching
mich_guy_3121 March 2007
TV Junkie was definitely worth watching. It satisfied my curiosity about drug use among people who apparently have it all. I've always wondered how someone with half a brain, with a decent job, and a nice family could allow himself to become addicted to crack cocaine. What is he thinking? What is the feeling that he gets from it that drives him to continue to wreck his life and the lives of those closest to him? This film answers those questions.
Frankly, the "reality" TV craze kind of hurts this film. This film is stark reality. Unlike the polished, sometimes scripted and directed "reality" programs we see on television, we see the horrible production of home movies. We see a man who has a very strange obsession of capturing his whole life on video tape. This behavior was almost as disturbing as his drug use. He videotaped constantly. It's almost like he was escaping reality by living through his video camera. I applaud the filmmakers for what must have been a painful time going through the 3000 hours of video tape that they used to make the film.
Since this is the third documentary comprised entirely of home video that I've watched in the past 18 months, it appears that there are some odd people out there who are compelled to capture everything on video. Why do they do it? My bet is that these people rarely watch their tapes as the obsession with filming goes far beyond simply wishing to capture life's events for future viewing.
Watch this movie if you are curious to see the real life of a drug addict. I would have liked to see more of his recovery, but the movie isn't about recovery. It's about drug addiction. Reviewers who suggest that Kirkham purposely got hooked on drugs as a way to make money off of a movie should have their heads examined. He was making plenty of money on Inside Edition. How much money do you think he made from this documentary? Not as much as he would have made had he stayed sober and kept his job. I also doubt that he would subject his children to experiencing the horrors of drug addiction. The man comes across as anything but a hero, and the ends certainly wouldn't justify the means.
Frankly, the "reality" TV craze kind of hurts this film. This film is stark reality. Unlike the polished, sometimes scripted and directed "reality" programs we see on television, we see the horrible production of home movies. We see a man who has a very strange obsession of capturing his whole life on video tape. This behavior was almost as disturbing as his drug use. He videotaped constantly. It's almost like he was escaping reality by living through his video camera. I applaud the filmmakers for what must have been a painful time going through the 3000 hours of video tape that they used to make the film.
Since this is the third documentary comprised entirely of home video that I've watched in the past 18 months, it appears that there are some odd people out there who are compelled to capture everything on video. Why do they do it? My bet is that these people rarely watch their tapes as the obsession with filming goes far beyond simply wishing to capture life's events for future viewing.
Watch this movie if you are curious to see the real life of a drug addict. I would have liked to see more of his recovery, but the movie isn't about recovery. It's about drug addiction. Reviewers who suggest that Kirkham purposely got hooked on drugs as a way to make money off of a movie should have their heads examined. He was making plenty of money on Inside Edition. How much money do you think he made from this documentary? Not as much as he would have made had he stayed sober and kept his job. I also doubt that he would subject his children to experiencing the horrors of drug addiction. The man comes across as anything but a hero, and the ends certainly wouldn't justify the means.
Not a fun or brilliant film but an effective real-life warning
bob the moo3 March 2008
I'm normally quite dubious about people who film themselves because I wonder what it is that they are filming themselves for. I know this is perhaps a bit ironic coming from someone who continually writes down his opinions and puts them into the public domain for free, but hey, here we are. For all the countless blogs etc out there the message is often clear that there is only a small amount worth paying attention to where most are somehow massaging ego, picturing themselves bigger than they are or perhaps just full of the belief that people will want to see them.
With Rick Kirkham I was in little doubt that here was a man who is full of himself to a point and would rather film his life than just live it. A strange man, he tries to recreate fights seemingly so that they can be captured on his camera. Now, reviewing this as a film, I cannot ignore the fact that some of the diary footage is Kirkham putting his thoughts and emotions on film instead of just having them and, frankly, this is as dull as it is egotistical and if this film had merely been edited footage from him as he was at the start of the film then the film would be almost painful to watch. Instead, the film is painful to watch but in a way that makes it worth seeing.
You see, while Kirkham obsessively films himself, it transpires that the film's title has dual meanings, because this film addict is also a junkie in the normal meaning. What this means is that we get to see Kirkham doing well in his career etc while enjoying the buzz that drugs give him. This goes on for a while with only the occasional rehab and intervention giving a clue that he isn't holding it together off the camera. As his descent begins in earnest, Kirkham's camera captures fights, depravity, self-loathing and ruin. In this regard the film does work and is worth seeing because it is a very impacting way of saying "drugs are bad even if it takes years to find out". While I don't totally agree that it is a brilliant film I can understand why some reviewers have credited this film with helping save the lives of their family or selves by being a stark warning because that is just what it is.
It is not easy viewing because of this and nor would I expect it to be. However at the same time the film isn't easy watching because of how it is put together. We get too much of Kirkham feeling sorry for himself and not enough of the worst stuff he did. We hear about some things but given it seems like he taped everything, you have to wonder why some of his "lowest" points aren't lower. Also absent is a long period between "rock bottom" and being clean not sure why none of this was used expect maybe there was no filming in this period.
Regardless though it is ironically the work of Kirkham that makes this film worth seeing. Credit to the editors to ripping though thousands of hours of (probably) banal private ramblings to pick out material that shows what drugs can do to someone who would be seen as "successful". It is a little longer than it needed to be to make the point but it did interest me for the majority of the time.
With Rick Kirkham I was in little doubt that here was a man who is full of himself to a point and would rather film his life than just live it. A strange man, he tries to recreate fights seemingly so that they can be captured on his camera. Now, reviewing this as a film, I cannot ignore the fact that some of the diary footage is Kirkham putting his thoughts and emotions on film instead of just having them and, frankly, this is as dull as it is egotistical and if this film had merely been edited footage from him as he was at the start of the film then the film would be almost painful to watch. Instead, the film is painful to watch but in a way that makes it worth seeing.
You see, while Kirkham obsessively films himself, it transpires that the film's title has dual meanings, because this film addict is also a junkie in the normal meaning. What this means is that we get to see Kirkham doing well in his career etc while enjoying the buzz that drugs give him. This goes on for a while with only the occasional rehab and intervention giving a clue that he isn't holding it together off the camera. As his descent begins in earnest, Kirkham's camera captures fights, depravity, self-loathing and ruin. In this regard the film does work and is worth seeing because it is a very impacting way of saying "drugs are bad even if it takes years to find out". While I don't totally agree that it is a brilliant film I can understand why some reviewers have credited this film with helping save the lives of their family or selves by being a stark warning because that is just what it is.
It is not easy viewing because of this and nor would I expect it to be. However at the same time the film isn't easy watching because of how it is put together. We get too much of Kirkham feeling sorry for himself and not enough of the worst stuff he did. We hear about some things but given it seems like he taped everything, you have to wonder why some of his "lowest" points aren't lower. Also absent is a long period between "rock bottom" and being clean not sure why none of this was used expect maybe there was no filming in this period.
Regardless though it is ironically the work of Kirkham that makes this film worth seeing. Credit to the editors to ripping though thousands of hours of (probably) banal private ramblings to pick out material that shows what drugs can do to someone who would be seen as "successful". It is a little longer than it needed to be to make the point but it did interest me for the majority of the time.
TV Junkie goes where I have never gone before
michael-149625 November 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I caught the film at it's Sundance Film Festival Premiere where it one a special jury prize. I was blown away by the honesty of Rick Kirkham's video diaries and the non-obtrusive nature of the editing that the director's imposed on the film. It felt like I was watching one uncut take that literally went on for 30 years. There was no emotion forced on the story other than what played out in front of the camera. On the other hand instead of a standard documentary it felt very much like a narrative film with no voice over and very few cards to explain the story. Like life there is no build up of music before a big moment and no slow motion. Life happens and it is over, both the good and the bad in a split second. It is our choices that define our existence. Rick chose never to watch his footage and he never learned from his life, I'm glad we were able to.
Interestingly we watched the film again lately with a large group at AFI Fest. The cut was different, tighter and more focused. While I cant tell you what I missed from the earlier cut I do know that a diary where Rick confesses his attempted murder of a family member really spiced up the last few minutes of the film. From what I heard at the Q and A HBO will be showing this in March as part of an 11 part addiction series. If the rest of the series is this good I'll be watching HBO in March.
Interestingly we watched the film again lately with a large group at AFI Fest. The cut was different, tighter and more focused. While I cant tell you what I missed from the earlier cut I do know that a diary where Rick confesses his attempted murder of a family member really spiced up the last few minutes of the film. From what I heard at the Q and A HBO will be showing this in March as part of an 11 part addiction series. If the rest of the series is this good I'll be watching HBO in March.
A doc that uses a functioning addicts video diaries to express the unique downward slide of a successful
nycsep13 November 2006
Warning: Spoilers
3000 hours of unwatched and unedited video diaries wrangles together a downward spiral of a typically unexamined functioning cocaine --- then crack --- addict & how he remains loyal to his drugs as apposed to his beautiful home, supportive wife and two young boys. you want to route for him, you start to get angry at him for throwing away his good life including his family. then when you see has dedicated a period of time for drugs and a period of time for "the white picket fence", the audience begins to experience the real life contradiction and internal struggle of this ex inside edition adventure anchor man. we stumble alongside him as he tuns to the violent, 'evil" crazy drug dad. screaming kids are being seen as the police pull him way while he tells his crying son "mom's going to say bad things about daddy but don't you believe her. Remember I aways love you. Now the cops are coming to take dad away...." *more screams from the boys* without give away to conclusion of this doc, it is worth watching every moment with hope, disgust, optimism, and hatred. Worth watch or to give as a gift to someone you know that could be helped by seeing this done man's too common yet oft not seen struggle to beat addiction in an previously unaccessed personal style. Would make any teenager (or ANY audience member) no want to try or do drugs for any reason...EVER. Be happy for what you have....
Everything ...and then Nothing
lambiepie-221 March 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I too was channel surfing and saw the title 'TV Junkie' on HBO. I stopped and watched this man's life unveil itself as a train wreck right before your eyes in photos and pictures he kept as a diary. Here's the thing: I didn't recognize the name of Rick Kirkham, but I saw almost all of his stories on 'Inside Edition' as I was growing up.
Rick Kirkham is one of those guys you sit back and think, "I wonder what happened to...". He was the first set of reporters and commentators on "Inside Edition" when it first came on and eventually turned into the tabloid-mess it is today. (FYI - Bill O'Reilly also was a correspondent during Rick Kirkham's time before even he became what he is today. You'll see him quickly here.) Now, I know what happened to the man, and watching this was bittersweet, depressing, sad, relieved and...hopeful.
Make no mistake, Rick had it all. He worked his way through the journalism world from the very bottom up - and landed a plumb role on Inside Edition in it's infancy. But as you watch this tale unfold via his own words and real video and photos, you'll see his downward spiral and decent into drugs and alcohol. Hard core. But did I say decent 'around the time' of Inside Edition? No, it isn't. Watch closely from the beginning and you'll get the point of this film.
Again, Rick had EVERYTHING. He scored interviews and hung out with folks we only dreamed of. He was also a dare-devil extrodinaire, racing at the Celebrity Toyota Grand Prix in Long Beach (drugged out), scaling mountains of the world (drugged out), confronting devastation of hurricanes (drugged out), etc. He had a lovely home in Texas and a Los Angeles and New York apartments. He had a wife whom I think should get the 'tenacity award of the year'. I would have been long gone.
He was grounded with his stories ...and he was a hard core narcissistic drug addict, alcoholic, wife abuser and verbal abuser to his sons. This man had the world, and it wasn't enough to stop the behavior, losing his wife, his sons, his home, his JOB! He was even handed a golden-ticket for another chance with all of this and blew it. This will be the most eye-opening, depressing, sad...and hopeful film of a life you may watch this year.
The only problem I have with this is the six year gap that went from total destruction to "clean and sober". This is a man that filmed everything and I would venture to guess that he has those six years of film but for some reason the producers weren't allowed access to it (could be part of the divorce settlement, or he felt these were even worse than what we've seen and he's already 'let out' enough for his sons, et al to be concerned about, or maybe Rick was okay in 2004 but what about ...now?) but there should have been more there to fill that six year gap. There is no way in hell this video junkie left 6 years out of his life, unfilmed or photographed.
HBO is running a series on Drug and Alcohol abuse and how it effects families, marriages, schools, teens, children, jobs, etc. There are films, doctors, documentaries, etc. to give you the viewer perspectives. I saw this 'TV Junkie' documentary within that project and it is a must see, whether with the HBO project or on its own. Scared the heck outa me, and I never was a substance abuser. But it showed me how even you or I could have been affected by this man's actions (For example, the 1993 Celebrity Grand Prix footage and his Jeep Ride will have you cringing) and that's pretty moving.
Rick Kirkham is one of those guys you sit back and think, "I wonder what happened to...". He was the first set of reporters and commentators on "Inside Edition" when it first came on and eventually turned into the tabloid-mess it is today. (FYI - Bill O'Reilly also was a correspondent during Rick Kirkham's time before even he became what he is today. You'll see him quickly here.) Now, I know what happened to the man, and watching this was bittersweet, depressing, sad, relieved and...hopeful.
Make no mistake, Rick had it all. He worked his way through the journalism world from the very bottom up - and landed a plumb role on Inside Edition in it's infancy. But as you watch this tale unfold via his own words and real video and photos, you'll see his downward spiral and decent into drugs and alcohol. Hard core. But did I say decent 'around the time' of Inside Edition? No, it isn't. Watch closely from the beginning and you'll get the point of this film.
Again, Rick had EVERYTHING. He scored interviews and hung out with folks we only dreamed of. He was also a dare-devil extrodinaire, racing at the Celebrity Toyota Grand Prix in Long Beach (drugged out), scaling mountains of the world (drugged out), confronting devastation of hurricanes (drugged out), etc. He had a lovely home in Texas and a Los Angeles and New York apartments. He had a wife whom I think should get the 'tenacity award of the year'. I would have been long gone.
He was grounded with his stories ...and he was a hard core narcissistic drug addict, alcoholic, wife abuser and verbal abuser to his sons. This man had the world, and it wasn't enough to stop the behavior, losing his wife, his sons, his home, his JOB! He was even handed a golden-ticket for another chance with all of this and blew it. This will be the most eye-opening, depressing, sad...and hopeful film of a life you may watch this year.
The only problem I have with this is the six year gap that went from total destruction to "clean and sober". This is a man that filmed everything and I would venture to guess that he has those six years of film but for some reason the producers weren't allowed access to it (could be part of the divorce settlement, or he felt these were even worse than what we've seen and he's already 'let out' enough for his sons, et al to be concerned about, or maybe Rick was okay in 2004 but what about ...now?) but there should have been more there to fill that six year gap. There is no way in hell this video junkie left 6 years out of his life, unfilmed or photographed.
HBO is running a series on Drug and Alcohol abuse and how it effects families, marriages, schools, teens, children, jobs, etc. There are films, doctors, documentaries, etc. to give you the viewer perspectives. I saw this 'TV Junkie' documentary within that project and it is a must see, whether with the HBO project or on its own. Scared the heck outa me, and I never was a substance abuser. But it showed me how even you or I could have been affected by this man's actions (For example, the 1993 Celebrity Grand Prix footage and his Jeep Ride will have you cringing) and that's pretty moving.
Thank You Rick For Saving My Life!
te-3916 March 2007
I just wanted to say thank you Rick for releasing these films and recordings and allowing this to be created. Because if this film, it has changed my life and that of my family.
This film has saved my life and made sure that my two boys will have their father while they are growing up in this harsh world we live in, and has saved my marriage.
I wish there was more I could do or say so that you (Rick) would know just how much this means to me and my family, and that you could truly understand in your heart of hearts that you have helped to save a life... My life!
I trust that in some way, some how, God will bless you for having the courage to bring forth these films and recordings. I will keep you in my prayers.
Thank you Rick!
Patrick
This film has saved my life and made sure that my two boys will have their father while they are growing up in this harsh world we live in, and has saved my marriage.
I wish there was more I could do or say so that you (Rick) would know just how much this means to me and my family, and that you could truly understand in your heart of hearts that you have helped to save a life... My life!
I trust that in some way, some how, God will bless you for having the courage to bring forth these films and recordings. I will keep you in my prayers.
Thank you Rick!
Patrick
Disturbing on an entirely unintentional level
quasimojo17 March 2007
Warning: Spoilers
What's sadder than throwing your children, wife, career, and health away for drugs? Throwing away your children, wife, career, and health away for a poorly done documentary about drugs. I have never written a movie review before, but after watching this film I felt compelled to express my horror and unease, not with the drug use or content of the film but more so with people's reactions and Kirkham himself. All in all, it seems as though audiences are split down the middle on this film. It's supporters seem to be responding to the concept more than the actual film, and often times relating the events to their own personal drama. On the other hand, it's detractors all seem to point a general unease and dislike for Kirkham. This shouldn't be shocking, as he is admittedly a drug abusing louse who periodically struck his wife, but I feel there is more to the feeling.
In every second of every scene, it felt as though Kirkham was playing to the camera, using these horrible situations to create some kind of artistic statement. I suppose there has to be a certain narcissism associated with filming diaries about your life, but there is something that seems to go deeper with Kirkham. Having spent his life in journalism (or whatever you would call Inside Edition), you could tell Kirkham was already formulating some narrative for how his story would play out. His long, meandering speeches throughout the movie, at times both sober and under the influence, seemed as though they were planned with forethought as notes to the eventual editor designed to put things into context.
The most troubling scene came when Kirkham was shown babysitting his children while drinking and using drugs. Kirkham takes the time to make sure every swig and puff is done center frame. Troubling in and of itself, the scene also highlights a fundamental flaw of the film as a whole. Since Kirkham had been a journalist, he was entirely familiar with the world of documentary film making. The viewer must begin to ask some disturbing questions. Was he taking drugs to satisfy his personal problems and chemical imbalances, or was he in fact taking drugs and ruining his children for a film? In the back of his mind, did he believe that filming his downfall might provide some kind of fame or financial success down the road? Would his drug problem have been as bad without the presence of the cameras? And most troubling of all, are the viewers and distributors of this film (and films like it) enablers, encouraging an endless cycle of people using their addictions to find careers in documentary films and self-help books and lectures. At the end of the film, it seems as though Kirkham has made a career off of lectures and seminars, using his own actions and past mistakes to make a living.
Perhaps the truest moment in the documentary was after his brief tenure as a news director/anchor in Texas. From his demeanor, it seemed as though he envisioned this as the great happy ending to his documentary. When the drugs come back to haunt him and he eventually looses his job, for the first time in the film it seemed as though he was genuinely surprised. After a few months off from filming, the old Kirkham returns, rambling through truisms, clichés, and overly dramatic pronouncements to put his situation once more back into his uncontrolled 'control'.
Aside from the many disturbing thematic issues, the documentary itself is poorly done. Gaps in the story are never quite filled in and there is no sense of timeline developed. Title cards are used sparingly, then suddenly reappear with a vengeance to fill in information. At a relatively short running time, the film still feels as though it stumbles onward for far too long with no purpose. The only credit I could give this film is that I truly feel as though it should be shown not only in documentary film classes, but also in classes regarding morality and ethics as a cautionary tale of the influence of filmmakers on their subject.
In every second of every scene, it felt as though Kirkham was playing to the camera, using these horrible situations to create some kind of artistic statement. I suppose there has to be a certain narcissism associated with filming diaries about your life, but there is something that seems to go deeper with Kirkham. Having spent his life in journalism (or whatever you would call Inside Edition), you could tell Kirkham was already formulating some narrative for how his story would play out. His long, meandering speeches throughout the movie, at times both sober and under the influence, seemed as though they were planned with forethought as notes to the eventual editor designed to put things into context.
The most troubling scene came when Kirkham was shown babysitting his children while drinking and using drugs. Kirkham takes the time to make sure every swig and puff is done center frame. Troubling in and of itself, the scene also highlights a fundamental flaw of the film as a whole. Since Kirkham had been a journalist, he was entirely familiar with the world of documentary film making. The viewer must begin to ask some disturbing questions. Was he taking drugs to satisfy his personal problems and chemical imbalances, or was he in fact taking drugs and ruining his children for a film? In the back of his mind, did he believe that filming his downfall might provide some kind of fame or financial success down the road? Would his drug problem have been as bad without the presence of the cameras? And most troubling of all, are the viewers and distributors of this film (and films like it) enablers, encouraging an endless cycle of people using their addictions to find careers in documentary films and self-help books and lectures. At the end of the film, it seems as though Kirkham has made a career off of lectures and seminars, using his own actions and past mistakes to make a living.
Perhaps the truest moment in the documentary was after his brief tenure as a news director/anchor in Texas. From his demeanor, it seemed as though he envisioned this as the great happy ending to his documentary. When the drugs come back to haunt him and he eventually looses his job, for the first time in the film it seemed as though he was genuinely surprised. After a few months off from filming, the old Kirkham returns, rambling through truisms, clichés, and overly dramatic pronouncements to put his situation once more back into his uncontrolled 'control'.
Aside from the many disturbing thematic issues, the documentary itself is poorly done. Gaps in the story are never quite filled in and there is no sense of timeline developed. Title cards are used sparingly, then suddenly reappear with a vengeance to fill in information. At a relatively short running time, the film still feels as though it stumbles onward for far too long with no purpose. The only credit I could give this film is that I truly feel as though it should be shown not only in documentary film classes, but also in classes regarding morality and ethics as a cautionary tale of the influence of filmmakers on their subject.
captivating
emilyshefferMD11 April 2007
A gripping, poignant and heartbreaking portrayal of one man's descent into the grips of addiction. All the footage is real. The editing is effective. Kirkham's raw home-video footage underscores the loneliness and desperation brought on by his drug use. His display of self-hatred and humiliation during his crack binges is both fascinating and terrifying. Nonetheless, nothing is quite as devastating as watching his wife and children suffer the consequences of his behavior. As such, the heart of this film is the love story between Rick and his wife, Tammy. One witnesses the wrenching toll it takes on her enduring commitment and almost limitless compassion for her husband. It must be stated that while this movie is thoroughly captivating (I couldn't take my eyes away for a second) it should be watched with discretion, as some of the scenes contain graphic, potentially disturbing content.
An Absolute Train Wreck.....
tom-45016 April 2007
Warning: Spoilers
in a good way.... I saw this movie yesterday... and I still can't get it out of my head. I felt as if i was living through this with him. I had a pit in my stomach for 75% of the movie. What made this movie so devastating for me, was unlike other Drug documentary, was that from the outside, he seemed like a normal upper-middle class dad.
SPOILER AHEAD...
When he was in New York, and injected crack, while sharing needles with some homosexual random guy... blew my mind, and almost made me ill. He used the wording "I hooked up with this gay guy last night" Did he mean have sex with or just meet up?!?! There was only one other movie that has ever affected me in this way before, Requim for a Dream. This movie was incredible... however I feel very depressed today and believe that movie had something to do with it.
SPOILER AHEAD...
When he was in New York, and injected crack, while sharing needles with some homosexual random guy... blew my mind, and almost made me ill. He used the wording "I hooked up with this gay guy last night" Did he mean have sex with or just meet up?!?! There was only one other movie that has ever affected me in this way before, Requim for a Dream. This movie was incredible... however I feel very depressed today and believe that movie had something to do with it.
Okay Documentary on One Man's Spiral Into Addiction
lauren731217 March 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I have read a review that said he was doing drugs and ruining his family and career for film. Ha. I don't think so buddy. Nobody would go through that kind of hell just for future profit. I think what makes it "look" that way, is his ease in front of the camera. Someone said it was like he was documenting it, but not really living it. Sort of like a disconnection between reality and reporting.
But I will say, Kirkham came off in the film as a totally self-centered addict. People who don't have experience with addiction issues (either themselves or with loved ones) will not understand this kind of behavior. That's what addicts are when they are in active addiction. He didn't like the consequences his drug use brought, and when he felt them, he lashed out at his wife, his father, and whoever else was available to blame. It is a hard movie to watch. At some points, I could not believe he was actually filming what was going on. (The cops coming to arrest him, fights with his wife, and his drunken driving and subsequent car wreck.) There are scenes where his young son Ricky was crying and upset over his father's actions. Rick used the camera at one point to document to his son what his "mommy was doing to his daddy." There are times when you just want to grab the camera out of his hands and say "GET SOME HELP!" I can see why some people would not like this film. I myself, was incensed at his self pitying and blaming. As the consequences build, he becomes depressed and suicidal. And then we once again witness him smoking crack and giving up.
(Warning spoilers ahead)
While watching it, I had this eery feeling that he was going to commit suicide while on camera and that would be the ending. Fortunately, he does not!
What is the ending is a bit anti-climactic. We see a scene of him once again getting high, cut to some explanations of what happened in the next 6 years. (His divorce and his recovery.) Bam. Just like that he is clean. This was a bit disappointing, though I'm sure his downward spiral was much more "interesting" then his fight back, so we don't see that part.
All in all, I rate it a 5. It's not excellent film making and it's not horrible. Is it narcissistic? Oh yeah. So just be prepared to watch a very self absorbed account of one man's battle with his demons.
But I will say, Kirkham came off in the film as a totally self-centered addict. People who don't have experience with addiction issues (either themselves or with loved ones) will not understand this kind of behavior. That's what addicts are when they are in active addiction. He didn't like the consequences his drug use brought, and when he felt them, he lashed out at his wife, his father, and whoever else was available to blame. It is a hard movie to watch. At some points, I could not believe he was actually filming what was going on. (The cops coming to arrest him, fights with his wife, and his drunken driving and subsequent car wreck.) There are scenes where his young son Ricky was crying and upset over his father's actions. Rick used the camera at one point to document to his son what his "mommy was doing to his daddy." There are times when you just want to grab the camera out of his hands and say "GET SOME HELP!" I can see why some people would not like this film. I myself, was incensed at his self pitying and blaming. As the consequences build, he becomes depressed and suicidal. And then we once again witness him smoking crack and giving up.
(Warning spoilers ahead)
While watching it, I had this eery feeling that he was going to commit suicide while on camera and that would be the ending. Fortunately, he does not!
What is the ending is a bit anti-climactic. We see a scene of him once again getting high, cut to some explanations of what happened in the next 6 years. (His divorce and his recovery.) Bam. Just like that he is clean. This was a bit disappointing, though I'm sure his downward spiral was much more "interesting" then his fight back, so we don't see that part.
All in all, I rate it a 5. It's not excellent film making and it's not horrible. Is it narcissistic? Oh yeah. So just be prepared to watch a very self absorbed account of one man's battle with his demons.
Held my attention, however...
hobbyhob23 March 2007
It was like listening to a bad AA or NA speaker, that is to say, someone who spends 97% of their time telling what is was like, and somewhat glorifying (as best one can) the so-called "high times" while spending only 3% of their time focusing on the solution and how truly life changing recovery can be when one puts as much effort into it as they did getting high.
That said, it was like a car wreck that you don't want to see, but from which you simply cannot avert your eyes. Which is why I rated it as I did - had it not held me I'd have scored it much more harshly. Rarely have I seen a person so far afield from the concept of personal responsibility, which I realize is not the typical strong suit of your average addict, but I've known far more than my fair share of alkies and addicts, and this poor guy just seemed to feel that life/the employer/the wife/anyone close at hand was doing it to him! And I literally screamed at the set at one point where his son is terrified and sobbing "WILL YOU PLEASE give that poor child a hug?!!??!?" There is no doubt that the insanity that is addiction was accurately portrayed, but it was a bit much to take for the majority of the documentary. And did the wife EVER once go to Al Anon/Narc Anon? That made me want to pull my hair out as well, that she was helping him stay sick and cluelessly allowing herself to be miserable in the process.
All in all, I'd recommend it, but brace yourself. I kind of let it blind side me a bit, I suppose. And it was hard to watch. The last 5 to 10 minutes was my favorite part.
That said, it was like a car wreck that you don't want to see, but from which you simply cannot avert your eyes. Which is why I rated it as I did - had it not held me I'd have scored it much more harshly. Rarely have I seen a person so far afield from the concept of personal responsibility, which I realize is not the typical strong suit of your average addict, but I've known far more than my fair share of alkies and addicts, and this poor guy just seemed to feel that life/the employer/the wife/anyone close at hand was doing it to him! And I literally screamed at the set at one point where his son is terrified and sobbing "WILL YOU PLEASE give that poor child a hug?!!??!?" There is no doubt that the insanity that is addiction was accurately portrayed, but it was a bit much to take for the majority of the documentary. And did the wife EVER once go to Al Anon/Narc Anon? That made me want to pull my hair out as well, that she was helping him stay sick and cluelessly allowing herself to be miserable in the process.
All in all, I'd recommend it, but brace yourself. I kind of let it blind side me a bit, I suppose. And it was hard to watch. The last 5 to 10 minutes was my favorite part.
Rip off Tarnation
Camoo2 April 2007
This 'documentary' lifts all the home-bred editing techniques from Tarnation, and THAT wasn't even as great a film as people made it out to be. Cue indie guitar rock with a nostalgic tone, "iMovie" cue cards over nostalgic long lost photos, break cue cards into poetic nostalgic 'faux' symbolic sentences, follow a loser over his loser life as he wallows in nostalgic introspective narrative. Did I mention he was addicted to drugs? Argh, frustrating, self indulgent filmmaking at its worst.
I want to support indie filmmakers, and low budget bedroom films that make it big - I think we need more of them in the world. But I can't support this one, sorry. I just can't.
I want to support indie filmmakers, and low budget bedroom films that make it big - I think we need more of them in the world. But I can't support this one, sorry. I just can't.
Great study of how narcissism works!
Drop-of-Porcelain188826 November 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Everytime Rick would look into that camera and lie and say that "Family was the most inportant to him" and then minutes later he would get high again...every time I wanted so badly to slap him. That man deserved JAIL and I wonder why he didn't!?!? The police would have had all that video footage of him blazing that drug and admitting that he is a drug addict and for some reason that slimeball just got away with it??? Time after time...Why!?!? And his wife should have left him the first time and not being so naive and believed his lies...over and over. I've dated a narcissist myself and I know exactly what kind of dirt they are; its all about them and their awlf loathing and fake crying! Over dramatic acting because "boho I am always the victim!" Just do as a favor and shut it! Seriously! Never felt so angry watching anything in my entire life, before this ego-one-man-show that was Ricky Kirkham! Very American too with the most jockey/fratboy song for the end credits. Really, in all honesty I felt bad for the wife and kids and wished his wife would have taken his kids away for good the FIRST time Ricky failed re-hab and kept on arguing and filming...if she would have come to her senses WAY sooner...she should have taken their sons away, because they deserve a dad who doesn't make this all about him!! And video taping his crying wife instead of helping her!! Nope this was just a big, smug ego-boost ad campaign to show off how Rick could get away with everything! And for how such a GREAT father he was for doing the most basics of things like; making breakfast...looking after the kids (but getting DRUNK while doing so!?!?!? Etc...basically this jerk wanted to get creds/praise for simply BEING A DAD! Don't feel sorry for him one bit! What a cringy, disgustingly smug narcissist! The world doesn't need more of those or at least they should ger punishments when they DERSERVE it (just like Ricky). Watch this one ONLY if you want to be angry, yourself. Because you WILL grind your teeth and wish you could smack Ricky through the screen! That's it! That's all the effort and energy I am willing to give to this slimeball!
Proof That Crack is Wack
poindexter_mellon8 July 2014
This movie seemed poorly edited and agonizingly repetitive. But it's kind of funny to imagine your local news anchor as a closet crackhead, and that's what we have here. A view of drug abuse so unvarnished that I was almost hoping this jerk would somehow quickly drop dead so I wouldn't have to continue listening to his drug addled rants. And if it was that bad for me, it was clearly worse for his kids and wife. This should be filed under "Things not to say in front of your children".
For some reason I was expecting to see a movie about the entire lifespan of some dude who really liked watching TV. Instead I got 2 years in the life of a crackhead. 2 years, that was 95% of it. What happened to the rest? And did I just see that Dan Rather is listed as one of the actors/stars of the movie? Are you f-ing serious?! He was on screen for maybe 5 seconds total.... not speaking I don't think, just grinning.
I know a few things about drug abuse. The best thing about this movie is that it doesn't glorify it for an instant. It shows the ugly and it shows a guy who threw away his family and he threw away his TV career. I don't subscribe to the whole "disease" excuse thing. I don't buy it. I've been there. It's a choice. Most people who fall into it continue to make bad choices until they either wake up dead or they eventually decide to do something different. I don't have much more than a minute amount of sympathy. And of course this exact story could have just as easily been about an ordinary everyday alcoholic who ruins his life and his family's life just like this crackhead did. Happens every day.
For some reason I was expecting to see a movie about the entire lifespan of some dude who really liked watching TV. Instead I got 2 years in the life of a crackhead. 2 years, that was 95% of it. What happened to the rest? And did I just see that Dan Rather is listed as one of the actors/stars of the movie? Are you f-ing serious?! He was on screen for maybe 5 seconds total.... not speaking I don't think, just grinning.
I know a few things about drug abuse. The best thing about this movie is that it doesn't glorify it for an instant. It shows the ugly and it shows a guy who threw away his family and he threw away his TV career. I don't subscribe to the whole "disease" excuse thing. I don't buy it. I've been there. It's a choice. Most people who fall into it continue to make bad choices until they either wake up dead or they eventually decide to do something different. I don't have much more than a minute amount of sympathy. And of course this exact story could have just as easily been about an ordinary everyday alcoholic who ruins his life and his family's life just like this crackhead did. Happens every day.
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