General Hager: [to Reed] Let me make this clear for you and your pack of freaks. I'm the quarterback, you're on my team. But I guess you didn't play football in high school, did you, Richards?
[Hager starts to walk away]
Reed Richards: You're right. I didn't. I stayed in and studied like a good little nerd. And fifteen years later, I'm one of the greatest minds of the 21st century. I'm engaged to the hottest girl on the planet. And the big jock who played football in high school, he standing right in front of me asking me for my help, and I say he's not going to get a damn thing, unless he does exactly what I say and starts treating me and my friends with some respect.
General Hager: [understandingly] Give him what he wants.
[Hagar walks away]
Susan Storm: [to Reed] I'm so hot for you right now.
Johnny Storm: [hugging Reed and switching powers] Me, too!
Johnny Storm: [about Alicia and Ben having sex] I'd hate to wake up one morning and find out she was killed in a rockslide!
Ben Grimm: I'll show you a rockslide!
Reed Richards: Your encounter with the Surfer has affected your molecules. They're... in a constant state of flux.
Johnny Storm: Is that bad?
Reed Richards: Well, it caused you to temporarily switch powers with Sue. Ideally, I'd like to run some more tests.
Ben Grimm: [walks toward Johnny] Would you like a volunteer?
Johnny Storm: No, no! Hey! This is serious.
Ben Grimm: I just wanted to give him a hug.
Susan Storm: We don't know the extent of his condition yet.
Reed Richards: It could be progressive. It could be degenerative.
Ben Grimm: It could be fun!
[Ben touches Johnny and their powers switch]
Reed Richards: No, Ben!
Susan Storm: Ben!
Ben Grimm: Whoa! Hey! Hey, it's me. I'm back!
Johnny Storm: [looks at his reflection from the bottom of a silver pitcher and sees he's become The Thing] Oh, my God! Come on! We just said this is serious!
Ben Grimm: Oh, yeah, serious.
Johnny Storm: [looks back at his reflection] Oh, you got to be kidding me!
Wedding Security: Invitation sir.
Rejected Wedding Guest: I should be on that list.
Wedding Security: Name?
Rejected Wedding Guest: Stan Lee.
Wedding Security: Yeah, nice try.
Johnny Storm: I could catch him, but he's too strong for me.
Ben Grimm: I could whale on him, but he'd see me from a mile away.
Reed Richards: It would take all four of us.
Johnny Storm: Or maybe one of us.
Reed Richards: We don't know what that would do to you!
Johnny Storm: Let's not make this about me.
Reed Richards: [the Silver Surfer's in the distance] Johnny!
Johnny Storm: [touching his tux] But this is Dolce.
Susan Storm: Did you know I can create a force field inside someone's body and expand it until they explode?
Johnny Storm: [to Dr. Doom] To quote a friend of mine: "It's cloberrin' time!"
Johnny Storm: You know, don't look completely ridiculous in that dress.
Susan Storm: Is that obnoxious brother talk for "You look kind of nice"?
Johnny Storm: You look beautiful.
Susan Storm: Thank you.
[Johnny slowly approaches Sue, looking her up and down. Finally he smiles]
Johnny Storm: Dad would be proud.
Reed Richards: [to Sue after she switches powers with Johnny] You're on fire!
Susan Storm: [shrieking] You think?
Ben Grimm: Heads up, Johnny!
[Johnny sees Frankie trying to catch the bouquet and destroys it with a blast of fire]
Johnny Storm: Sorry. Reflex.
Victor von Doom: [after showing the video of his encounter with the alien] Well?
Ben Grimm: I like the part where he knocks you on your ass.
The Silver Surfer: Treasure each moment with her and tell her she's right, we do have a choice.
Susan Storm: [after burning her clothes with Johnny's power and is now completely naked] Why does this always happen to me?
The Silver Surfer: [restrained in the lab] I know you are there.
Susan Storm: [appears] What's your name?
[the Surfer doesn't answer]
Susan Storm: Come on. You must have a name. I'm Susan.
[the Surfer still does not answer]
Susan Storm: You said you weren't the one trying to destroy our world. Then who is?
The Silver Surfer: The One I serve.
Susan Storm: Who do you serve?
Susan Storm: Look, I'm trying to help you. But in order to do that, you have to tell me the truth. Please.
[the image of a ruined world appears on his stomach]
The Silver Surfer: It is known by many names. My people called it... Galactus, the devourer of worlds. It must feed on energy to survive, both thermal and organic.
Susan Storm: How could you willingly serve this thing?
The Silver Surfer: Because I must.
Susan Storm: Doesn't it bother you? All the worlds and innocent people you've helped destroy?
The Silver Surfer: My service spares my world, and the one I love.
Susan Storm: Why did you try to protect me?
The Silver Surfer: Because you remind me of her.
[Susan Storm brings General Hager to the bar and catches Reed Richards dancing with two ladies]
Ben Grimm: [to Johnny] I think it might be clobberin' time...
Susan Storm: This isn't how I imagined it.
Alicia Masters: Nothing ever is.
Susan Storm: Alicia, this just doesn't feel right.
Alicia Masters: It's okay. Even super heroes can have wedding-day jitters.
Susan Storm: It's more than that. Is my life always going to be a circus? Can we raise a child in... all this? Face it, we're not exactly normal?
Alicia Masters: Ben and I aren't exactly a normal couple. But that doesn't stop us from being happy. Do you love Reed?
Susan Storm: More than I've ever loved anyone.
Alicia Masters: Then there's your answer.
Ben Grimm: [gets smashed into the wall by a large concrete slab] OK. That one hurt.
Susan Storm: Where's Reed?
Reed Richards: [muffled voice] Back here!
Ben Grimm: [Ben steps out from the wall to reveal a flattened Reed] My bad.
Ben Grimm: [Ben encounters a grizzly bear in the forest] Hey, you scared me, Smokey. Look at you, you're cute.
Ben Grimm: [the bear growls at Ben who roars causing the animal to run away] Yeah, that's right, runnin' Boo Boo. Overgrown furball.
Johnny Storm: Are you building that thing?
Reed Richards: No, it...
Johnny Storm: [chuckles] If Sue finds out, you're gonna get an invisible kick in the nuts.
Mr. Sherman: [to the Silver Surfer] There are certain things I'm not permitted to do because they're considered human rights violations. Fortunately, you're not human.
Alicia Masters: Hey, Johnny.
[turns head slightly in his direction]
Johnny Storm: [taken aback] Wow. Does that always amaze anyone else? How did she know it was me? I didn't say anything!
Alicia Masters: Well, to be honest, you kind of smell like ash.
[Silver Surfer grabs the Human Torch by the throat]
Johnny Storm: [in a strangled voice] Can we talk?
The Silver Surfer: All that you know, is at an end.
Johnny Storm: We wouldn't even be in this position if I wasn't such a complete screw up.
Ben Grimm: Hey, you're not a complete screw-up. A 'partial' screw-up, maybe.
Johnny Storm: Thanks.
Ben Grimm: Look, there's nothing you and me can do now. It's all up to the eggheads.
Johnny Storm: You think Reed's right? That this might really be the end of the world?
Ben Grimm: He's never wrong about stuff like this.
Johnny Storm: [after a long silence] You know, I'm not a very deep kinda guy...
Ben Grimm: [mocking Johnny's attempt at a sincere tone] No?
Johnny Storm: I'm just saying,
Johnny Storm: if we can't stop this, if it's really the end of the world... how are you going to spend your last few minutes?
Ben Grimm: [stares into his empty pitcher and thinks about the question] Part of me would like to go out fighting.
[pauses for a second]
Ben Grimm: But to tell you the truth, I think I'd like to spend my last few minutes holding onto Alicia.
Johnny Storm: [absentmindedly] That sounds good to me.
[notices Ben's jealous stare, realizes what he said, and tries to backtrack; he begins to stammer]
Johnny Storm: Not holding onto Alicia, because she's your girlfriend, not mine. I have no interest in her whatsoever.
[sees Ben's look getting worse]
Johnny Storm: Not that she's not attractive, because she is. 'So' attractive. I mean, who wouldn't want to...
[the glass pitcher shatters in Ben's hand]
Johnny Storm: What I meant, is that it's just nice to have somebody.
Ben Grimm: Well, you got me pal.
[trying to escape from the Army compound with the Silver Surfer, the Fantastic Four are confronted by Captain Raye]
Captain Frankie Raye: [pointing her gun at Reed] What's going on here? Where is General Hager?
Reed Richards: He's dead.
Ben Grimm: And if we don't get outta here soon... we're all gonna be.
Johnny Storm: [steps forward, a look of pleading on his face] Frankie...
[Captain Raye turns slightly and points her gun at Johnny]
Johnny Storm: The world is literally at stake. You have to trust us... please.
[Captain Raye stares at Johnny a few seconds, then takes her finger off the trigger of her gun]
Susan Storm: I understand. I'm not angry.
Reed Richards: Good.
[turns around starts to walk away. Steps into an invisible force field]
Susan Storm: I'm not finished yet!
Reed Richards: [turns around, speech is muffled by the force field] Please continue.
Johnny Storm: [trying to convince Reed to make a bachelor party] Then do it for Ben. It means a lot to the big guy. You're gonna break his heart. He does have some sort of rock-like heart, doesn't he?
[flying alongside the Surfer]
Johnny Storm: I thought you could use a hand!
Johnny Storm: [after he throws a flaming dart which sets the dartboard on fire and has to dump a pint on it to extinguish it] Sorry, I'll pay for that.
Susan Storm: Guys, we have a problem! He's here!
Reed Richards: Sue, get out of there!
Susan Storm: Why are you trying to destroy us?
The Silver Surfer: I have no choice.
Susan Storm: There's always a choice.
The Silver Surfer: Not always!
Susan Storm: Reed, I know you. I'm glad you had fun.
Reed Richards: Thank you.
Susan Storm: Besides, it was nothing compared to what I did at my bachelorette party. Talk about wild.
The Silver Surfer: [flying into Galactus] I will no longer serve. This is the end for us both.
Anchorwoman: Last night the F.A.A. was forced to ground all aircraft, leaving thousands stranded, when electronic failures and mysterious power outages crippled the western United States. But the big story today, the much anticipated wedding of fantastic couple Reed Richards and Susan Storm will take place this Saturday.
Reed Richards: General Hager.
General Hager: Let's talk somewhere private.
Susan Storm: Unless you need to do Jell-O shots off someone's stomach.
[seeing Galactus for the first time]
Johnny Storm: Oh my God...
[falls to Earth out of shock]
Victor von Doom: Now, let's be clear about this, shall we? I hate you.
[looks pointedly at Sue Storm]
Victor von Doom: All of you. But the world's at stake and we need to work together to survive.
Reed Richards: [to Hager] General, we know firsthand - you trust Victor and you're gonna regret it.
General Hager: So far, the only one I've regretted trusting here is you, Richards.