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(2006 Video Game)

Quotes

Shogo Takamoto: I am not a thief, and you would be wise to avoid such accusations.

Lara Croft: Just name a price.

Shogo Takamoto: Miss Croft, are you deaf?

Lara Croft: I don't know, let's see. Try begging for your life like you did the last time we spoke.

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Zip: This must be where Santa's evil brother lives.

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Child Lara: Are we going to crash?

Lady Croft: Not unless it's absolutely necessary.

[the plane starts to shudder violently. The pilot starts talking frantically through the comm]

Lady Croft: Close your eyes, darling.

Child Lara: I don't want to close my eyes.

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Lara Croft: [Hanging off a cliff] Breathe, Zip. It's just like going up a set of stairs, only far less boring.

Zip: Yeah? Well I wanna throw up every time you look down.

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Alister Fletcher: It's called Coincidence.

Zip: Hmm, funny name for a sword.

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Zip: Oh, so that's where we put the temple.

Lara Croft: Grand entrances are always impractical, that's what makes them grand.

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Zip: Now, I don't get it. Weren't Excalibur and the sword in the stone the same thing?

Alister Fletcher: They were two bloody different swords!

Lara Croft: Now really, Zip, that was too easy.

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Alister Fletcher: [after Lara has just sent a forklift hurdling over a ledge] Are you all right?

Lara Croft: I decided to take the slow way down instead.

Zip: Should've told that to the forklift.

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[Lara has lost contact with Zip and Alister]

Lara Croft: All those satellites and computers, just to perfect the science of talking to oneself!

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Lara Croft: [after unsuccessfully attempting to remove a sword from the stone] No "King of England" jokes, Alister. I probably need to turn on the power first.

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Narrator: Enter, once and future king! Merlin deems you worthy!

Alister Fletcher: Hmph, the real Merlin would roll around in the mud and bark at you. And I'm being generous by calling it mud.

Lara Croft: There's no difference between stupid and charming with you, is there?

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Zip: The connection isn't too strong, so you probably won't be able to hear much once you're under water.

Lara Croft: There is a God.

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Zip: It's the center of the evil coat rack empire.

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Lara Croft: I think Amanda might not have died down there.

Anaya Imanu: Is that what this is all about? Closure?

Lara Croft: Isn't that what it's all about? Why we dig up the past? To understand it.

Anaya Imanu: I am an engineer, Lara. I build for the future; I don't dwell on the past.

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Anaya Imanu: Lara, can you hear me? Those bastards from town are here, and they're coming down after you!

Lara Croft: Well, this is a tomb. I'll make them feel at home.

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Toru Nishimura: What about Takamoto? Where is he?

Lara Croft: It depends on whether if he was naughty or nice.

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James W. Rutland Jr.: Lara! You're a busy beaver, aren't you?

Lara Croft: Oh look, it's Rutland. Fancy dropping down for a chat, then?

James W. Rutland Jr.: Only if you can shoot this far.

Lara Croft: You know long-distance relationships inevitably come to an end.

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Winston: Not to presume, Lady Croft, but I hoped you wouldn't try to use the sword yourself after what happened to your mother.

Lara Croft: She removed the sword - that's what killed her. I don't intend to do the same. If my father had known any of this, he tried so hard. And they hated him for it.

Winston: No one hated him, Lara.

Lara Croft: It bloody well wasn't love, was it?

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Amanda Evert: You idiot! You ruined everything!

Lara Croft: All these years I blamed myself, and it was you! You killed her!

Amanda Evert: Killed her? She's not dead! She went where I was supposed to go! Where you could have gone!

Lara Croft: Make sense right now or I swear I will execute you right where you stand!

Amanda Evert: I told you to pull out the sword. I TOLD YOU!

Lara Croft: [firing her gun] WHERE... IS... MY... MOTHER?

Amanda Evert: AVALON! It's not a myth. Don't you get it? You'll never understand. I'm wasting my breath.

[Lara knocks Amanda out with the end of her gun]

Lara Croft: From this moment, your every breath is a gift from me.

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Zip: Ouch. That sounded permanent.

Lara Croft: Death by irony is always painful. Amateurs.

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[first lines]

Child Lara: [looking at her drawing of Yetis] Just because no one's ever caught one doesn't mean they're not real.

Lady Croft: That is very true, but perhaps they don't wish to be found. I've heard they're rather fierce.

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Archaeologist (Kent): Lara? Over here!

Lara Croft: Kent? What's going on?

Archaeologist (Kent): It killed Oscar.

Lara Croft: What did?

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Lara Croft: [upon meeting Amanda the first time after Amanda's "death"] Amanda!

Amanda Evert: [dealing with the Russian mechanism] Damn it, Lara! I'm busy.

Lara Croft: I see you've changed your look. It was you in Bolivia, then. With Rutland.

Amanda Evert: [walking away] I've been all over and am going to places you cannot conceive. You are the one being left behind this time.

[mockingly]

Amanda Evert: Sorry.

Lara Croft: I'm sorry, Amanda. If I knew you were alive, I would have done anything I could to save you.

Amanda Evert: [stops and turns] Oh *please*! I got over that a long time ago. Do you know what really used to bug me, though? When I got out, and saw you didn't even try to... Oh, what is that archeologists do? Right, *dig*!

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Zip: [a sealed door is blown into pieces] Now THAT'S how you open a door!

Lara Croft: I prefer door knobs.

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Lara Croft: Good advice, Zip. You do look after me.

Zip: You, and Winston. He writes the checks.

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Alister Fletcher: [Lara has just used a motorbike to jump from one high-rise to another, destroying the bike in the process] Don't ever do that again!

Lara Croft: Not on that bike, I won't!

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Zip: [Yakuza goons start firing at a seemingly unarmed Lara and she dives for cover behind a bar. One of the Yakuza calmly walks over to the bar, expecting an easy kill and is blown away when he looks behind it. Lara then stands up holding her trademark pistols, and procedes to kill all the yakuza goons in the room] Where'd you get those?

Lara Croft: Basic ettiquette: Never arrive at a party empty-handed.

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Lara Croft: [Lara strolls into a Peruvian town sporting her two trademark pistols. All the town residents quickly run indoors] They don't seem quite so keen on visitors these days, do they?

Zip: Well hey, you're the one with the guns.

Lara Croft: You can't blame me for knowing how to accessorize. Any word from Anaya?

Zip: She said she'd meet you at the statue in the marketplace.

Lara Croft: At least we'll have our privacy.

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Zip: [Lara has just blown up a gas cylander and cage on top of Nishimura's building] Nishimura's gunna bill you for that!

Lara Croft: It's not a party until something gets broken...

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Lara Croft: [Lara is standing on a cliff looking out over a spectacular african waterfall] If all else fails, I can get into the postcard business!

[Looking through her binoculars, she notices Rutland's men lowering crates into the waterfall]

Lara Croft: Oh, now look at the little termites mucking it all up! That won't do at all.

Zip: Looks like they didn't get in from this side. Any ideas?

Lara Croft: We'll see... I do my best thinking plunging off cliffs.

[Lara proceeds to dive off the cliff into the river below]

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Zip: [after Lara pulls down a large screen] Eh, she never did care much for TV.

Alister Fletcher: Maybe now they'll read a book.

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Lara Croft: [after having traveled to Bolivia, Peru, Japan, Ghana and Kazakhstan] Did Alister have any luck with that map I sent?

Alister Fletcher: I'm back. You're not going to believe where this leads!

Lara Croft: Oh, you're going to find me extremely credulous today.

Alister Fletcher: Cornwall.

Lara Croft: [pause] As in "take the M5 to the A30" Cornwall?

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Lara Croft: [after surfacing in the lake in Ghana] Oh, the water feels great! Oh I miss Ghana.

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Zip: Is that a jaguar?

[the jaguar approaches Lara and pounces on her and she shoots and kills it]

Alister Fletcher: Why big predetors attack prey larger than themselves is a mystery.

Lara Croft: And a pity.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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