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The Ultimate Gift (2006) Poster

Quotes

Ted Hamilton: So you're Jason's friend?

Emily: Yes. I am.

Ted Hamilton: True friend?

Emily: Absolutely. Pinkie promise.

Ted Hamilton: So how long have you known Mr. Stevens?

Emily: We go way back, we're like this.

[crosses fingers]

Emily: Now where do I sign?

Ted Hamilton: And, um... , he hasn't promised you any compensation for this friendship?

Emily: Look at him. Does he LOOK like he has anything to offer?

[Miss Hastings suppresses a laugh]

Ted Hamilton: So, uh... , you expect this friendship to continue?

Emily: I plan on knowing Jason for the rest of my life.

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Red Stevens: When I achieved my dreams, it was like going home to a place I'd never been before. You don't know that feeling, do ya? The first few gifts I've given you have been practical - show up, do this and do that - and then the gifts started needing you to provide input. They needed intuition. Still, your average person is too weighted down. Jason, you need to be free, free to dream. You need to come up with a dream then act on it.

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Miss Hastings: [appraising Red's relatives] It's amazing just how far the fruit can fall from the tree.

Ted Hamilton: And still roll a great distance.

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Red Stevens: How can I give you something and not have it ruin you like your uncles and aunts... even some of their kids? So, I wanna give you a gift - a series of gifts, leading up to... well, I wanna call it "the ultimate gift;" but, you fail in any way, it's over. You get nothing. And everything you do must be to Mr. Hamilton's satisfaction. You might wanna make friends with him sooner than later.

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Jason Stevens: I don't need his money.

Caitlin: Yeah, but one can always use some extra walking around money.

Jason Stevens: Not if I have to sell my soul.

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Caitlin: [calling on cellphone] So I'm dying to know. What did you get?

Jason Stevens: Uh, it's complicated, but it involves land, building materials and slave labor.

Caitlin: They're giving you a shopping mall?

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Jason Stevens: I need a friend.

Emily: Explain yourself.

Jason Stevens: It's complicated.

Emily: No. It's not. It's pathetic.

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Emily: So, you have a bet with a dead guy?

Jason Stevens: Mm-hm.

Emily: Cool.

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Red Stevens: Our lives should be lived not avoiding problems but welcoming them as challenges that will strengthen us so that we can be victorious in the future.

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Red Stevens: What I could not accomplish in life I have done in death. As long as you're still alive, I will be, too.

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[Jason finds Emily in a hospital church, sitting before a statue of Jesus with welcoming arms raised]

Jason Stevens: You know, I, um... I don't know much about God or... or Jesus, but I can promise you that those arms are meant for you.

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Emily: Yeah, you can kiss me, even though you're a guy.

[Jason kisses Emily]

Jason Stevens: I missed you, too.

Emily: Whatever. Let's cut to the chase. You really blew it with us this Christmas.

Jason Stevens: I... I was unavoidably detained.

Emily: Okay, yeah. I want Christmas. I want - to ride - a horse.

Jason Stevens: Oh, I-I got, like, a week or two left with this other thing but, um... , lemme make a call and we'll s...

Emily: Jason. Now.

Jason Stevens: Okay.

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Jason Stevens: You thinking about butterflies?

Emily: No, Jason. I'm looking at the stars

Jason Stevens: You know, I set this whole thing up because I thought YOU wanted to go horseback riding, not your mom.

Emily: Get real. Horses are smelly and sweaty.

Jason Stevens: So, sweetie, what's YOUR dream. If you could dream of anything - anything - what would YOUR dream be?

Emily: My dream? My dream was a perfect day... and I'm just finishing it. My dream is to be with people I love, who love each other, and that love me.

[scene shifts]

Emily: What about you, Jason? What's your dream?

Jason Stevens: I don't know. For as long as I can remember, all I wanted to do was have fun. Now, I don't have a clue.

Emily: It's okay. Guys are clueless.

[Jason laughs]

Emily: Hey, you have to know this: even if you don't have a dream of your own, you gave me mine. That counts for something.

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Red Stevens: Jason, any process worth going through will get tougher before it gets easier. That's what make learning a gift, even if pain is your teacher.

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Emily: Do you know God paints every color on a butterfly with his fingers?

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Stranger: [reading Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities] "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness..."

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Stranger: [translating Spanish read by Jason] "Neither love nor hate thy life; but what thou livest, live well - however long or short may the heavens permit."

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Ted Hamilton: [reading Red's will] "To Sarah, widow of my late son, Jay Howard Stevens. I am truly sorry for the events of the past. Please know that Jay's death represents the greatest tragedy I have ever experienced. I leave you control of my Myers Park estate where you now reside and a managed trust for expenses as long as you live."

Sarah Stevens: [smugly to her male companion] There we go.

Ted Hamilton: [continuing] "Since your choice of male companionship is vast and varied, the deed and title for the house shall remain under the control of my trustees."

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Gus: Don't worry. You'll run out of posts before you run out of Texas.

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Jason Stevens: That was the gift? I do manual labor for a month and you're trying to tell me it was a favor... to ME?

Ted Hamilton: The gift of work.

Jason Stevens: Wow.

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Red Stevens: [chuckling] Yeah, well, you don't begin to live until you've lost everything.

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Emily: Okay. It's official. You are the slowest person I have ever met.

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Emily: Two completely opposite people, who wouldn't have had a chance without me, destined to make each other miserable.

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Alexia: [about to meet Jason's family] Emily's bet that they are perfectly normal people.

Jason Stevens: Oh, yeah? How much?

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Emily: You screwed up big-time you know! I had to eat a rubber hospital turkey for Thanksgiving! You better be back by Christmas!

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Jason Stevens: [laughing down at his dinner] I'm afraid to ask.

Bella: Oh, you will love it. It's so rare we catch one.

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Emily: [sarcastic] Wow. An airport gift shop gift. How thoughtful. Does it come with needles?

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Emily: Look at her, isn't she beautiful? I mean, except for her choice in lipstick.

Jason Stevens: [laughs]

Emily: But you have to admit, even if you for nothing else out of the deal but her, you'd still be a huge winner.

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Ted Hamilton: I think it's time I retire from this law firm.

Miss Hastings: What ever will you do, Mr. Hamilton?

Ted Hamilton: Go to work with Jason Stevens. Change the world.

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Jason Stevens: I think it's only fair that I know the amount of money that we're dealing with here. Don't you? I mean, I've been gone for a month. Just... tell me. What do I have to do? What is it?

Ted Hamilton: Red said "a series of gifts," but let me add a personal note: I, too, think this is a waste of time, but it will end shortly because you are going to fail. I expect you to fail and to fail miserably. Now, if you DO want to continue, make an appointment with Miss Hastings.

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Jason Stevens: In the park I looked like a bum.

Jason Stevens: Let's not be delusional - you WERE a bum.

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Bill Stevens: Great sector - health care. A little flat in the third quarter but poised to rocket.

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Ted Hamilton: What he's trying to do is for your benefit, not your destruction.

Jason Stevens: You know, Hamilton, you sound just like him. But guess what. You're not him.

Ted Hamilton: I don't know, son. I do have one of his kidneys.

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Red Stevens: A parent should never have a child precede them in death. It is the most painful experience imaginable.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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