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7 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

Is it Horror Shlock or Stylized Porn? Neither It's Crap!!!!!

1/10
Author: NeoMalfoy from Canada
25 November 2008

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Beastly Boyz is a film that can't decide whether it wants to be a no budget slasher film or a over stylized sexless nude-less porno.

A film almost completely devoid of any plot except that the "writer" decided that he needed an excuse for the main character, who is also our villain, to go around and kill some guys...

The plot, what little there is, is as follows: Travis Finds his twin sister Rachel lying on a dock in some sort of summer sports camp. What either of the siblings is doing there in the first place is never explained... except for a small trickle of what is supposed to be one assumes is blood but looks more like chocolate syrup on her lips and not a scratch any where else on her body in fact she looks as though she's just stepped out of the shower and decided to take a nap on the dock, bust she's dead. And because Travis and Rachel have a... GASP... Psychic connection... (Lazy Writing convention number 1). She can talk to him from beyond the grave, though she couldn't use it to let him know she was in trouble in the first place. After her ghost tells him she was murdered and he needs to get revenge on those who did it he then spends a 20 minute 80's training montage doing "sporty Things" and the worst kick boxing I've seen on film... before lying on the dock and having a 10 min (screen time) erotic fantasy about his sister and running a kitchen knife up and down his body over his underwear and licking said knife... Then though a ritual and auto-writing he gets the names of the guys that killed Rachel. Why he need to preform a candle light ritual to get the names when he already has a psychic connection to his sister I'll never know...

And there you have it the opening half hour of a hour and fourteen minute long 'movie. What follows is uninspired kill after kill with no blood just for most kills we're treated with 10 minutes of more body/knife erotica only this time Travis is running the knife up and down is clueless victims who for some reason ignore or can't feel the knife on their body, again for at least 10 minutes (I'm not kidding I timed the scenes) before the show a quick reaction show of them being kill and then we cut to the next scene. One victim is even tied to the rafters of a roof and gaged and he does not struggle or try to get away from the knife or Travis in fact once Travis treats him to the knife massage over his underwear he seems to get aroused...

The acting is horrible and forced, the effects are non existent then character run around in nothing but their underwear for no reason at all but hey it's summer camp... most of the movie no explanation as to why they are at a summer camp are they campers? Counsellors? From the local town? The dialogue is unintentionally laughable with gems such as:

Travis: How many more do I have to kill before it's all over?

Travis: Your Pleas of sorrow are weak, time for you to bleed.

Travis: I felt like I had my revenge, but I sensed that my revenge was woefully incomplete.

Travis: I did it Rachel I got revenge on those who took your life... You Loved your life didn't you? Loved your friends, your work, your home. I'm sorry that it's gone, but life doesn't end at death you are still with me. I've avenged your murder, Rachel. Now we can be together forever as brother and sister in heaven.

This is actual dialogue and as it appears in the movie there is no lines in between spoken by Travis or anyone else in fact there is no other speaking characters except Rachel saying things like "Kill them," or "Travis,".

The Victims are as silent as they are generic twinkies who are completely interchangeable with any other twink actors in porn...

In fact that is my theory the original intent of this film was a porno film but then some one said "He this is pretty good. Let's cut out the sex and make a homoerotic slasher film gay men will eat it up cause look as the guys their good looking and they're all running around in their underwear"

They then decided to edit out the sex scenes that came after the knife massage or just before it and cut right the the quick cut of the murder.

Worst of this film was made with the co-operation of Insight Films who brought us The Donald Strachey Mystery Series why they would put their name on this steaming pile of dung is beyond me... Xtra magazine, OutTV are also thanked in the credits.

When is the gay community of which I am a part going to wake up and realize that a Gay themed Piece of SH** movie is still a PIECE OF SH** and no support this garbage like any other film.

If a Horror film is truly a waste of time those that truly love the Genre don't go see it just because it's a horror movie and we need to support our genre. By going to see these celluloid B.M.'s we're saying we okay with lazy film making and that film makers can continue to spoon feed us this crap.

I urge anyone Gay, Straight or other wise to avoid this film at all costs, that is unless you want to see a soft, soft, soft-core non-porn,there are no money shots boys... no nudity below the belt at all front or back... had they had a few of these shots it might have been worth a look ;)

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9 out of 12 people found the following review useful:

Rub that knife on me one more time, baby

1/10
Author: Johnny LT from United States
5 December 2009

David Decoteau seems to have earned, rightly so, a reputation as the Roger Corman of gay horror schlock, having produced a dozen such movies in the past four years. He uses an interchangeable cast of nobodies who probably just came off of a modeling shoot or out of the nearest twink bar, and has an Uwe Boll-like proclivity for reusing the same sets and locations over and over, probably because it's cheap to film there. Beastly Boyz takes a slightly different tack from most of his movies, because the script is about as long as the Preamble to the Constitution. Instead of silly things like plot and dialog, we get treated to extended scenes of the main character rubbing a knife up and down the bodies of lithe young men. These sequences literally last for several minutes at a time. The movie is 74 minutes long, but it feels much longer, just because it doesn't ever bother to *do* anything. If you have a fetish for knife play, then this is the movie for you, but I don't think anyone else needs to see this.

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5 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Soft core GAY porn at its worst!

1/10
Author: bwilliams38-625-827246 from United States
3 January 2010

5 minutes of running through the woods + 5 minutes of sitting in front of a bunch of candles in your skivvies + 10 minutes of the camera panning up and down the toned, scantily clothed bodies of young guys + 50 minutes of a dude in his undies running a large knife up and down the bodies of the same scantily clad young guys = Beastly Boys! No script, absolutely no acting talent required! Apparently the only thing that matters is that your bum look great in a pair of boxer briefs! Can I please have back the 75 minutes (well, actually more like 15 minutes - my finger was on the fast forward most of the time) I just wasted viewing this piece of trash?

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2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

The most stupidly hilarious/hilariously stupid film ever...

1/10
Author: shakirrahman19 from Canberra, Australia
30 May 2011

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Warning: Spoiler!! This review is written just for fun! By no means this is to be taken seriously. I do not mean to offend anyone through this review.

Okay, so it starts off with a lady getting killed by a group of amazingly charming young lads (if I were to be killed, this would be the way to go....sigh!). The repercussion of this incident majorly screws up the sexuality of her twin brother. He starts running through the woods all day in red boxer briefs, and only stopping to simulate intense murder actions with a knife which he sharpens on a rock every now and then. At night, he gets kinky, have (incestuous, phantasmal) wet dreams about her sister (....ewww! New level of perverseness!!), and have sex with the previously mentioned knife (kinky!!). After a couple of repeats of this same weird sequence, he finally gets ready to avenge his sister's death. To find out who killed his sister he does the most amazing planchat ever. He strips naked, sits in a Buddha stance (showing nice fuzz in the process!!) and passionately calls on the spirit of her dead sister. The spirit of her sister reveals the name of the murderers, but considering that only the names would not get his brother far, she also shows him what they look like (the most logical thing in the whole movie, how ingenious!!). Now full of murderous rage, the brother starts tracking down the killers one by one and starts killing them off. But here's the fun part...he likes to watch the amazing gorgeous guys run in their shorts all day, and only when they get tired and get back to their lodge (btw this is all happening in a camping lodge...I guess that's why it's so easy to find all the killers) does he attack and kill them. But you can't simply just kill them!!! No, that would be too straightforward and logical. He is a sexually screwed up guy after all. So before every murder he has a threesome with the victim and (guess who??) the super-kinky knife!!! He gets bolder, and kinkier with each murder. During his last murder some dude finds out what he is doing which starts a new series of chain-of-events regarding more boys in briefs running around...(the guys run a lot in this film, which made me think - is running guys a huge popular turn-on?). At this point I got really bored and quit...

Seriously, you can only stand to be teased by super-hot young boys running around in their shorts for so long!!

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1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

Mysterious, erotic, and yet somehow dumb

6/10
Author: rob_h from Dover, NH
6 February 2010

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Beware: Spoilers.

I've always enjoyed David DeCoteau's films. They have an appealing formula that turns on a superficial and vaguely supernatural plot usually involving a group of guys, one of whom is innocent and nice and gets seduced (or nearly so) into evil by another guy. (Of course, all the guys are young and ripped.) There's usually a girl or two, and inevitably she gets involved in some kind of elaborate quasi-orgy scene with the innocent guy, the evil guy, and his flunkies. (During this scene the flunkies help the good guy undress and then watch him make out with the girl while they watch and touch themselves.) Sometimes shots are replayed in slow or fast motion. David DeC claims that he makes his films for girls and keeps everything suggestive, even the violence, for a teen audience.

This time around, a guy's twin sister has been brutally murdered and he avenges her death. We don't know why she's killed. There's almost no dialogue. The main character works out and rubs a knife on his body. Then he magically finds each of the killers, spends a long time looking at them and sometimes rubbing the knife on them, then kills them. We never really see any stabbing, but we do get to see long, long sequences where he runs the knife over the other guys' bodies. (The one I'm watching now feels like it's been on for 10 minutes.) Did I mention there's hardly any dialogue? The whole film kind of reminds me of Derek Jarman's The Angelic Conversation. Kind of a more commodified version. Worth a look or two.

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0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

Best DeCoteau that I've seen...

7/10
Author: rgcustomer from Canada
24 June 2011

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I liked this film, which I guess makes me unusual.

The only other DeCoteau film I've liked (not that I've seen even half of them) was The Brotherhood.

This one is better. There's only one female character, and she's not on the screen much. The guys are all hot, and the camera lingers lovingly over all of their best parts.

While some of the actors have worked only with DeCoteau, the actor playing Travis has also gone on to work with others (TV episodes, The Thaw).

The plot is the minimum required for a horror film about a knife-wielding revenge murderer. There are some good moments here, beyond the eye candy. For his second revenge murder, Travis spends minutes running that knife up and down Emery's sleeping body, but the second Emery wakes up, Travis's mood changes from almost sexual fascination with the knife, to blankly noticing the waking Emery, to pleasure going for the kill.

I will grant that most scenes are too long, maybe by 3-5 minutes each, and that this movie would have been better around 60 minutes in length. If hot young men aren't your thing (of if you were expecting porn) then you might be too bored.

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