Think of all the icons and touchstones of Bad Bad Bad we love and respect: Manos, Plan 9, Eegah! Think of all the big-budget stinkburgers we've forced friends and relatives to sit through, trying to infect them with our disease: Skiddoo, Myra Breckinridge, Showgirls. Think of how we all felt when we realized that MST was only able to scratch the surface of Bad, since they had to track down the perpetrators and get rights, and since they had to stick to movies that COULD be ripped. I mean, how do you make fun of Acid Eaters, Night of Horror, Broadway Jungle? Now, for you lucky ones, you true connoisseurs of cr*p, think about those very special flicks even you couldn't take in one sitting, the absolutely unwatchable: Misery Brothers, Jimmy the Boy Wonder, Microwave Massacre.
This. Is. Worse. This is hallucinatorily bad. This is so much further down the scale than Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare that you'll laugh hysterically rereading all the one-star Comments on IMDb for the original-poor fools! You think this is bad? Wait till the sequel comes out twenty years later, then you'll REALLY see something that'll bring up your lunch!
If you believe, really believe, in the healing power of bad film, this is a can't-miss. No hints, no clues as to what you'll be exposed to-OK, just one: the magic scene in which Jon-Mikl, now pushing three hundred pounds, in floppy rubber armor, is attacked in a park by a SINGLE STRAND of Swedish ivy. Does he defeat it with his mighty broadsword? You'll never know till you see The Original Rock Warrior in...INTERCESSOR!!!!