Ultimate Spider-Man (2005 Video Game)
[after being thrown through a roof by the Goblin]
Spider-Man: I have just officially run out of ways to say, "Ow."
Spider-Man: Is that a horn on your head, or are you happy to... Oh my God, I am so scared I can't finish my lame joke.
[chasing after Venom who's captured Silver Sable]
Spider-Man: Crazy silver hottie threaten my family. I should let Eddie eat her. He'd be doing me a favor. But then I'd then feel guilty about that because, clearly, I don't have enough things to feel guilty about. So now, here I am. Trying to save the crazy woman. If my life were any more stupid, it would be on network TV.
Peter Parker: I need it.
Mary Jane: It's not done.
Peter Parker: Give it back.
Mary Jane: It's *really* not done.
Peter Parker: I can't go swinging around in my nerd clothes.
Mary Jane: I just have to finish stitching up a hole in the butt and then I'll give it back to you.
Peter Parker: I can explain the hole in the butt by the way.
Mary Jane: Please don't.
Johnny Storm: [racing Spider-Man across Queens] Madame Web is faster then you, and I don't even get the reference.
Beetle: [after Spider-Man chases him through New York] You are very irritating.
Wolverine: [fighting Venom] I'm the best at what I do, and what I do ain't pretty at all. See these claws? Unbreakable. You? Bet not.
Peter Parker: [saving people from falling off a bridge, Silver Sable helps] Hey, weren't you trying to kill me just a minute ago?
Silver Sable: I was hired to capture you, not harm innocent civilians.
Peter Parker: Aw, your a crazy lady with a heart of gold.
[racing the Human Torch]
Spider-Man: Moon Knight is faster than you!
[racing the Human Torch]
Spider-Man: Speedball is faster than you!
Spider-Man: [When racing Johnny Storm] An actual matchstick is faster than you!
Spider-Man: [When fighting the Green Goblin, referring to his fireballs] Only YOU can prevent Spidey-man fires!
Spider-Man: [to Johnny Storm] I am here to win back the honor of my family name.
Johnny Storm: What?
Spider-Man: I was watching "Fist of Legend" last night.
Spider-Man: [sing-song voice] The fist bone's connected to the - face bone!
Peter Parker: [narrating] This is how it all began. Which of course, leads to a sense like this. A few months ago, I reunited with my childhood friend, Eddie Brock.
Peter Parker: What is that?
Eddie Brock, Jr.: It's... our inheritance.
[repeated line as he falls into the river]
Spider-Man: Glub. Did I just say glub?
[after defeating Rhino, Alex O'Hirn ejects from the robotic rhinoceros]
Alex O'Hirn: Back away from me, masked avenger. My diminuitive corpus will not with-stand your contumelious deficient.
Spider-Man: Not with the big words again.
[after Venom trashes the bar, Wolverine walks in]
Wolverine: Nice mess.
Venom: Hunger! Feed!
Wolverine: [pops out his claws] You don't say.
Johnny Storm: Alright,this is the last time we're doing this.
Spider-Man: Bring it.
Johnny Storm: You got enough web fluid for a lap around the entire island?
Spider-Man: Got enough lighter fluid?
Johnny Storm: Wow, that was a lame comeback.
Spider-Man: It's the altitude.
Civilian: [after seeing Spider-Man chasing the Beetle] Whoa, Spider-Man's chasing Iron Man!
Spider-Man: [Punching the Green Goblin] Maybe this will knock the crazy out of you.
Mary Jane: What's wrong?
Spider-Man: It's Eddie, he's still out there. And I don't know if I'm scared of him or for him.
Mary Jane: But he's not here.
Mary Jane: I'm here.
[He puts his arm around her]
Spider-Man: [to Rino] Hey you! Is that a rhinoceros horn or are you just happy to see...
[Rhino turns around and he's 8 feet taller than Spidey]
Spider-Man: I am so scared right now I can't even finish my lame joke.