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|Index||19 reviews in total|
I watched this film mainly because it has received such a high IMDb
rating (7.8 when I saw it) and some very positive viewer comments. I
decided to overlook the dodgy sounding plot (a hard working academic by
day, and a racy car driver by night, seeks unspecified "treasure"
through the streets of Moscow), and give it a go. How I wish I
The main problems with this film are as follows: (1) the plot is ridiculous, utter nonsense. You can actually here the script writers in their meeting with the studios, gulping their mineral water and saying "it's Indiana Jones meets The Fast and the Furious meets The Da Vinci Code!" Well it is in that elements have been blatantly copied... sorry I mean influenced... by those films, but unfortunately none of the humour, excitement or intellectual interest has made it into this particular piece of cinematic history.
(2) The acting. This is probably the best thing about the film, because it is just unintentionally hilarious. Who knew there were so many bad actors working in Hollywood? Their timing and delivery is atrocious. And don't get me started on their "Russian" accents. I had no idea Moscow had such a prominent French-German population. Some money might have been best spent on a dialect coach, or at least helping this poor habitually out-of-work (for a reason, some might say) actors learn that not all Europeans speak in the same accent. And Sherilynn Fenn - have times got so bad for you, my love? You should be ashamed!
(3) The direction. I know very little about film making, but this is so bad that it jars even if you are an average Joe with no idea about movie-making. My favourite bit of direction was the cut to a large dead animal on the wall of a bar, that jerked me out of my clunky-dialogue induced reverie and at least provided me with another piece of unexpected mirth.
(4) The script. Don't ask. Just don't.
So all in all this film MIGHT (and I stress might) appeal to 13 year old boys whose ideal film is Indian Jones meets The Fast and the Furious meets... oh you get the picture. However if said 13 year old boys have a little more intelligence and taste than perhaps that group generally get credit for, then they might also run screaming from this monstrosity.
I'd say to all involved in the making of this film - don't give up your day job. And if this is your day job? God help us all.
After seeing the first scenes of this film I thought I made a new discovery, but my disappointment settled early on. I didn't expect anything special, and so it wasn't. This movie has some of the most unrealistic and wannabe acting I've seen. The characters are false, and the interaction between them is like in a cheap soap opera. The situations created are far from being credible and with a mixture of some superficial special effects, some scenes look really funny, far from their original purpose. Overall it's one of those bad movies in which you have the idea that you know all the way what's gonna happen, and it happens. It has many dead scenes, the plot is too predictable, and the important moments have quite typical solutions. I had the patience to see it until the end, with all of these, and there's no wonder if I won't hear much of it in the future. What surprised me was David Carradine accepting this role, but maybe I haven't seen more of his movies. I gave it a 3/10 for the effort, and I'm not sure it deserves as much.
Editing, acting & storyline was very poor... production values not too bad, but overall, RUBBISH!
The new would-be Russian big-guy that plays "Wolf" can't act for toffee.
Carradine's role is predictable and the closest thing to a good turn in the whole thing... and that's saying something!
The Russel Crowre look-alike in the lead role was acceptable, bit that's the best I can say...
What a waste of time!
Don't waste any time off your already precious life on this.
Pathetic at best and I'm being generous is the only way to describe this D grade attempt at a movie.
The attempt at acting and the Russian/American accents were terrible. Story line is so cheesy.
A professor of history who is drag racing treasure hunter searching for the treasure of the Knights Templar.
It is what it is and it is definitely bad.
If hope my comments save's someone from watching this. The best part of this movie was turning it off and it didn't take long.
I gave it a try, stayed with it for about an hour, but I had to give up. It beat me. Although there was an effort, as one other reviewer noted, it appeared the producers figured they had to dumb it down for the masses. Editing was weak. At one point, the police get a call of a disturbance so they decide to go investigate. Next scene, the disturbance begins! No respect for the viewer. And the clichés - Lord, I lost count. From your typical fight at the bar to the comment, "If I tell you, I'll have to kill you." I can see middle school kids being entertained, but certainly not grown adults. Although I must say, the character of "Wolf" had the best Schwarzenegger impersonation I've ever heard!
The worst movie I've ever seen (after Borat). Horrible actors, stupid story. These people have never seen a camera. Maybe they have been "hired" from the street. The plot of the movie is very shallow. They somehow tried to copy from "Largo" and other movies, but did not succeed. They even stole David from "Largo" so that they can get some viewers. Another side of the story is that all characters are really ugly. Even the "beautiful" girlfriend of the main character looks like hit by a truck. And she is also a very bad actress. The movie consists of disconnected scenes. Seems as if it has been shot randomly, with no main idea. Cars, races, history--all at one place. Really bad English coming from people who obviously read the text from behind the camera, because they don't even seem to focus on the subject they are talking about. Hard to believe someone spent time and money to shoot that movie. Shame.
Alexander Nevsky - Actor - Action Hero star of Treasure Raiders
I can't believe I'm writing about this guy. I do so because in my boredom here I had the terrible misfortune to sit through one of the worst films ever made; Treasure Raiders, and Nevsky is the star. It's like a mixture of National Treasure and The DaVinci Code starring the retarded child of of some action-hero sperm donor. I was glued to the screen it was that bad. The movie also features some skeletal Carradine brother and that woman from Twin Peaks who never really died, more's the pity.
The movie's set in Russia and the supporting cast is shocking. The script is autistic. The camera-work is infantile and even the end credits don't save it. The movie was made in 2007 and had a budget of $10 million. Ten million!
Imagine how much good one could do with that much money! You, like me, will want to lay waste to the collection of idiots responsible for the imbecilic, talentless, celluloid turd that is Treasure Raiders - if you ever have the misfortune to see it that is.
And so to Nevsky, the lead actor. I'm talking about the kind of bad acting we could only aspire to had we been swung by the legs as babies and had our heads repeatedly cracked against door jambs.
Imagine the fattest Seagal with the stupidest Stallone with the most wooden Van Damme and then add a pinch of Arnie's awful accent. Yeah, it's really that bad. David Caruso would look like a Shakespearean actor beside this guy and anyone who makes Caruso look good must be a royal, acting spastic don't you agree? Watching Treasure Raiders I wanted to beat Nevsky to death with his own foot.
Nevsky, like Arnie, has a bodybuilding background. After years spent winning everything in Moscow he then published bestselling fitness books yadda yadda yadda until eventually wait for it ..he ended up in the Lee Strasberg Acting School.
The Lee Strasberg Acting School!!!! The same Lee Strasberg School that trained DeNiro and Pacino and Keitel and Hoffman and Marlon Brando.
Here's an interesting fact. Jack Nicholson had to audition five times to get into Strasberg's Acting School. Yup, five times. And that was a very young and hungry Nicholson too. Hoffman auditioned six times .Harvey Keitel eleven times. That school had standards man!
One year, out of 2,000 candidates for places at Strasberg, only two were accepted .Martin Landau and Steve McQueen. Understand? See what I'm saying? And they let Nevsky in! What is the world coming to? Next they'll be telling us Drew Barrymore has talent.
Historian who likes racing meets his racing nemesis and oh .they share a common interest in treasure hunting! They hunt for treasure. There is a baddie.
That's Treasure Raiders folks and believe it or not, Nevsky wrote it!
Not with joined up letters I bet.
I can still taste the bile in my throat. You know I think the storyboard was probably finger-painted by a child.
And I get angrier and angrier at crap like this when I see how real artists struggle to make essential viewing like City of God or Das Boot or The Lives of Others; films that simply screamed to be made and must be seen whatever the cost. Movies like these save an industry that is awash with talentless Nevskys.
Movies like Treasure Raiders are proof positive that the mainstream movie industry is drowning in a pool of its own prawn-cocktail urine. Shame on the misfits who have anything to do with this rubbish. History will be much more unkind to them than I could ever be here.
As for Nevsky, he'll no doubt end up kicking the life out of some famous wrestler one of these action-movie days. He will be rich. His career will no doubt span ten years. Our lives will be no better or worse for it but our intelligences will be deeply offended. And the most maddening thing of all is that Nevsky shares his name with one of the most important Russians in history, a medieval warrior, beatified and once voted the greatest Russian ever!
By the way, read this from an actual sperm-bank website Los Angeles California Cryobank sperm donors will be reimbursed up to $100 per donation and up to $1200 a month by donating 3 times a week. We periodically offer incentives such as movie tickets or gift certificates for extra time and effort expended by participating sperm donors.
What the hell is extra time and effort? Is that like having a slow rather than a fast one? Is that like making two consecutive deposits? Are they paying by the fluid ounce??? I wonder if you have to work a week in hand.
I was going to invest in this clinic but I pulled out at the last minute!
Just as you leave the clinic, do they thank you for coming?
Okay okay...I'm done now...
...or should I say spent?
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Okay we all saw Tokyo drift and thought, my god the acting is bad, the
dialogue is dire and the premise is weak. But we watched it cos the
driving scenes where very good. People who have actually attended a
street race know that, (despite a bit of poetic licence) it captured
the feel of street racing. Tomb raider was another fun 120 min romp
with Angelina Jolie, running about the place in implausible situations.
We watched it cos it was a movie re-make of a video game and to that
end it lived up to that standard. A fun way to waist a slow evening. So
why am I bleating on about a different movies? The answer is simple; I
would rather talk about any film then relive this appalling, low end,
poor, bile inducing, hate child of tomb raider, fast and the furious
and Arnie, on one of his bad acting days!
Why? It's bad acting, a terrible obvious plot, weak actors - who appear to be uninterested in the film, bad accents bad, bad acting all alienate you from the film and at no time ever involve you. Instead you feel as though you are a disgusted bystander who wishes to either leave or fling eggs. So the acting and overall film are (imho) awful surly the car chase / race sequences are enough to keep me interested..? No, the race scenes do not appear to be a part of the original vision for this film and they appear to be tacked on afterthoughts. The whole race sceen reminded me of a drive to town with my Gran - slow. So we have 6 cars, down town Moscow, night time,a great back drop ... cars doing 40 kph with the occasional badly staged crash - because all car based films need a crash. The overly obvious ending is painful to watch - does this count as a spoiler? we will all spot the baddie from a mile away and know what will happen at the end, fortunately the baddie explains the whole plot including things the watcher is unaware of, which again makes it all feel tacked on and leaves you feeling isolated as if all the important bits of the film happened off camera while you where watching a lot of nothing scenes. If you must watch this mess of a film then you can entertain yourself by counting all the 80's clichéd lines. As far as I could tell the only one missing is 'I'll be back!' To conclude; I would not watch this film again on a bet. Please do not go see this at the cinema, do not rent this, do not watch it on TV it's just that bad.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
David Carradine what are you doing? Sherilyn Fenn what are you doing? Since when does unknown beef boy Alexander Nevsky get top billing over Carradine? Man this movie simply sucked. *** May contain Spoilers here *** A professor who likes to race at night as a hobby gets caught up with the usual suspects: Russian drug lords, backstabbing Columbian doctors and - David Carradine. Oh and this professor is on a journey to find the secret treasure to the nights templar - could they have found more to put into the plot? Sure! Why not throw in an irrelevant useless police force in there as well?! and have them appear whenever we need them to tie up loose ends in our swiss cheese plot?! or how about we kill interesting librarian characters without any explanation whatsoever? yes! let's do it! We've got ourselves a winner here! *** End Spoilers *** The only reason it gets 2 stars is because I found some serious scenes hilarious. The plot is all twisted up in the wrong way, but what I don't understand is how they've got explosions and cars getting busted up but the production quality looks like a film made on a 10g budget! Actually I've seen films made on a 10g budget and at least the acting was decent!! Sad to see actor's grab up a role just to keep themselves busy.
If you want to waste your time, this is the one for you. Very bad
acting. poor dialog delivery, stupid action scenes (if you have ever
watched any Jackie-Chan movie, OK forget Jackie Chan, Steven Seagal! OK
forget Seagal, Chuck Norris! OK forget Norris, any other
American/Chinese/hongkong action movie, you will wonder what is going
on here!), idiotic expressions at times. Only one villain is worth
watching who survives at the end! He reminded me of Mickey Rourke(Marv)
in Sin City.
I watched this movie because someone had given very good feedback (someone who wants to make money!!) and the actor 'Alexander Nevsky' is considered hero in his country. After reading his profile, I liked him for not depicting Russian as bad guy as he refused few offers to act in blockbuster movies! But he is destroying the Russian reputation by being a bad actor. He is a bodybuilder alright, but it's the acting, which counts, not just the body!! Schwarzenegger or The Rock would not have done so well if they had acted poorly.
I want my money back. Although I watched it for free, It was still not worth my time!
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