User reviews

The script for this movie is far removed from the original 1961 Mexican-made classic originally titled "El Baron de Terror" and later renamed as "Brainiac" for English speaking audiences. While the original film has achieved cult status for its seriocomic attributes, this "modern remake" of Brainiac falls short to the point of being, let us say, brainless. As a long time and ardent fan of the horror and monster movie genres, I am generally not hard to please. I routinely derive some degree of cinematic satisfaction, not only from Grade B but B - films, that offer a new glimpse or spin on the dark side of science and humanity. This film, I am sad to say, deserves an "F."

As is the case with many movies that flop, the problem begins with the script. Although the storyline adopts a horror-mystery "who dunnit" type formula, the presentation is so amateurish and obvious that the viewer knows the answer to the mystery right from the beginning of the film. This fact renders many of the investigative discovery scenes relatively pointless and boringly so. To make things worse, the virtual lack of a dramatic sound track throughout much of the film takes away from the emotional impact of those scenes that might otherwise appeal to the misogynistic slasher movie type fan, who might otherwise be undaunted by the predictable storyline.

Although some of the actors appear competent and interesting in their roles (most notably, Lisa Nistri as Dr. Sunday Morgan, the protagonist; and Joe Hansard as the slovenly, Columbo-type, detective), the casting suffers from a bad case of creative nepotism. In this sense, the producers/writers (Greg and Matt Bayan) have also cast themselves in key roles for which they unfortunately exhibit neither talent or credibility. This issue goes beyond the realm of not having the creative distance necessary to pick the best actor for a role, to the point of producing flat and unconvincing performances that look like something out of a high school play. Moreover, despite trade blurbs that claim the film pays homage to the classic monster and horror films of the 1950's, the director (Terry King) does not seem to know what kind of film he wants to make. While some scenes are played "straight-up" others are so far "over the top" that they detract from the continuity of the film, appearing neither scary nor humorous. One wonders whose idea it was to draw out the scene where the detective leers at an unknowing Dr. Sunday Morgan through a see through glass panel in a swimming pool, ad nauseam. Somebody give me an editor, please! The same holds true for the special effects which, although credited to the Tom Savini School of Make-up FX, vary from ghoulish to mostly foolish, and generally come off as primitive even by low budget movie standards. One of the few exceptions is a severed head toward the end of the film that abruptly opens its eyes, as if to suggest that it may still be alive for some type of sequel...I hope not.

Grade Z idiocy, more in the tradition of 'The Relic' than anything that played at your local Bijou during the 1950s, regarding the testing of a new medication that will in theory cure both substance addiction and certain psychoses. The customary results occur.

Despite low production values, 'Brainiac' is almost redeemed by a few good performances, particularly by Lisa Nistri as the only practical--and not practically-braindead--member of the medical staff, and Joe Hansard, who finds fresh depths to plumb as the slovenly, clueless police detective you've seen in a million other movies. Both actors perform above the level of the script, although you'll still be wondering why it takes them so long to figure out what you knew after ten minutes.

In the debit column, co-writer/executive producer/actor/show-off Greg Bayan must've tried to get Joe Mantegna to play Van Dorn and decided to play Joe Mantegna himself when he couldn't. He's okay, but the filmmakers should've held out for Joe Mantegna.

'Brainiac' is paced pretty well by first-time director Terry Michael King and makes the most of its ho-hum Johnstown, Pennsylvania locations. The movie's major flaw--and it's a big one--is with the special effects. There's a nifty severed-head-in-a-toilet shot, and they must've mixed up too much fake blood for the movie and decided not to waste any, but those parts are mostly set dressing. The meat-and potatoes of the effects are frequently laughable. Credited to the Tom Savini School of Make-Up FX, you might be wondering if the whole film wasn't an entrance exam instead.

But all in all, as a first effort for most of those concerned, it could've been a lot worse.

A drug called Nirvana has turned its inventor into a monster that sucks the brains out of people. That's the whole movie. Writer Greg Bayan gives a bland performance as said inventor, and Lisa Nistri plays Dr. Sunday Morgan, the scientist trying to figure out just what the hell is going on (I was still wondering what the hell was going on even after the movie ended). The movie's total run time is 92 minutes-- about 20 of which is spent on opening titles with effects that looked like they were done on Windows Movie Maker.

I'm no expert on horror movies (Ive only seen about 3 of them in my life), but I know this much: they should be scary. Overlit scenes and rubber halloween masks with a penis-shaped, brain-sucking claw don't make a movie scary. They make it look like fodder for MST3K.

You don't need a lot of money to make a good film, but you do need a script with a focused story arc, and characters with at least one dimension.

The cast of Brainiac is comprised mainly of amateurs (and perhaps friends of the filmmakers). The only professional is Joe Hansard (Det. Danko) who uses his comedic talent to play a lazy doughnut-eating cop. I enjoyed Hansard's performance, but it felt out of place in what was supposed to be a "horror" movie. Hansard's talent would have been better suited for a comedy, or a real horror movie with a script that didn't try to spoof itself.

I did like this, and for a "horror-ish" movie, it scared me. I am scared easily, but there were tense moments for everyone in the theatre. There were good performances for some characters, but for others it was practically painful to watch, namely the younger supporting actors and actresses.

The plot wasn't hard to follow, but a major... kind of annoyance... was how it looked like a home-movie. And during a home-movie you expect not-the-best-stuff, and that's what you got. The strange alien-like head of the doctor was better then expected, but it looked fake. There were scary moments, but It could have been way better.

Plus, I'm not one for horror movies.

PsyMax Corporation is about to release its new miracle drug called Nirvana. The drug eradicates all addiction by releasing endorphins in the brain. Unfortunately, corruption, scandal, and murder threaten to derail the project.

Meanwhile, a mutant creature is at work de-braining unwary victims. Could this be connected to PsyMax?

BRAINIAC is a low-budget remake, loosely-based on the original Mexican hyper-schlock classic. It's every bit as ridiculous as its progenitor.

BEST BITS: #1- The "street" lingo used by the biker and the drug dealer! #2- The monster!

Let the intoxicants flow freely...