It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series 2005– ) Poster


Charlie Kelly: Oooh shit... Look at the door, dude. You see that door right there? The one marked pirate? You think a pirate lives in there?

Charlie Kelly: Later dudes, S you in your A's Don't wear a C and J all over your B's

Dennis Reynolds: How much cheese have you eaten today?

Charlie Kelly: How much cheese is too much cheese?

Dennis Reynolds: Any amount of cheese before a date is too much cheese!

Charlie Kelly: I had a lot of cheese, I had a block of cheese.

Mac: You had a block of cheese?

Charlie Kelly: I got really, really nervous I just started eating cheese

Mac: [annoyed and confused] Does that calm you down?

Dennis Reynolds: What are your dislikes?

Charlie Kelly: Peoples knees

Dennis Reynolds: Oh come on!

Mac: Bro you got be kidding ,you know what we'll make it up

Dennis Reynolds: We'll make the whole thing up

[Looks at Charlie]

Dennis Reynolds: We're not even going to use you!

Charlie Kelly: Cover you knees up if your going to be walking around everywhere.

Mac: What's up, bitches?

Mac: I never seen so many beautiful people in my life.

Dennis Reynolds: Check it out, even Sweet Dee is getting lucky.

Charlie Kelly: That dude's going to bang your sister, bro.

Charlie Kelly: But I am who I am.

Mac: Yeah let's pretend you aren't who you are and just try to attract a woman.

Mac: I have an idea.

Frank Reynolds: [Turns in fear] Where did you come from?

Mac: Frank I've been walking next to you this entire time

Charlie Kelly: What are you gonna do, hit him? No, that's a terrible idea, I'll tell you why: it doesn't unbang your mom.

Dennis Reynolds: What is this wolf hair?

Frank Reynolds: Also inconclusive.

Dennis Reynolds: Jesus Christ how is that inconclusive?

Dennis Reynolds: Check this out

[stretches his legs apart]

Charlie Kelly: Good, that's good. And you're not getting a high ride, huh?

Dennis Reynolds: Well I'm getting the high ride, but the jeans aren't restricting me.

Donna: You're thirty-three years old, you're supposed to be sexually active! You're not supposed to be fondling your uncle under the table

Charlie Kelly: [talking about the waitress] She got a job at the fair I can probably stalk her there.

Charlie Kelly: So what you want a maid?

Frank Reynolds: That's right a maid, a maid I can bang

Charlie Kelly: When was the last time we played night crawlers together Frank?

Dennis Reynolds: Uhh. What's what's that?

Charlie Kelly: Well, it's... not about you. Why don't you just write it down?

Charlie Kelly: Alright, let's go get some men!

[repeated lines, said in no specific order]

Mac: Absolutely.

Charlie Kelly: Absolutely.

Dennis Reynolds: Absolutely.

Charlie Kelly: I know that game.

Mac: God you're disgusting, a disgusting animal.

Mac: I think you should bang Gail the snail

Frank Reynolds: My neice?

Mac: Yeah

Frank Reynolds: Gail the Snail?

Mac: Dude what's more depraved than that huh? So she's not blood related so it's not that weird.

Charlie Kelly: You did your best, no hard feelings! I'm going to grab some of this literature on my way out too.

Dennis Reynolds: She didn't do that great of a job.

Charlie Kelly: I mean, don't beat her while she's down, man.

Charlie Kelly: But I do feel like she tried the intervention on us

Dennis Reynolds: are you intervening us is that what that was?


Dennis Reynolds: you know what I'm feeling I'm feeling like you've lost control of the room here. When really we're the ones who are running things here

Dee Reynolds: I've lost my trust in you, I feel like we can do this on our own.

Dennis Reynolds: I think we can do the intervention on our own without her.

Charlie Kelly: Do you guys think?

Dee Reynolds: [turns to Charlie] Yeah

Charlie Kelly: Alright, might as well give it a shot.

Dee Reynolds: Is it a yes or a no, because you're kind of holding up traffic here. It's just - it's rude.

[repeated lines, said in no specific order]

Mac: Boom.

Dennis Reynolds: Boom.

Dee Reynolds: Boom.

Dennis Reynolds: Whoa, what's up with the spray paint?

Charlie Kelly: Uhh... what's up with the outfit man?

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