Futurama: Bender's Big Score (2007 Video)
Professor Farnsworth: Yes? I see.
[hangs up phone]
Professor Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! Those asinine morons who canceled us were themselves fired for incompetence.
[the crew cheers]
Professor Farnsworth: And not just fired, but beaten up, too... and pretty badly.
[the crew cheers doubtfully]
Professor Farnsworth: In fact, most of them died from their injuries.
[the crew remains silent while Bender laughs evilly]
Professor Farnsworth: And then they were ground up into a fine pink powder.
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, it's got a million and one uses.
[Takes some Torgo's Powder and sprinkles it in his pants]
Professor Farnsworth: Aw, that soothes the fire.
Leela: [referring to both the numerous air conditioners and the admirers of Futurama] So what does this mean for us and our many fans?
Professor Farnsworth: It means we're back on the air!
[the crew is still silent]
Professor Farnsworth: Yes, flying on the air in our mighty spaceship!
[the crew cheers wildly]
Bender: We're back, baby!
Al Gore: Finally, I get to save the Earth with deadly laser blasts instead of deadly slide shows!
Bender: I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do.
[Nibbler finishes removing the timecode from Fry's butt with a laser]
Nibbler: Finished. I've managed to save the universe and forty percent of your rectum.
Bubblegum Tate: That's all you need.
Hermes Conrad: And that's why they call me 11-inch Conrad.
Bender: I support and oppose many things, but not strongly enough to pick up a pen.
Lars: Hello, everyone who isn't Leela. And a special hello to everyone else.
Professor Farnsworth: I can wire anything directly into anything! I am the Professor!
Barbados Slim: You haven't seen the last of Barbados Slim! Now goodbye forever!
Zapp Brannigan: We fight this battle not for ourselves, but for our children, and our children's children, which is why I'm forming a children's brigade.
Al Gore: Dang. That hundred dollars could have gotten me... one gallon of gas!
[Leela and Lars share an intimate kiss in the Hall of Screaming Skulls]
Leela: Let's go to my place.
[cut to an outside shot of Leela's apartment building. A wrecking ball razes the building]
Lars: I... like what you've done with it.
[everyone is huddled in a giant rock igloo on Neptune after the scammer aliens have taken over the Earth]
Bender: Rrrrr... it's so cold, my processor is running at peak efficiency!
Leela: What are you, a whining machine? If you want to worry about something, worry about the Yetis.
[a chorus of howling Yetis is heard from a distance]
Zoidberg: Oh... YETIS!
Professor Farnsworth: Amy - you speak Yeti - what are they saying?
Amy Wong: I'm not sure, but it sounds like something to do with... assaulting the interlopers!
[a trio of giant Yetis smashes through the side of the rock igloo; everyone screams and scatters while Leela runs towards them]
Leela: Yeee-ah! Don't mess with me you ice-crapping snow honkys. I just got dumped!
[the Yetis flee in terror as Leela chases after them with a primitive spear]
Hermes Conrad: Sweet Yeti of the Serengeti! She's gone crazy Eddie in the heady!
[Hermes realizes that Zoidberg attached his head to his body backwards]
Hermes Conrad: You incompetent crab!
Zoidberg: I thought you were happy. Your tail is wagging.
Nudar: You've got no code, no porn, and you're ugly. Let's dance!
Bubblegum Tate: Man, that cube-root was a real buzzlebeater Clyde!
Professor Farnsworth: If Hermes were here, he'd fire you all!
Hermes Conrad: I am here.
Professor Farnsworth: Quiet, you!
[Bender's time paradox duplicate prepares to terminate Fry]
Bender: Hasta la vista, meatbag!
Nudar: You, Booger-Bot, read the code or I'll shoot this guy!
Bender: Who the hell is he?
Scruffy: I'm Scruffy... the janitor.
Bender: Hang on, Scruffy!
Leela: [Bender returns from time travel and steals... ] The Mona Lisa!
Bender: Sorry, it's not quite finished.
Shlump: Da Vinci give you any trouble?
Bender: Let's just say he might not make it to "The Last Supper".
Professor Farnsworth: Time travel is impossible!
Fry: But Professor, you time traveled yourself. Remember? When we went back to Roswell?
Professor Farnsworth: That proves nothing! And furthermore, you'd think I could remember a thing like that! Plus, who are you anyway?
Amy Wong: Ahh, don't blame yourself, Bender.
Bender: I don't blame myself. I blame all of you!
Amy Wong: Us? How could you possibly blame us?
Bender: It ain't easy. It just proves how great I am.
Lars: [to Zapp Brannigan] Admiral, will we stop attacking at any point? Or is this one of those phony bologna feel-good wars like the War on Drugs?
Bender: Here's your Guttenberg Bible, masters, plus the Colonel's secret recipe: "Chicken, grease, salt".
Nibbler: Alas our kitten-class attack ships were no use for their mighty chairs. The universe is doomed! Doomed!
Fry: Can I pull up my pants now?
Fry: So my copy lived 12 years longer before Bender killed him? I wonder what his life was like.
Scruffy: Hmm, I guess we'll never know.
Zoidberg: Or *will* we?
Narrator: [to audience] *They* won't know! But you *will*! Lucky you!
Bender: [Bender falls out of sky, get's up, looks around] Awww, I lost him, people will call me a failure.
Bender: [notices Fry in the upstairs window of Panucci's Pizza] Others however will call me the World's Sexiest Killing Machine, that's fun at parties.
Turanga Munda: Our little girl is finally getting married, and to a normal two-eyed human.
Turanga Morris: Eh, he's not good enough for her. Leela deserves a guy with a dozen eyes.
Turanga Munda: Quit trying to fix her up with Fly Mutant!
Bender: Sweet photons. I don't know if you're waves or particles, but you go down smooth.
Dr. Shlavinowitz: Leelu is a rare toothed female narwhal who got disoriented and washed up in Atlantic City, as we all do from time to time.
Fry: That's it. I don't see how things could get any worse
Bender: We could sing.
Professor Farnsworth: I'd rather kill myself.
Amy Wong: Why not do both?
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, very well.
Bender: [the Professor displays an equaution] What do ya got there, numbers?
Bender: [entering a cab, driven by Al Gore] Follow that guy. Ther's an extra hundred in it for you, if you follow him that close that you run him over.