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13 user 4 critic

The Shadow Walkers (2006)

Shadow Walkers is a highly suspenseful story of a group of lab technicians and military personnel who awaken in a subterranean laboratory with no memory of who they are. They quickly ... See full summary »

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Cast

Credited cast:
...
Reeve
...
Julie
...
Clay
...
Leiko
...
Emily
...
Pierson (as Joseph McCambridge)
Tierza Scaccia ...
Serena
...
Primary Shadow Walker
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Katie Anhalt ...
Shadow Walker
Steven Brown ...
General's Aide
...
Amber
Steven J. Burge ...
Paul
Brian D. Cahill ...
Black Ops Team
Gary Carnes ...
Mortimer
Jewel Cavazos ...
Shadow Walker (as Jewel Lehman)
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Storyline

Shadow Walkers is a highly suspenseful story of a group of lab technicians and military personnel who awaken in a subterranean laboratory with no memory of who they are. They quickly discover that they are sealed in, with only one way to get out alive. They must travel deeper into the underground facility to an escape tunnel that leads to the surface. Hindered by the fact there is only limited electrical power, they struggle through the darkness where they uncover a hive of genetically mutated creatures that stalk them from the shadows. Bred for combat, these monsters are endowed with razor sharp talons and rows of jagged teeth capable of ripping a man apart. While avoiding danger at every turn, they begin to regain their memories, discovering the origin of the deadly creatures and the part they played in their creation. Written by Mostly Films LLC

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female nudity | See All (1) »

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Pray They Only Kill You

Genres:

Horror

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for violence and gore, language and brief sexuality
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27 September 2006 (USA)  »

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Did You Know?

Connections

References Jaws (1975) See more »

Soundtracks

Quartz
Written by Steve Hogarth, Steve Rothery, Ian Mosley, Mark Kelly,
Pete Trewavas
Performed by Marillion
Courtesy of Racket Records
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User Reviews

 
Horror SO bad you'll laugh - and that is possibly a great thing!
27 July 2008 | by (Ewing, New Jersey) – See all my reviews

Well I guess I'm a guy living in my mother's basement according to some "reviewer" (read 'writer' or 'director' or """actor""") because here I am to talk harshly about this film. To say that until you can write a plot and film a movie by yourself like these "filmmakers" did is laughable. Taking my friends to an abandon building after visiting a Halloween mask shop and taking whatever horrible digital videocamera I have and calling it "a movie" is possibly the worst injustice of all. To call this "filmmaking" is making even those who film Smokeless Ashtray commercials at 4AM sound bad.

My girlfriend picked this up at FYE last night and we threw it in the DVD player hoping for some cheesy horror fun. Were we wrong! When the one "reviewer" said this film was a work-in-progress I really hope the filmmakers will ship me a final version when they decide this POS is finished. The film really looks like it was shot with a $500 digital camcorder picked up at Circuit City with actors who aren't even laughingly bad. If this was pure cheese it would have been great but after laughing for about 15 minutes the joke wore thin. How long is this? 90 more minutes? The "plot" centers around a bunch of "scientists" who get locked in the bottom of a building with these mutated monsters - mutated by the Army in, well, horribly horribly bad "Army cameo." (I guess I can ring in on this having been in the Army for 12 years. Wait - let me guess - "it's low budget so what did you expect???") The big breasted females shed their white coats right away to show off their sexy Cami's and the guys mostly keep theirs on because I'm sure the low budget didn't pay for the guys to get their own sweet, silky Cami's. Almost as if reading off cue cards the main characters bicker at each other and I almost either laughed my ass off or busted a gut in sheer pain at the "acting." They start running from the Halloween masked mutated monsters with long finger nails as they try to evade death and...

And I don't know. I honestly couldn't make it through another second. We turned it off and put in something else, putting in something else - ANYTHING ELSE. What did I expect from this film??? I'm not bored with my life and trying to make myself feel better by writing here. I'm just shocked this cost $12 used. I'm harsh in my judgment only because the movie is so, so, so bad. So the actors, filmmakers, and such can come on here all you want and try to blast those who hated your film but get this - you made a HORRIBLE film.

Enjoy this fact. Get some friends and get some alcohol. Every time the film gets worse - DRINK. I think I'll invite some peeps over and try watching it that way. It'll be a lot more fun that way and we probably will be drunk eight minutes into the "film." Embrace the suck people cause this is certainly one of the worst films I've seen in a long, long time. Guess I'll be moving back in my mom's basement now! Time to move the boxes off that old moldy couch down there Mom!!!

UPDATE: I finally made it through the movie with a bunch of alcohol and a bunch of friends. It really was a stretch at 90 minutes but we actually had a GREAT time watching it. Is the film any different? No - it's still HORRIBLE. But it was a lot of fun watching the jock Army guy fight karate mutants with the 4 big-breasted scientists in tow. As a horror this is a HUGE failure - but as a Ed Wood-like comedy it was simply amazing and we had a GREAT time doing MST3K like dialogue along with drinking. We really decided that we want to do our own commentary to this film! Watch this with friends and with alcohol and this film bumps up from a one-star to a four-star like I'm doing right now. I am still planning to move back into my mother's basement any day now.


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