- Harrison Ford: [about making the first "Star Wars" movie] I did once say, "George, you can type this shit, but you can't say it!", and of course, that's the year he gets nominated for an Oscar for Best Screenplay. What do I know, right?
- George Lucas: [about Francis Ford Coppola] Before I met him, I couldn't write a word, and now I'm the King of Wooden Dialogue.
- Mark Hamill: I'm proud to be a part of film history... and a Pez dispenser, an electric toothbrush, and a pair of Underoos.
- George Lucas: In the end, I think I make movies because I have to. Movies are my life. If I wasn't making movies, I wouldn't be alive. I mean, I wouldn't know what to do.
- William Shatner: [being carried away by stormtroopers] Live long and prosper, George... well, live long, you've prospered enough!
- George Lucas: Children are the key to life, and the key to joy, and the key to happiness, and for teenagers, a key to a nervous breakdown.
- William Shatner: [to George Lucas] I envy you. I, I really, I really envy you. That hair, I just envy the hair. Is that a dominant gene?
- William Shatner: [performing "My Way" for George Lucas] Regrets, you've had a few.
- [pause]
- William Shatner: Anyone see Howard the Duck?
- [Stormtroopers come to take him away]
- William Shatner: No, no, the Sith picture, I love that. I love the Sith picture, it's a great Sith picture.
- Harrison Ford: [talking about his time working on the first three Indiana Jones films] As I hear it, Dustin wasn't available, De Niro wasn't interested.
- [gesturing to Warren Beatty in the audience]
- Harrison Ford: Beneath Warren. So... they threw me a bone.
- [audience laughs]
- Harrison Ford: Oh, lucky me. I've been up to my ass in snakes, waded through a sea of rats, got my knee crushed by a Flying Wing, all the while watching George and Steven *giggle* behind the camera. You would think a guy could take a hint.
- Harrison Ford: If you guys can think of more ways to torture me, I'll be there for Indy 4. But, George! Listen! Listen! GET ON WITH IT, MAN! If we wait around too much longer, Sean is going to be much too old to play my father!
- Steven Spielberg: [to Lucas] You have done more good for the collective consciousness of this planet than you will ever know.
- [conclusion of Harrison Ford's speech, as the John Williams music cue "The Throne Room" begins to play in the background]
- Harrison Ford: So, here we stand, time-tested, for you, George.
- [smiles, voice breaking]
- Harrison Ford: What a difference you've made in my life. I love you. Congratulations.
- Carrie Fisher: Hello, I'm Mrs. Han Solo and I'm an alcoholic.
- [audience laughs]
- Carrie Fisher: I'm an alcoholic because... George Lucas ruined my life.
- [audience laughs]
- Carrie Fisher: And I say that in the nicest possible way. 57 years ago, I did his little "Star Wars", a cult film that went on to redefine what they laughingly refer to as "the face of cinema". And now, 65 years later --
- [audience laughs]
- Carrie Fisher: -- people are still asking me if I knew it was going to be that big of a hit. Yes! We knew. We all knew. The only one who didn't know was George. We kept it from him because we wanted to see what his face looked like when it changed expression.
- [audience laughs]
- Carrie Fisher: George is a sadist.
- [audience laughs louder and longer]
- Carrie Fisher: But like any abused child wearing a metal bikini chained to a giant slug about to die, I keep coming back for more.
- [audience laughing and clapping]
- Carrie Fisher: Only a man = like George - could bring us whole new worlds populated by vivid extraordinary characters and providing Mark, Harrison and myself with enough fan mail and even a small merry band of stalkers --
- [audiences laughs uproariously]
- Carrie Fisher: it's lovely -- keeping us entertained for the rest of our unnatural lives. George, the fact that you made me into a little doll that my first husband could stick pins into... a shampoo bottle where people could twist off my head and pour liquid out of my neck! "Lather up with Leia and you'll feel like a princess yourself!" And yes, the little PEZ dispenser so when my daughter Billie could pull my head back and pull a wafer out of my neck every time she doesn't want to do her homework, I suppose I don't mind! And though amongst your many possessions you have owned my likeness, lo all these years so that every time I look in the mirror, I have to send you a check for a couple of bucks.
- [audience laughs]
- Carrie Fisher: Not to mention, you had the unmitigated gall to let *that chick*, the new girl who plays my mother, Queen "Armadillo" or whatever her name is. She wears a new hairstyle and outfit practically every time she walks through a door! I mean, I bet she even got to wear a bra, even though you told me I COULDN'T BECAUSE THERE WAS NO UNDERWEAR IN SPACE!
- [audience laughs]
- Carrie Fisher: I'm only slightly bitter because you, my formerly silent friend, are an extraordinary talent and let's face it, an artist! The likes of which is seen perhaps once in a generation who helps define that generation and who deserves every award I now spend the latter half of my Leia-laden life helping to hurl your way! AND IN CONCLUSION, YOUR HONOR!
- [audience laughs]
- Carrie Fisher: I HOPE I SLEPT WITH YOU TO GET THE JOB, BECAUSE IF NOT WHO THE HELL WAS THAT GUY?
- [audience laughs and applauds]
- [first lines]
- William Shatner: "Star Trek" changed everything.
- [audience laughs]
- William Shatner: And aren't these conventions wonderful, I mean...?
- [looks around, sees Star Wars posters everywhere in the room, pulls out letter from jacket pocket]
- William Shatner: "Mr. Shatner, we want you to open the show..."
- [mumbles to himself]
- William Shatner: Star WARS?
- [stormtroopers arrive on stage and try to take him away]
- William Shatner: Wait, wait, wait, wait! I can do Star Wars! I can do it!
- [the stormtroopers let him go but remain on the stage]
- William Shatner: George? It is George? May I call you George? Great. You can call me Mr. Shatner.
- Mark Hamill: And finally, I'd like to rewrite a note of encouragement you sent me after reading one of the first things I wrote that got published. The note was as straightforward, direct and economical as you always are. It read, in what I consider a sort-of George Lucas haiku, "Dear Mark. Nice job. Love, George."
- [audience laughs]
- Mark Hamill: I hereby reciprocate that sentiment, George, with a *slight* tweaking of the adjective: "Dear George. *Superb* job. Love, Mark."
- [performing "My Way" for George Lucas]
- William Shatner: You bit off more than you could Chew-bacca!
- [Chewbacca stands and yells at him from the audience]
- William Shatner: Aw, shut up!