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Stagknight is derived from the uncensored lusty straight-to-Drive-In horrors of the 70's and 80's, I Spit on your Grave, The Beast, Samurai Assisan, movies that spawned the mighty Evil Dead, American Werewolf in London, later Aliens. Set deep in dark mythical English woods Stagknight presents a uniquely stupid look at this genre through the cracked "Weekend Warriors" paintball team. This is mansville not boytown on a blow-out bachelor paintball weekender bender of dirty tricks, hot babes and truly splatter-tastic medieval kills to die for. Written by
Reading some of the other comments on this movie, I am flabbergasted that some people genuinely love this enough to rate it 10/10 and to praise it's appearance at some horror festival. It's drivel and it's unentertaining drivel. When a movie's highlight is it's opening title sequence you just know you're in trouble.
A bunch of lads are enjoying a stag weekend in some remote woods when they are tricked into resurrecting some long-dead knight templar and . . . . oh, I have no will to carry on describing this nonsense. Really.
The acting is terrible (Sandra Dickinson, what are you DOING in this pile of crap?), the script is about as poor as they come, the "humour" is about as funny as bowel cancer and there isn't even any gratuitous female nudity to satisfy genre fans at the most basic level. There are some gags revolving around urine, faeces and terrible Indian accents so I suppose a few Kevin & Perry fans may enjoy themselves. Oh, and it features a stupidly protracted piece of character confusion/hesitation near the end of the film in some appalling scenes that the director draws out interminably and seems to mistake for tense or thrilling.
There are one or two good moments of gore but they're so poorly shot as to be rendered redundant anyway. If you are after low-budget UK horror/splatter comedy then check out something like Evil Aliens by Jake West, Freak Out (not really a great movie but a lot better than this, and funnier) or even Hand Of Death Pt 25: Jackson's Back. Any of those movies are better than this one.
See this if you like: irredeemably bad movies, Sandra Dickinson, body function gags.
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