4.8/10
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11 user 12 critic

The Lives of the Saints (2006)

Mr Karva runs a shady little empire in North London. We don't know exactly how he makes his money but we know it's probably not very nice. Mr Karva's stepson, Othello, has ambitions to take... See full summary »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Mr. Karva
...
Othello
Emma Pierson ...
Tina
...
Emilio
Sam MacLintock ...
The Child
Daon Broni ...
Roadrunner
Gillian Kearney ...
Christella
...
Father Daniel
James Cook ...
Twin Boy I
Jude Cook ...
Twin Boy II
Paddy Fletcher ...
Drunk / Michali
Stella Quilley ...
Granny
Renu Setna ...
Maqsood Senior
...
Maqsood Junior
Josh Cole ...
Bookie
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Storyline

Mr Karva runs a shady little empire in North London. We don't know exactly how he makes his money but we know it's probably not very nice. Mr Karva's stepson, Othello, has ambitions to take the old man's place; and Othello's fainthearted friend, Emilio, has ambitions of his own. This delicate balance of power is upset when Roadrunner finds a strange, sickly-looking 10 year old boy in the park. All his life, Roadrunner has been on the move - but when he looks into the child's eyes, he finds he can finally stop running. It becomes clear that the child can grant each character their own taste of heaven - the 'perfect, rosy future of your dreams'. The child never talks but transforms the world around him, working on the desire in each character's heart, whatever it may be. Othello wins every bet he makes; Christella finds a new son to replace the baby she lost; Mr. Karva achieves his elusive orgasm and Father Daniel is finally able to express his own secret passions. But nothing ever ... Written by Dazed Film & TV

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Genres:

Comedy | Drama

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated PG-13 for mature thematic material, sexual content including images of an assault, violence, drug use and some strong language | See all certifications »
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Details

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Release Date:

26 January 2007 (UK)  »

Company Credits

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Technical Specs

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Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
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Did You Know?

Soundtracks

I, Yi, Yi, Yi, Yi (I Like You Very Much)
Written by Harry Warren & Mack Gordon
Performed by Carmen Miranda
Appears courtesy of EMI Records Ltd
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User Reviews

 
Oh dear
8 February 2007 | by (United Kingdom) – See all my reviews

Without question, the worst film I've seen for a long while. I endured to the end because surely there must be something here, but no. The plot, when not dealing in clichés, rambles to the point of non-existence; dialogue that is supposed to be street is simply hackneyed; characters never develop beyond sketches; set-pieces are clichéd. Worse, considering its co-director, the photography is only so-so.

Comments elsewhere that elevate this alongside Get Carter, Long Good Friday or Kaspar Hauser are way way off the mark; Lives of the Saints lacks their innovation let alone their depth and shading. In short, their craft. A ruthless editor could probably trim it down to a decent 30-minute short, but as it stands it's a 6th form film project realised on a million-pound scale; rambling and bloated with its own pretensions. That it received funding (surely only because of Rankin's name) while other small films struggle for cash is depressing for the British film industry.


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