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Joshua and the Promised Land (2004)

TV Movie  -   -  Animation  -  1 November 2004 (USA)
6.7
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Ratings: 6.7/10 from 7 users  
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Young Joshua Carter has a visit from a guardian angel, who takes him on an adventure into the heart of the Old Testament, where he lives out the life of the real Joshua - from the crossing ... See full summary »

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Title: Joshua and the Promised Land (TV Movie 2004)

Joshua and the Promised Land (TV Movie 2004) on IMDb 6.7/10

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Cast

Credited cast:
Gail Archer ...
Joshua's Mom (voice)
Chaim Dauermann ...
Additional voices (voice)
Jonathan Dauermann ...
Naomi Dauermann ...
Additional voices (voice)
Josef Gatling ...
King of Jericho (voice)
Harland Greene ...
Moses (voice)
Vikki James ...
Additional voices (voice)
...
Narrator (voice)
Jon Mozenda ...
Captain Scarface (voice)
Kerry Orrman ...
Chris, Joshua's Dad (voice)
Nick Vetter ...
God (voice)
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Storyline

Young Joshua Carter has a visit from a guardian angel, who takes him on an adventure into the heart of the Old Testament, where he lives out the life of the real Joshua - from the crossing of the Red Sea, through the Wilderness and into the Promised Land. Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

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A young lion learns about courage by living out the life of the Biblical Joshua

Genres:

Animation

Certificate:

Not Rated
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Details

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Release Date:

1 November 2004 (USA)  »

Box Office

Budget:

$350,000 (estimated)
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Technical Specs

Color:

Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
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User Reviews

 
no pls
25 March 2014 | by See all my reviews

I only heard about this movie less than a few minutes prior to writing this review. I didn't watch the entire movie. I intend to when I work up the courage, but I just couldn't watch the movie. "Bad" isn't a strong enough adjective to describe this film, if you want to even call it that.

First of all, the textures on the 3D models are just made up of one color each. The eyes have the most amount of detail, and all they are is just a black circle inside a colored circle surrounded by white. No creativity used whatsoever. The models don't even look like what they're supposed to. Same situation with the textures, there's no detail used.

Secondly, does Jim Lion know how movement works? The walk cycles make the characters look like they're boppin' to a pop song playing in their heads. The fire doesn't work like fire. The water doesn't work like water. The horse walk cycle, the flying segments, the lip syncing, the emotions, everything.

Lastly, the actors have no talent. But hey, the whole Dauermann family is here, so I'm going to assume that "talent" wasn't a high priority for them, but "family friend" was.

By now, you might be asking "how the hell do you mess something like this up so bad?". It might be because Jim Lion, the director, writer, narrator, editor and producer, was also the only animator. Seriously. Right about now I'd like to think that this is a college project that accidentally made it onto DVD instead of a possibly better movie. But no, this is real. Welcome to hell, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, but that's not even the biggest surprise; this took four years to make. And this was the best outcome.

This movie is like an aborted film. Everything about it is awful and, despite being a fan of hilariously awful movies, this is going to be tough for me to sit through. Honestly, the animation is enough to give me nightmares for months.

Give this movie a miss unless you truly can handle it.


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