Paco Bell: America isn't ready to accept a gay Mexican chicken sandwich.
Arbie: They are very slowly approaching the entrance!
Micki: They'll break through faster than the five minutes it took me to turn Wendy into a full blown lesbian!
Arbie: Damn it! Well we need action before they turn the glass into lesbians!
Humus: The chicken... the chicken has declared jihad on us all.
Humus: [Looks at the blood covered walls] That reminds me. I need a tampon.
Protestor: General, what are these tiny little bumps all over my chicken?
The General: [thinking fast] Uh... those are our new... Flavor Pods!
General Lee Roy: And for the record, having a diaper fetish is a completely normal, healthy, and harmless bedroom activity.
Arbie: Carl Junior, it's me, Arbie. I know somewhere deep within the bowels of this creature you've become lives the soul of the beautiful racist, animal-fucking, inbred trailer-thrash I know and love.
Arbie: You just won the contest.
Chicken Denny: What contest?
Arbie: The wet t-shirt contest, motherfucker!
The General: Oh, it's just as my old grandpapa used to say: "Hey junior, get over here with them matches! This cross ain't gonna burn itself!"
Wendy: I'm sorry Arbie, but how could I ever love someone that wants me to eat cock?
Denny: You know they always say you can tell the size of a cock by standing down from its beak all the way to its tailfeathers.
Chicken Zombie: I know it's fattening, but I love the skin.
Arbie: Say, where did you get this gun?
Mature Arbie: I've got a whole stash of them here. I keep them hidden here with the childrens' promotional items. I was going to be an alienated employee who kept to himself and then went on a murderous rampage this afternoon.
Carl Jr.: Would you look at the size of my woodpecker.
[Directing everyone to look at his penis at the end of the mop handle that is shoved through his rectum]
Crazy Ron: You fools! This restaurant was built on anicent Tromahawk tribe sacred burial ground! Get out of here while you still can! Get out! Save yourselves! Save yourselves!
[changing his tone]
Crazy Ron: And... Uh, I'll have one Sloppy Jose value meal.