Memorable quotes for
Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006) More at IMDbPro »

Larry: You're not gonna believe this, but there's a snow cone vendor out there not wearing a bra.
Amy Butlin: Is that a violation?
Larry: No, but it makes me want to get a snow cone.

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Larry: Hey, what's going on Donnie?
Donnie: Hey, Larry. You wanna play?
Larry: You know what? I can't. I'm late and I gotta get something to eat. My boss is a dickweed.
Donnie: Dickweed. Dickweed. Dickweed!

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Larry: [after the dinner date, and Larry has to go to the bathroom. He then lets off a large amount of turds] Oh, Good Lord! Oh, Jesus Christ and his sheperds!
[lets off more of his turds into the toilet]
Jane Whitley: Larry? Are you okay in there?
Larry: [yelling] Oh, yeah! Everythin's alright!
[to himself]
Larry: Oh, Good Lord!
[trying to get toilet paper, but it runs short]
Larry: Oh, God! You gotta be kiddin' me!
[sees a wash rag on the sink, then grabs it, he then begins to wipe his rear-end]

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Larry: On one hand, Kid Rock wants to take me fishing. On the other, I have Jane, who's a real woman, who wants to get naked with me in a biblical way.

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Jane Whitley: Nice Rod, Larry.
Larry: [to himself] She said "Rod."

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Amy Butlin: Damn it, I am a woman. I have breasts! They may not be especially large, but they're perky, and my nipples could cut glass!

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Larry: I drive alone. I inspect alone, sometimes I'll even have sex alone. But never on company time. That's my policy.

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Larry: You ever fart so hard your back cracks?

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[after farting]
Larry: Good Lord Jesus and Dale Earnhardt Jr., I am a dadgum time bomb.

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Larry: Hey, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I gotta take the Browns to the Super Bowl.

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Amy Butlin: After lunch today, he told me there was a brown snake playing peek-a-boo with his butthole. I aced Bio. I do not recall brown snakes.

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Larry: Ms. Macechelli was dilling his pickle
Jane Whitley: Dilling his pickle?
Larry: Chucking his corn.
Amy Butlin: Chucking his corn?
Larry: Trimming his tree.
Jane Whitley: Trimming his tree?
Larry: Branching his limb.
Amy Butlin: Branching his limb?
Larry: Oh, I can do this all day.

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Larry: That'll go down faster than a bottle of Vicodin at Courtney Love's house.

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Larry: She was so ugly, she coulda trick or treated over the telephone.

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Larry: He's going down faster than a bottle of vodka in Courtney Love's house.

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Larry: [Jane farts] Ooh, I bet that left a mark.
[Jane farts louder]
Larry: Sounds like you got something honking for the right of way.

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