The Insatiable (2007)

User Rating:

5.6/10   

Directors:

Chuck Konzelman
Cary Solomon

Writers (WGA):

Cary Solomon (written by) &
Chuck Konzelman (written by) ...

Genre:

Comedy | Horror | Romance | Thriller

Tagline:

What if you were in love with something evil?

Plot:

A drab, run-of-the-mill guy witnesses a vampiress devour a bum and becomes so infatuated with her, he tracks her down and traps her in a basement so she can't kill again.

Plot Keywords:

Vampire | Beautiful Woman | Detective | Murder | Independent Film

Cast

Sean Patrick Flanery	...	Harry Balbo
Michael Biehn	...	Strickland
Charlotte Ayanna	...	Tatiana
Jon Huertas	...	Javier
Josh Hopkins	...	Chet
Boyd Kestner	...	Detective Michael Loper
Brad Rowe	...	Ronnie Klein
Amanda Noret	...	Cindi
Tiya Sircar	...	Lisa
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Sandra Brooks	...	Pet Store Clerk (as Sandra Giajewski)
GiGi Erneta	...	Female Detective
Debbi Larkins	...	Girl #1
Andrea Lee	...	Crime Scene Photographer
Natalia MacLeod	...	Dream on Babe
Melinda Marroquin	...	CSI Agent
Marcus Sexton	...	Hardware Store Clerk
Nicole Taylor	...	Morphing Tatiana (as Nicole Lin Taylor)

Runtime:

103 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1

Certification:

Australia:M

Filming Locations:

Austin, Texas, USA

Company:

Animation House

Goofs:

Revealing mistakes: When the Vampire pulls Javier through the bars, he fits easily, therefore, the Vampire should have been able to escape at any time. Also, when he is being pulled through, his hand "bends" the bars slightly, showing that they are not as hard as thought.

Quotes:

Strickland: And in most cases, vampires are easier to track than serial killers.
Harry Balbo: Why is that?
Strickland: Well, they rarely drive... and they have to be home by dawn.

Movie Connections:

Features Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922)

Soundtrack:

Getting Closer

A new low in vampire movies

The vampire genre has got the be most abused genre in movie making. Movie makers just have no clue about what to do with it. When was the last time anyone made a great vampire flick? The latest catastrophe is The Insatiable. Marketed as some erotic horror movie it turns out to be a dull comedic romance, which is neither funny nor romantic. There is a lot of the awful Tarantino-esquire self-conscious direction and (mis)use of music to make things lighthearted. The story centers around a depressed loner loser (bad idea #1) who witnesses a vampire crime. Seen as a crazy guy or perpetrator by the police he takes matters into his own hands going online in search of help. He finds a reluctant vampire hunter with whom he chats online for long times (bad idea #2, people typing on keyboards is never interesting in a movie). He sets out to kill the vampire but being unable to do so chooses to take her captive in a cage in his basement. So most of the action/ interaction will take place between the main characters talking in a basement (bad idea #3). This is a looong, boring, Z-budget movie but with good production values. It's "not rated" but if it were, it's rating would be PG-13. Don't expect a gore fest or lots of sex and nudity- that's just the marketing trick applied to the title. We are told the vampire is insatiable but we have to take the character's words for it because we see no evidence of it. There's one two-second sex-in-clothes scene. Only in American movies do people have sex while clothed. Pretty soon you notice that the story isn't going to go anywhere. The male lead is sympathetic and likable but overacted as is one of his coworkers who plays the funny jerk non-stop. What keeps this movie from being a complete narcotic is the vampire who is a beautiful girl. There's also an attractive neighbor. Pretty but underused girls. The script shows some signs of intelligence here and there. The ending is "good" but given that the rest of the movie is so bad and one has absolutely no hopes or expectations that things will improve, any ending where something, anything happens, would have been good. We are told this thing was filmed in Austin although the only evidence that it wasn't filmed in California is that the girls have gorgeous hair, unlike the lifeless hair of lazy California girls. I was thinking it was filmed in Canada since it's so good natured and dull. Why it takes two directors to film this is a mystery. Half a director could have done it on a weekend. The credits mention a 'behind the scenes' director. Funny, there are no Behind the Scenes in the Special Feautures. In fact there are no extras on this DVD. A shame, any additional screen time of the girls would could have helped. Stay away from this mess.