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Rail Kings (2005)

Video  -  Action  -  22 March 2005 (USA)
6.5
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An irresponsible preppie, Preston West, is presumed to have murdered his parents for a sizable inheritance, so he flees to find the real killer, Phantom 13, a crazed freight train hobo. ... See full summary »

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Title: Rail Kings (Video 2005)

Rail Kings (Video 2005) on IMDb 6.5/10

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Credited cast:
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W.M. Comartin ...
Bobb Hopkins ...
Chet Hopkins ...
Courtney Hopkins ...
Erika Hopkins ...
Tommy Hopkins ...
Ernie Mendoza ...
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Scott Schell ...
Rob Spediacci ...
Tommy Strong ...
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An irresponsible preppie, Preston West, is presumed to have murdered his parents for a sizable inheritance, so he flees to find the real killer, Phantom 13, a crazed freight train hobo. Riding speeding boxcars, Preston encounters hostile train yards, vicious railroad cops, hidden hobo jungles, mysterious Lacy, the notorious Baron and his colorful Hobo Gang. In a surprise ending, Preston finally confronts Phantom 13. Written by Anonymous

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22 March 2005 (USA)  »

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Train, Train
Performed by Blackfoot
(incorrectly credited as Molly Hatchet in the closing credits)
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Laughably bad
21 May 2009 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

Whoa, this is one of the worst films I have ever seen.

For starters, Ernest Borgnine has all of about four minutes in this film as the lovable old hobo "Steamtrain" - and that's it. (An interesting reversal of roles from "Emperor of the North Pole," where he played a railroad bull - an implacable enemy of hobos.) So don't be fooled; this is by no means an Ernest Borgnine film.

The production looks like it was shot on a consumer grade DV camera, the plot has holes big enough to drive, well, freight trains through, and the acting is frequently bad. There are all sorts of odd gaffes and inept musical cues... and I find it very, very hard to believe that the big name rock bands whose music was used in this actually granted their permission.

I suspect that this film was made for hobos about hobos by hobos - and if any of them are murderous enough to kill me for panning this film, well, then, so be it - at least there's no chance of my ever having to endure "Rail Kings" again.


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