Horror Business (2005) (V)

Director:

Christopher P. Garetano

Writer:

Christopher P. Garetano (writer)

Release Date:

2005 (USA)

Genre:

Documentary

Tagline:

Moviemaking is no way to spend a life.

Cast

Ray Adell	...	Narrator
Jennifer Atkins	...	Herself
Ron Atkins	...	Himself
John Bloom	...	Himself
Mark Borchardt	...	Himself
Monica Borchardt	...	Herself
Suzanne Borchardt	...	Herself
John Brodie	...	Himself
Tracy Coogan	...	Herself
Tonya Cornelisse	...	Herself
David Gebroe	...	Himself
John Giancaspro	...	Himself
John Goras	...	Himself
Sid Haig	...	Himself
Lloyd Kaufman	...	Himself
Michael Lally	...	Camera Boy
Ryan Lally	...	Zombie Boy
Garvin Lee	...	Himself (as Garven Lee)
Herschell Gordon Lewis	...	Himself
Caitlyn Mihnovich	...	Cemetery Girl
Christina Reilly	...	Herself
Dan Resha	...	Himself
Graham Sibley	...	Himself
Brian Singleton	...	Himself
David Stagnari	...	Himself
Tate Steinsiek	...	Himself
Alicia Torres	...	Herself

Runtime:

USA:82 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Filming Locations:

Las Vegas, Nevada, USA

Company:

FortuneTeller Films

Movie Connections:

References The Eiger Sanction (1975)

A movie about those who will never make it in the horror film business

"If you give a monkey a camera, it will go out there and shoot something" – Ron Atkins

A fitting statement from one of the featured subjects in Horror Business, a documentary on the horror film industry that has a lot of monkeys with cameras, but very few filmmakers. One doesn't have to be part of mainstream Hollywood to be considered a director, but most of the no-talent hacks showcased within this movie are shooting stuff at the level and with the same amount of care as a high school student shooting their English Media project. There are a few small appearances from accomplished filmmakers involved in the horror business, such as H.G Lewis, Sid Haig and Lloyd Kaufman, but for the most part the featured "directors" don't stand the slightest chance of ever making it in the horror business this film professes to be about.

The one exception is David Stagnari, an avid horror fanatic that is attempting to jump start a career as a director with his short film "Catharsis". Stagnari is a person a lot of horror fans could easily relate to; a fan since he was a small child, Stagnari intelligently discusses the state of the genre today, what he wants to accomplish as a director and reminisces of his past experiences watching double-features at a drive-in, which has now been paved over and replaced by a "Babies R' Us". The last is something that may strike a chord in many horror fans, as in today's day and age, repertory theaters and drive-ins, the last solace for audiences seeking independent cinema, are being driven out of business by major conglomerates like AMC and Regal. Although only a few clips of "Catharsis" are shown throughout Horror Business, you can tell that even though Stagnari will probably never break it big, due to the nature of the film industry, he is at least trying to create something of substance.

On the other end of the spectrum, we have Ron Atkins, a pretentious d-bag (excuse my unprofessional terminology, but it's the most accurate description of the man) who doesn't even try to make anything remotely worth watching. Armed with a consumer camera, Atkins shoots his films without the aid of lighting, a crew, a tri-pod, a script or most importantly, a brain. Throughout the shooting of his cruddy exploitation flicks, he throws in random story lines, such as Dick Cheney taking a dog in the rear, and then begins to laugh profusely at his own terrible attempts at humor. His views that what moviegoers think of his films doesn't matter as long as he enjoys them are despicable and represent everything wrong with the film industry today, but his wife's reasoning that anyone who dislikes Atkins movies actually enjoys them, doesn't even make the least bit of sense. Atkinson even has the gall to begin trashing Hollywood films. Even the average J-horror remake has more talent, work and heart behind it. As well as absent film-making skills, Atkins also has anger issues (he cusses out a teenage Burger King employee) and a tendency to lie, one example being his claim that he's sold over 30,000 copies of his movies. Considering that none of his films have over 80 votes on IMDb, I find this hard to believe, although there is the small chance that his parents have purchased 29,900 copies of his films.

The rest of the filmmakers fall somewhere in between the two: not entirely as terrible as Atkins, but none as likable as Stagnari. There's an alcoholic who chooses his cameraman a few minutes before his shoot, two full grown men still living at home and producing schlock on par with Atkins and an animator who specializes in cheap flash animation. It's about as far from the horror business as you can get. This doesn't mean that Horror Business had to be a complete failure: if the documentary had focused on the pitfalls of the various directors and what holds them back, it could've worked. As it stands, Horror Business seems unfocused. There's no message, no story arc, no apparent point behind the film; it consists of interviews and behind the scenes set footage, stuff that would make a great special feature on a DVD, but isn't sufficient or substantial enough for a film of its own. It's interesting, but it never feels like a movie. That's the real problem with Horror Business: not that it focuses on people so far outside of the horror business, but that it doesn't know what to do with them or how to create a compelling story revolving around them.

- dyl_gon (allhorrorfilms.com)