In the ironically named city of Paradise, a recently laid-off loser teams up with his cult-leading uncle to steal a peculiar bounty of riches from their local amusement park; somehow, the recently arrived Taliban have a similar focus, but a far more sinister intent.
An modern-day assassin, wanting out, is hired for one final job - to kidnap the kids of a local businessman. Things go haywire when it turns out he's chosen to return to the Middle Ages and bring back order to a kingdom in chaos.
Jim, an average New Yorker, lives with a sick but loving wife. Suddenly, everything changes when the economy crashes and causes him to lose everything. Filled with anger and rage, Jim goes to seek revenge for the life taken from him.
Controversial director Uwe Boll depicts the harsh reality of the process inside one of the most infamous Nazi death camps by using brutally realistic imagery. Book-ended by documentary ... See full summary »
Rayne fights against the Nazis in Europe during World War II, encountering Ekart Brand, a Nazi leader whose target is to inject Adolf Hitler with Rayne's blood in an attempt to transform ... See full summary »
Set in the kingdom of Ehb, the story follows Farmer (Jason Statham), who was adopted by his village. When Farmer's wife, Solana (Claire Forlani), and his son leave to sell vegetables at the town of Stonebridge, Farmer's farm is attacked by creatures called Krugs. With the help of his friend and neighbor Norrick (Ron Perlman), he travels to Stonebridge where his wife and son are. Before he arrives, the Krugs, controlled by the wizard Gallian (Ray Liotta), kill his son and capture his wife. Farmer, with the help of Bastian (Will Sanderson), his brother-in-law, and Norrick sets out to find and rescue his wife. The King's nephew Fallow (Matthew Lillard) is conspiring with the wizard Gallian to take over the kingdom led by King Konreid ('Burt Reynolds'). Written by
btphelps and others
The "medicine" Merick gives Farmer was actually tea mixed with ketchup. Uwe Boll purposely concocted the mixture to get a disgusted reaction from Jason Statham. See more »
At the beginning of the battle in the woods, the archers are commanded "Fire!" The correct command is "Loose!" See more »
I knew you'd come.
I told you I would.
I mean, I felt it. I felt it before you came.
You are developing your powers well, Muriella. Our time together is paying off!
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OK, first off, all of the glowing, gushing reviews here were obviously (OBVIOUSLY) planted by someone doing PR for the film (which is shameful in and of itself). There is no way that anyone sane would think this movie was anything more than laughable tripe.
I saw it at a preview, and have to say that I was expecting much more. I didn't realize that Ewe Boll was directing, otherwise I would have skipped it altogether (he should never be allowed near a camera, ever). However, I like nearly every star, enjoy the genre and have been a big fan of the video games for years now, so I figured that this would be worth seeing (nothing will ever compare to LOTR, but it sounded promising).
So yeah, there's not much I can say that hasn't been said here already. Horrible dialog, two-dimensional characters, lousy cinematography, cheesy effects and a plot which is nearly impossible to care about makes this one worth skipping.
Seriously, don't pay to see this. It will only encourage them to give Ewe more projects.
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