Squidbillies (2005–2021)

Todd Hanson: Dan Halen

Quotes 

• Dan Halen : And what about your work ethic?

  Earlie Cuyler : I don't think ethnics do no work, I mean that's they problem really. If you ain't like me go hang from a damn tree.

  Dan Halen : Overt racial prejudice. Impressive.

• Dan Halen : Good work, Denny. You've arrested a fish... and your car.

  Denny (misshapen Sheriff clone) : Mmmhmm. Yep, I done it. Thank you.

  Dan Halen : Any reason?

  Denny (misshapen Sheriff clone) : Suspicion, collusion... That that car goin' use that wide mouth bass goin' turn into a robot. Probably.

  Dan Halen : Denny, I highly doubt that. But, if that's how you choose to spend your weekend.

  Denny (misshapen Sheriff clone) : I reckon I do. I'm the law. Tell 'em I done whittle this down to get that piece of corn out of my teeth that's been buggin me for two weeks.

  Dan Halen : Very impressive. Do you see that cloud outside?

  [indicating poisonous cloud killing the townspeople] 

  Dan Halen : .

  Denny (misshapen Sheriff clone) : Yeah-huh.

  Dan Halen : Direct traffic into it.

• Dan Halen : Another dead baby? Sue the parents!