|Index||3 reviews in total|
This movie is a total waste of time. I can't in good conscience recommend this movie to people I even hate. It starts out as a documentary showing several disasters but not displaying anything graphic. This movie tries in vain to be something intelligent. The movie attempts to fool the viewer,that he or she is watching something akin to the Faces of Death movie series. No one dies, no one cries(but me for watching this movie)and it doesn't even make sense. Nothing in the movie relates to the title. There is a scene where Marilyn Monroe is playing with an apple(10 min worth). How does that relate to the title? There is some weird music(composed of about 5 notes that are continuously playing through the whole movie) that continues to play for 15 minutes after the ending credits are played. Worst movie of all time in my viewing movie experience.
Absolutely worthless, this black hole of a video is high generation,
black-and-white stock footage of car crashes, crime scenes, train
wrecks, and a Marilyn Monroe lookalike rubbing her tits with an apple,
in a stag reel from 1948. How is any of that "torture"? It seems like
the nutjob who made this thing intended to rip off Faces Of Death,
without having ever watched it, and lost interest in ripping it off,
and then added unrelated stock footage, and his own
stream-of-consciousness narration, which is more chilling than anything
shown in this video.
The narrator, Larry Fox, is possibly the only person on Earth more of a loser than his brother Damon, except Larry did not add a lengthy and wholly fraudulent bio to his IMDb page. Larry doesn't really introduce or narrate the segments, so much as he just talks over them, and occasionally sings his way through them. "Tor - ture, tor - ture, ... Torture me!" he sings at one point, before, I hope, someone did in fact torture him. Seriously deranged stuff here, and not amusingly so. Breathing heavilly, Larry sounds like he is shivering while masturbating in a closet, and doesn't want his mommy, or his psychiatrist, to hear him in the next room. This fruitcake is probably in a mental hospital somewhere.
Cheesy synthesizer music is played throughout, along with a shot of a disembodied hand with a cardboard knife allegedly stuck through it, used to segue from one sequence to another, shown many times.
Released as part of an eight-hour video, containing other similar titles, in a generic plain white box, with its title printed on it by use of a label-maker!
Also released (somehow) in a plain black box, with different credits listed than what is displayed on-screen: Directed by Count Wolfgang Von Bloodworth, Narrated by Morticia Toom, Screenplay by Norman Tates, Produced by Federick Gore III. The box also listed the run time as 83 minutes, but it was about 70 minutes long.
A couple of those (obviously fake) names are similar to the credits for the similar Death Faces IV, also released straight-to-video in 1988. Were both videos put out by the same people? And why? For what purpose was something like this even made and released, the people responsible for it can't possibly have made any money from it?
Not even good for unintended laughs, this video is more torture than anything depicted in it.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I saw Faces of Torture about a dozen years ago. It was like a history
channel show produced by paranoid schizophrenics.
It consists mainly of grainy black and white stock footage of old disasters and other decrepit stuff with rambling commentary by some deranged hick!
Along the way we're treated to the phony Marilyn Monroe stag loop of a lookalike rubbing and bouncing apples against her breasts.
Then "James Dean was tortured..." the hick says casually. "His face was tortured." Then we see a flash image of a hand with a nail through it and shock music followed by Dean making his infamous public service announcement on driving safely.
The hand is repeated several times throughout the movie.
Sometime later we get to hear the hick sing a song, "Sparkey Drives The Tracter Of Torture". I Sh*t you not!
At the end his ranting becomes more intense as he asks the audience, "Are you going to drink the Kool Aid?" and something to the effect of "Are you going to let the people in this footage die in vain?" My answer: yes and yes.
I'm giving it an extra star for sheer audacity.
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