Mastodon (band): [lyrics to opening song about movie theater etiquette] Don't talk, watch! Don't talk, watch! You came here. Watch it. Don't like it? Walk out. We still have all your fucking money. Do not nudge, kick or jiggle the seat in front of you. I'm sitting there! I am everywhere at once and I will cut you up. If you make out here, I will cut your lips and tongue from your head with a linoleum knife. Do not explain the plot. If you don't understand, then you should not be here. Your money is now our money and we will spend it on drugs. Do not crinkle your food wrappers loudly. Be considerate to others, or I will bite your torso and give you a disease. Did you bring your baby? Babies don't watch this. Take the seed outside. Leave it in the streets. Run over it after the show. If I see you videotaping this movie, Satan will rain down your throat with hot acid and dissolve your testicles and turn your guts into snakes. This is copyrighted movie for Time Warner. If I find that you've sold it on eBay, I will break into your house and tear your wife in half.
Ignignokt: Err, if you want to achieve in this life, you must set your goals higher.
Err: I'm already pretty high.
Ignignokt: And so am I.
Ignignokt: Digital gold cascades from my square bladder.
Frylock: Oh what, you've never seen a bra before?
Master Shake: Not with the BOOB MEAT inside of it!
Oglethorpe: The only thing bull semen has ever done for me is activate my gag reflex.
Time Lincoln: Haha! No one will catch Time Lincoln!
CIA Agent #1: Quick shoot before he transports!
Time Lincoln: NO ONE EVER!
CIA Agent #2: Oh great. You just had to shoot didn't you, way to change the future.
CIA Agent #1: What do you mean?
[pans out to show the two CIA agents pulling a cart for an African-American plantation owner]
Plantation Owner: Pull, whitey, PULL!
Space Ghost: *sniff sniff*, I am just... I am smellin' a missile.
[pauses at Zorak]
Space Ghost: Naa, there's, there's no way!
Space Ghost: Greetings! I'm Space Gh-
[Space Ghost is impaled by Weird's missile and blown up]
Meatwad: [upon seeing Carl's body ripped from his skeleton] Oh my God, Carl!
Meatwad: Where did you get that lollipop?
Insane-O-Flex: I like your booty, but I'm not gay!
Master Shake: Now this square is the... man.
Master Shake: This circle here, that's a uterus.
Meatwad: That's what it looks like?
Master Shake: Up close yes this is lifelike drawing of the uterus. See the guy takes the car after his job to pick up the uterus at her house...
Master Shake: because she doesn't work unless she's sweeping up something.
Meatwad: Wel... and where do they go?
Master Shake: All the way... to a hotel... which definitely has cable... and that's where this trapezoid becomes hmm shall we say... hahaha entangled with the exposed and aerated crotches.
Meatwad: And that there is the exposed crotches?
Master Shake: I told you that's the chair and the spatula.
Meatwad: I knew it.
Master Shake: Congratulate yourself my friend... you have just been laid.
Meatwad: Ooh... that feels good.
Master Shake: Yeah, I never tire of it.
Ignignokt: Thank you, Err. What was that thick shake?
Err: Well, now I'll tell you what it is. It's mayonnaise I found in the trash can!
Ignignokt: [throws up]
Err: And it had hair in it! And you drank it! 'Cause I'm your doctor! Do what I say!
Dr. Weird: [in his flat, banging on wall] Randy! Turn your fucking stereo down!
Soda Dog Refreshment Squad: It's a groovy time for a movie time / So grab your gal, and grab a seat / But don't forget to get something to eat / Delicious meat, a nutritious meat / You can't beat my meat for a special treat / Sucking on me is really neat / Don't be a jerk and don't be a fool / Be a good neighbor and follow these rules / What are these rules? / Remember to keep your shoes on at all times / Don't pull your penis out unless you really need to / Indecent exposure is a Class 2 felony...
Oglethorpe: Everybody, make out and kiss hard! LIKE YOU MEAN IT!
Ignignokt: Welcome home, baby! I say this to all of your things, for this is a robbery.
Frylock: I don't know where we came from.
[pulls out a shotgun]
Frylock: But I know how we're going to die!
[to a creaturezoid in a tank of water]
Master Shake: What's a matter? Too faggy to come and get me?
[creaturezoid gets angry and starts pounding against the tank]
Dr. Weird: My father *built* this castle! He said Weirds would live here for a thousand years! And now it's being turned into fucking lofts!
Master Shake: And so Frylock is with us... in a manner of speaking... but he would never recover his smartness. That's why I have to cut up his food for him.
[Frylock has died]
Time Lincoln: You know, I don't advertise this, but I can bring him back to life.
Master Shake: Ha ha! Yeah right! I bet you can't!
Time Lincoln: Oh yeah? How much you wanna bet, bro?
Master Shake: [after beating on the Insanoflex egg with a crowbar which has hatched a baby Insanoflex] See, I get shit done!
Frylock: Shake, not all women are into muscles.
Master Shake: Well, the beautiful ones are. The ones in Miami.
[Meatwad is putting on a rock concert in the front yard]
Meatwad: [pointing to his dolls] And we got all these in tune, right? Tell me these are in tune.
Frylock: Yeah... they're dolls.
Meatwad: Well, shoot... are they in tune?
Carl Brutananadilewski: Linda, I care about you. And I respect you. So where, uh, where am I gonna do ya?
Mastodon (band): [singing] Be considerate to others, or I will bite your torso and give you a disease!
Cybernetic Ghost: [attempting to distract Aqua Teens] Thousands of years ago I ran for treasurer of student council
[Frylock slams door]
Cybernetic Ghost: . It involved a lot of hard work! We decorated many cookies. We spent all night putting up green frosting and then we drew up many posters but the principle called me down to her office and informed me that I had violated election rules...
Carl Brutananadilewski: [walking over] Yah thousands of years ago I kicked your ass... and I'm going to do it again right now!
Cybernetic Ghost: That is what Sister Margaret kept telling me if I displayed my physically agenda in her bathroom
[Carl whacks off Ghost's head with Tire Iron]
Ignignokt: No, my nutrients! You must retrieve them for me at once!
Ignignokt: My nutrients! Retrieve them at once, they have escaped!
Meatwad: [flexing] Show me how to get some pythons like... Chief Wahoo McDaniel.