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11 out of 14 people found the following review useful:

Kind of campy. Not the best writing. Lawless is wonderful.

7/10
Author: verybentlady from United States
6 August 2005

I gave this movie 7 out of ten stars, only because of the performance of Lawless. The script wasn't the best to work with, but she is a professional, and managed to pull it off quite well.

Still, if your not a fan of Lawless, you'll probably not appreciate this movie. (Like I say, not the best script. But does anyone have any business expecting much from a made-for-TV movie?)

The first reviewer actually said that Hollywood needs to adopt a Xenaphobic(!) policy. As an adult, I know the difference between an actress and the character she portrays. It is unfortunate that some of the others who claim to be adults while reviewing work on this site do not.

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11 out of 14 people found the following review useful:

Not that bad if you weren't expecting much

Author: vchimpanzee
26 April 2005

Gina has to feed the locusts in Lab C-12 at the Virginia Agricultural Institute. She's not concerned about going in the room with the locusts because, after all, they're just grasshoppers ...

Dr. Maddy Rierdon (whose robe is open and doesn't cover her underwear), an Undersecretary of Agriculture, answers the phone and finds out she has to investigate yet another crisis involving insects. This bothers Dan (who is wearing a towel). Eventually he wants to break up with Maddy because she spends too much time on work. Later, Maddy calls him while he at his job as a United Nations Agricultural liaison, giving a tour to a group of Africans. In one of the film's few really funny moments, the translator explains that Americans have relationship problems, which makes the Africans laugh.

Dr. Peter Axelrod (John Heard) has developed a hybrid locust from the Desert Locust and the Australian Plague Locust. It has a shorter gestational period and a longer life span than normal locusts, and it migrates faster ... and it's resistant to all known pesticides. Dr. Rierdon orders his lab shut down, and Dr. Axelrod is fired. All the locusts are destroyed. Well, almost. A couple get away down a drain, and another small group gets shipped, with a special warning label, to a California Air Force Base. At the base, there is an accident, and the locusts get out.

Dr. Rierdon is in California anyway to check on a West Nile Virus threat. The locusts from the base have multiplied into a giant swarm and attacked a couple of campers and some Spanish-speaking farm workers.

Meanwhile, in the East, Dr. Axelrod has still not found work (though a defense job is a possibility), but he goes to the gym so he can at least keep in shape. On the way there, he encounters the descendants of the second group of escaped locusts--and so do his daughter Sofia and all the kids on her school bus.

Wyatt, a meteorologist in Oklahoma, advises both Dr. Rierdon and Dr. Axelrod on the weather conditions that might determine where the swarms will go next. Unfortunately, at this point, Dr. Rierdon wants Dr. Axelrod to stay out of the investigation.

Pittsburgh is such a beautiful, modern city, which has overcome its image as a dirty and industrial. No longer is the city covered by dark clouds ... oh, wait.

Only one thing will kill these evil creatures. Saddam Hussein used it on his people. If nothing is done, world famine will result. Perhaps it is worth sacrificing some Americans to save the country's food supply.

The eventual solution to the locust problem is as unbelievable as the fact such a swarm could form in the first place.

If you enjoy movies like this (and I do) this was pretty good. I'm not saying this was a good movie. Almost nothing about it suggests quality except the visual effects. These swarms were scary (to me, anyway), even in the lab. And there were a few brief, well-done shots of what appeared to be real locusts eating. As for any attempts at scientific accuracy, I don't think anyone was really trying.

I found the characters in Stacey's office in Pittsburgh appealing enough that I would like to have seen a whole movie about them. Oh, well ...

Mike Farrell got old! I didn't even recognize him at first in the first scene where he appeared, talking with his daughter Maddy on the phone. He was really good in that scene, but later he wasn't anything special. Other good performances came from the translator and the farm workers.

If you like bad horror movies, this is a good one.

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9 out of 13 people found the following review useful:

Where's MST3K now that we need it?

3/10
Author: LN_Smithee from San Francisco, California, USA
25 April 2005

Halfway into the 00's, it looks as if CBS is trying to bring back what was a regular event on broadcast TV in the 70's and 80's -- the totally lame low budget TV-movie.

While I don't watch movies or shows that are appalling to me (thus explaining why I watched "Locusts" rather than "Desperate Housewives"), I am entertained by pictures that I find ridiculous. I only caught the last half-hour of CBS' last hastily served pseudo-big event, "Spring Break Shark Attack," and only the young that hasn't seen "Jaws" didn't know what that movie was before seeing it. Whatta hoot. Like "SBSA", the scenes in "Locusts" are eminently predictable.

As my summary above indicates, I really do miss Mike, Joel, Servo and Crow cracking wise at the inanity of movies like "Locusts." Prime scenes for their barbs would have been (SPOILERS!): the opening one where the assistant, showing off for her bug-fearing boyfriend, goes into the chamber full of locusts without putting on a jumpsuit; the following scene with the semi-naked Lucy Lawless (sing the National Anthem again for us, Lucy!) cutting short what should have been a romantic interlude with her chiseled-torsoed boyfriend (played by the wooden Dylan Neal), who whines like a child about how her prestigious Washington position takes her from his bed; the school bus scene when the daughter of the locusts' breeder calls for her daddy; the meeting with the USDA and the Dept. of Homeland Security, in which Lawless briefs a panel wearing full dress uniforms while she is dressed in skin-tight jeans; the inevitable expression of remorse from the entomologist, prior to his bloody demise; the scene in the Pittsburgh office, with the b-day party being interrupted by a picture window full of bugs (plus the revelation that the office hunk is even wimpier than Lawless' bf); the scene in the chopper when Lawless declares she's hormonal due to her pregnancy, and just might kill everyone in the chopper if the DHS doesn't change its drastic plan; the climactic kiss that is interrupted by the buzzing of the swarm; and just about every scene in which people are warned about the locusts' pending arrival -- first, they're in denial; minutes later, they're running for their lives.

I gave this movie three stars for each of the three best things about "Locusts": the eye candy. Her Lawlessness herself, the "MILF"-ish Natalia Nogulich, and the birthday girl from the office, the sexy, magnetic, and buxom Azure Dawn, who, according to her IMDb page, is going to be in CBS' upcoming "Elvis" mini-series as "sequined actress." I can hardly wait!

Keep an eye out for Azure Dawn in the future. On second thought, keep both eyes out. You don't want to miss anything!

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4 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Below par Lawless

4/10
Author: kirk_bones from United Kingdom
24 January 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This sort of thing has been done many times before with bees,slugs,rats and even ticks so why not a creature feature with locusts. This is a made for TV feature starring one time butt kicking warrior princess Lucy Lawless. A swarm of genetically engineered locusts escape from a laboratory and head across America creating a swathe of destruction as they go. This may have been an interesting idea on the drawing board but it has one big problem, the locusts just don't feel threatening.In classic films such as The Birds and The Swarm you feel threatened by the creatures but in this the locusts are more likely to induce a yawn rather than any sense of panic or terror.Half way through the feature the locusts turn carnivorous and this gave me the feeling that ideas had started to run out. I know Lucy Lawless may be trying to move away from Xena but surely she could choose better vehicles for her talent than this half baked attempt at creature feature terror. The dialogue was forced, the direction was slow and probably because the locusts were CGI based they didn't even begin to bring me out in even a Luke warm sweat. I give this 4/10 and that is only because of Lucy Lawless.I will always be a Lucy Lawless fan and anything she is in deserves some sort of score. My advice to anyone out there is to avoid this feature at all costs.

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8 out of 13 people found the following review useful:

Rooting for the Locusts!!

3/10
Author: melrod43 from USA
24 April 2005

Oh my, oh my, oh my. Awful doesn't even begin to describe this moronic waste of time. This movie is really just an incessant cell phone ringing and someone picking it up looking harried and worried. Yet another reason to hate technology--infesting the movies now with cell phones to eat up the scenery. Wow, kept me riveted! This blech of a movie is pathetic and I'm a huge fan of science fiction. This doesn't exactly harken back to the good old sci-fi/B movies of the past--it is insulting and a grind to watch. I was hoping the locusts would eat everyone and start with the people with cell phones parked at their heads.

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

An enjoyable movie

6/10
Author: chakram_sais
5 August 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I liked this movie. OK, it was not perfect. But movies with disasters are usually so boring that I don't watch them until the end. I started watching this one because of Lucy Lawless, which is a wonderful actress, and I didn't regret doing it. Lucy Lawless did a good work, and so was the music of Joseph LoDuca. The other characters weren't as interesting a Lucy Lawless one, but they weren't bad. The crisis in Maddy's marriage was interesting, but didn't take attention from the main problem, the locusts.

My favourite scene was the one with the helicopter, where Maddy's acts reminded me a bit what Xena would have done. I felt a bit shocked when a little girl suffered a coma just because she fell to the floor of a bus attacked by the locusts, but fortunately this plot didn't take much time from the main plot. I also liked the way Maddy's pregnancy wasn't a problem for her in order to solve the situation.

In conclusion, I think that movie won't win any Oscars, but I spent a good time watching it. Now a sequel is going to be filmed, and I hope it is at least as good as "Locusts".

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8 out of 14 people found the following review useful:

It's Like a Car Wreck...

4/10
Author: bravesrthe1 from United States
24 April 2005

You know when you pass by a car wreck and you know that it's something bad, but you just have to look at it. Well, this is that movie! For the most part it has bad acting and a really silly plot. The only reason that I'm giving it a four is because the Locusts actually look really good when grouped up and close-ups are real Locusts. Some of the government action seems pretty realistic, except for this one General that wants to spray VX-Nerve Gas, but that's really all I can say good about this movie. If your so board out of your mind and you can't sleep then laugh yourself to sleep at this movie. If you have better things to do then you know what to do. I give this movie a very giving 4 out of 10!

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2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

They Eat Everything, Except, Unfortunately, the Writer and the Director

3/10
Author: herrschenk from Cyprus
26 September 2008

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This couldn't be funnier, even if it had intended to be. It is a 21st century rendition of those awful 1950s drive-in fodder, supersized radioactive insect movies. It just doesn't know its a parody. It really thinks it's a serious movie. As a result, it has turned out much funnier than Date Movie, Epic Movie and Scary Movie, all the uninspired clones of the Zucker brothers' wonderfully screwy Airplane (Flying High down under) and Naked Gun flicks.

Great sets, nice photography but the praise stops there. The script is stupid and the acting is atrocious. Grab snacks and laugh your head off. Lucy Lawless is a scientist battling swarms of carnivorous locust, a CYA secretary of agriculture and an army general eager to gas the bugs and most of America. All are of about equal intelligence. Well, maybe collectively the grasshoppers are smarter. Remarkable, given they are all stick-on props and CGI.

BTW, the unintentional humour is so raucous I never pegged Xena until I came to IMDb. She isn't nearly so visually arresting out of leather. Her estranged boyfriend though, another scientist, is another matter. He could push this flick over with specialized audience niches. It was guffaw time for me when he walked into Command Central and was introduced as a leader in some sort of scientific field. Square jawed, wavy haired and such a caricature of handsome, you know he must have just come straight from his other job. As an underwear model.

Low moments but big laughs: Every time Lucy jumps up and down like an 11-year-old trying to get the attention of a doubting bigwig. When the biggest mid-script plot turn is the "reveal" that Lucy is pregnant. Prime moment for a line something like, "You remember that night. You came straight home after shooting the g-string commercials and you were unstoppable." No matter; viewers are already laughing so hard they'd have missed the line.

Oh yes, and those amazing CGI effects! Really love the computer simulations of the USA at Command Central where the dark swarms of dots (representing the locusts, ya know) spread across several states as fast as spilled water covers a granite counter top.

Enough already. You get it. Do NOT approach this as serious entertainment.

Oh, I forgot. There is one good performance. It's Mike Farrell (B.J. Hunnicutt on M*A*S*H) as a man outstanding in his field. You got it; a farmer. That's cuz the locusts attack all the crops in Midwestern America. Those good, honest folk don't deserve such diss.

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2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

Technically inexcusable; why it made it to air is beyond me!

1/10
Author: Norm from Melbourne, Australia
25 July 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

As an electrician, the final resolution for the posed problem is not just beyond possibility... It's beyond reasoning and certainly not plausible except to the most uneducated or jaded viewer. And to partially blame the hybrid hopper on Australia! Who writes this stuff? The premise, while fantastic, could have been much better executed. For all intents it appears that the writers have taken their 90 minutes of screen time, built their story (albeit thin), executed the major plot points (how did the bugs survive the truck on the airfield tarmac?) and then tried to coast home on some pitifully thin technical excuse for a solution. Thank goodness for weather balloons, silver streamers & diverted voltage!!! Give me a break.

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2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

The worst TV movie ever.

10/10
Author: spatula_head from United States
28 August 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Swarms of mutant grasshoppers crack windows. Sometimes, sometimes not.

Swarms of mutant grasshoppers threaten to smother the children of *coughs* plot elements.

Swarms of mutant grasshoppers blot out the sun and threaten all life on earth.

All their mutant billions are miraculously killed in a few seconds by fiddling the power lines of the Midwest.

It is difficult to describe the jaw-dropping awfulness of Locusts nor is there any point in attempting the job. Gotta be seen. It is the Plan 9 of the current generation and is very highly recommended.

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