The Break-Up (2006)
Gary: Listen, Lassie, and listen good. I'm not saying he's not gonna get married. I'm not saying he's not gonna have kids. If it does happen, his wife is gonna come home, and find him with his Tiajuana lover clubbing each other with Yanni's greatest hits.
Gary: What kind of bullshit move was that?
Brooke: I'm sorry, what? What happened?
Gary: Oh don't be coy with me. You sent that animal over here to attack me when I was hung over and weak.
Brooke: Oh no. Look, all I know is The Tone Rangers they needed some place to rehearse so I very clearly told Richard stay in my room, which you explained to me was my space to do with what I want.
Gary: Is that how you want to play it? Cause I'll play it like that. I'll play it like Lionel Richie, all night long, lady. Oh yeah. I'll call some guys from my neck of the woods. And we're not talking about, Brooke, about a couple of queens who know a few grapples. We're talking about Polacks that don't have a goddamn future. That's right. We can make shit real uncomfortable around here, and that's what we're going to do.
Brooke: Please, come on. You know what, you're just embarrassed because Richard kicked your ass.
Gary: Richard did not kick my ass. What Richard did was attack me when I was half asleep.
Brooke: Really, is that how you see it?
Gary: There's a real big gap between getting your ass kicked and having a dancing, singing sprite fool you with trickery and then strike your throat before you even know you're in a fight. But I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand that, because all you do is make moves from up in your ivory tower.
Gary: It's not about doing the things you love, it's about doing things with the one you love!
Brooke: I just don't know how we got here. Our entire relationship, I have gone above and beyond for you, for us. I've cooked, I've picked your shit up off the floor, I've laid your clothes out for you like you're a four year old. I support you, I supported your work. If we ever had dinner or anything I did the plans, I take care of everything. And I just don't feel like you appreciate any of it. I don't feel you appreciate me. All I want is to know, is for you to show me that you care.
Gary: Why didn't you just say that to me"
Brooke: I tried. I've tried.
Gary: Never like that, you might have said some things that meant to imply that, but I'm not a mind reader...
Brooke: It wouldn't matter you are who you are. Just leave me alone ok? Right now, just shut my door.
Brooke: Alright Gary just please, just leave the room. Gary just... I don't want to be near you right now, please just shut the door, please.
Lupus Grobowski: Arrested for what, baby? For being awesome?
Gary: I'm the one who should be sorry, Brooke. I shouldn't sit here and pick on your art, because you've got the 'nuts' down, Picasso! All you have to do is cut off your frigging ear.
Brooke: That's Van Gogh, you idiot. Your insults are much more effective when they're accurate.
Brooke: What are these?
Brooke: [holds up a bag with 3 lemons]
Gary: You asked for lemons. What my baby wants my baby gets.
Brooke: There are 3 lemons. I asked for 12. Baby wanted 12.
Gary: Couple quick ground rules: Please, don't jump off the bus. Weird. Not fun for anybody. Also, no throwing objects at pedestrians. Unless, of course, they deserve it, okay?
Brooke: Yea, I completely agree with you. You know, an art teacher of mine once said. Never buy a piece of art that you don't have to have. You know, don't worry about who the artist is or how much it's worth. I mean, you have to live with it everyday. You have to walk by it everyday. You have to really love it; you have to really appreciate it. It's kind of like picking a mate.
Gary: Fate has me highly skilled and loaded with talent.
Gary: You push yourself and push yourself trying to achieve the impossible, because you know what that moment comes, everything you've done has prepared you for victory!
Richard Meyers: Gary, you can't take a pitch pipe out of someone's hand when they're in the middle of a very funky groove!
Marilyn Dean: Go and show Gary your immaculate canvas, and another man eager to PAINT it.
Gary: "Band of Brothers"... you should rent it sometime
Marilyn Dean: Honey, This isn't serialism or cubism, its paint by numbers.
Marilyn Dean: Yoh, Go see Mishka, my personal waxer at the spa. Ask her for the Telly Savalas, complements of M.D.
Marilyn Dean: Then go show Gary your immaculate canvas and let him see another man eager to paint it. Got it, Got it?
Gary: Please don't touch my ruffles. Put that one back.
Brooke: You're crazy.
Gary: No, I'm not crazy and a lot of times people go "Oh that's crazy!" then they go "It's genious!". That's what happened to the person who invented fire, they burned that witch and guess what, then they got warm and they ate good stuff. Now where are we headed to. Let's not make this weird 'cause I'm not good on dates...
Marilyn Dean: What is this problem... so severe... that has caused you to blaspheme in the Synagogue of Marilyn Dean?
Marilyn Dean: Discover a path... that doesn't lead back here.
Marilyn Dean: Who am I?
Brooke: Marilyn Dean.
Marilyn Dean: And where are we?
Brooke: The Marilyn Dean Gallery.
Marilyn Dean: And of whom is that portrait?
Brooke: That is, uh, Marilyn Dean.
Marilyn Dean: Yeah. Now, your personal life is your personal life... but you look like shit. And if you look like shit, Marilyn Dean looks like shit, and then it's my business, and when it comes to my business... I don't like anything that's distracting. So I want you to take the rest of the day off... to be sad... and get back here tomorrow ready to take care of... business! Got it?
Gary: I'm just saying we shouldn't wait so long the next time before we...
Gary: Catch up.
Brooke: We have a lot more to talk about.
Gary: Be good.
Gary: Do you think there's a chance your mom won't love you anymore when she sees how badly you're getting beaten right now?
Johnny O: What you gotta do is think real hard and come up with someone who can't be traced to either one of us who can pay a visit to that guy she was with.
Gary: No, I don't want anything to happen to him.
Johnny O: Right.
Johnny O: I understand.
Gary: Is that how you want to play it Brooke? Becasue I can play it like that. I can play it like Lionel Richie, "All night long."