ECW One Night Stand (2005 TV Special)
John Layfield: [on Lance Storm] Oh my God, you can hear the paint dry. Here comes the most boring man in the history of boring. Wow! Lance Storm couldn't fill an arena if you gave away free beer with free tickets.
Steve Austin: [after a bunch of ECW wrestlers beat up on Eric Bishoff, Stone Cold puts a microphone to him and asks a question] Do you have anything to say?
Eric Bischoff: ...fuck ECW!
Joey Styles: You have been watching ECW One Night Stand from the Hammerstein Ballroom in Manhattan, New York City. Thank you. Thank you to all the ECW fans around the world who cried out for the return of ECW. Without you there would be no us. Thank you. Thank you very much. I can't believe what I'm seeing. ECW lives!
Joey Styles: [when Mike Awesome power bombed Tanaka through a table from the ringside apron] I think he's broken his friggin' neck!
The Sandman: [attempting to revive a bloody and unconscious Tommy Dreamer] Somebody, get me a beer!
Joey Styles: Screw the beer, get him some plasma!
Paul Heyman: [to Eric Bischoff] I'm not at a WCW pay-per-view with my tail between my legs. You're in our house, bitch!
Paul Heyman: Just so you know, I'm not crying. My eyes are red because I was backstage smoking a joint with Van Damme!
Joey Styles: [Tanaka smashed a chair onto another chair that was on Awesome's face] Holy crap!
Joey Styles: There is Edge, I'm made up I haven't bought my wife tonight, that is a wife stealer!
John Layfield: [to Rey Mysterio] I got a ticket, you little Mexican.
John Layfield: Anyone can be an ECW fan! Hey, you fat boy, yeah, the fat ass in the blue shirt!
Kurt Angle: [when the fans were shouting "You suck dicks"] Your mothers taught me how!
Paul Heyman: Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, hide your wives it's Edge!
Paul Heyman: [in front of the fans in the ring] Now one last time, this ain't WCW, this ain't Monday Night Raw, this ain't Smackdown! This ain't even WWE, this is EC Fuckin W!
ECW Crowd: [to Kurt Angle] You suck dick! You suck dick! You suck dick!
Kurt Angle: Your mother taught me how!
Mick Foley: In case you didn't notice, Eric, what was on display here tonight was something that WCW was curiously void of - emotion, real emotion! You can't script it.
Eric Bischoff: Yeah, by fifteen hundred idiots! Real emotion, a bunch of Kool-Aid drinking pieces of garbage that worked part-time at Dad's...
Joey Styles: Are you done?
- restaurants and still lived in their parents' homes.
Joey Styles: In case you didn't notice, you just lost the fight - to a bunch of out-of-shape wrestlers. You wanna watch bodybuilders wrestle? Go tune in on Monday night!
Eric Bischoff: A couple more would've knocked the hell out of them, I've been wanting to do that for a long time.
Joey Styles: You wanna do it because you couldn't buy me out, 'cause I didn't answer your eight phone calls!
Paul Heyman: OH Look it's Mr shoot promo, Let me tell you something
Paul Heyman: The only reason you were WWE champion for 9 months is because Triple H didn't want to work Tuesdays
Joey Styles: And I love the FBI. Now, Little Guido Maritato, WWE fans know him as Nunzio, is truly Italian. Big Guido is truly Italian. Tony Mamaluke, Tracy Smothers and JT Smith couldn't find Italy on a map. Earlier today JT Smith asked me if an innuendo was an Italian suppository.
Joey Styles: [Super Crazy hits a balcony dive onto the FBI] O Dios Mio!
Mick Foley: WCW made Mike Awesome look like a fool, like an idiot, like a nincompoop, when they turned him into 'That 70's Guy.' This has got to feel like redemption, and it has got to feel good.
Steve Austin: Kurt Angle, you little gold medal son of a bitch, pull that finger out of your ass!
The Sandman: [During the show-ending beer bash] Ahhh, E-C-FUCKING-W!
Al Snow: [Talking to Head] I can't take this. Why do you keep doing this? Yes, you know. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You're a liar. You had something to do with this. You called them. You called them and invited them here. What were you thinking? This is the ECW pay per view. This was for me, for you, for the fans, for the wrestlers who made ECW what it was, not a bunch of Smackdown assholes! No, I don't want to talk about it anymore. No, shh. No. We'll talk about it when we get back to the room.
Joey Styles: Rhino is in the best shape of his life, but right now
[Sabu puts Rhino headfirst through a table with an Arabian Skullcrusher]
Joey Styles: it doesn't mean a damn thing!
Mick Foley: With all due respect to you Joey, but, oh my God!
Joey Styles: Bang Bang!
Stevie Richards: We've heard a lot of people talk about invading. We've heard a lot of people talk about crusading. You can not have a true hardcore invasion without the B-W-O! So with that being said, we have three simple words for you. We're taking over!
Mick Foley: [Kid Kash runs into the ring during the brawl with Tommy Dreamer, the Sandman, the Dudley Boys and the BWO] Kid Kash, I believe.
Joey Styles: Kid Kash, Mr. TNA Himself. Total Nonstop Attitude.
Mick Foley: Balls Mahoney, Axl Rotten.
Joey Styles: The Hardcore Chair-Swinging Freaks. This looks like a prison break.
Joey Styles: [the Sandman has a chair between D-Von Dudley's legs and Tommy Dreamer is holding a metal sign] He wouldn't.
Tommy Dreamer: Whazzup!
[Tommy hits the sign against the chair that is placed between D-Von's legs]
Joey Styles: My god, he just crushed the man's balls!
Mick Foley: I don't care if this is ECW, you can not say that, Joey Styles.
Joey Styles: I'm being told I can't say "balls." Sorry if I offended anyone by saying "balls."
Joey Styles: [the BWO music starts before the main event] What the hell is that?
Mick Foley: [the Blue World Order makes their way out] It's the Blue World Order!
Joey Styles: [laughing] I'm gonna wet my pants. If any gimmick never deserved to make a dime and made a whole boatload of cash, this is it, and the best is they couldn't sue us because of parody. The Blue World Order!
Mick Foley: If you remember Joey, my last match in ECW against Mikey Whipwreck, at the end of that match, the Blue Meanie, Big Stevie Cool and I strutted out of the ECW Arena. That was the best exit in wrestling history, and the Sandman may have had the best entrance in wrestling history.
Joey Styles: Man, look at the old-school Daisy Dukes, the half-shirts, Nova's got those musty, smelly old tights, the face-paint.
Mick Foley: I can only imagine what the uninitiated are thinking at this moment.
ECW Crowd: BWO! BWO! BWO!