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Thomas Edward Seymour
Robert Cosgrove Jr.,
Xena, Luna, and Sola leave Malibu but return to earth unexpectedly when Xena sneezes and crash lands them on a desert isle. After being threatened by dinosaurs and having a few close ... See full summary »
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Thomas J. Moose
John Paul Fedele,
Some, if not all, of the space CGI effects in this movie are lifted from stock CGI frequently used in episodes of the TV series Babylon 5. Primarily used is the Jump Gate spiral, with a ship coming out of it. See more »
By all that is unholy, this was so bad it was literally painful to watch. But I suppose with a personal digital video camera and some willing performers (not actors, as the acting here was just heinous), then you can make a video.
The story was unbelievably stupid. Some scientists were traveling to a planet to study lesbian Neanderthals. Right, well let's just see what went wrong here. First of all, the CGI for the spaceship and outer space was just abysmal and looked like something from a computer game back in the 1990's. And the dinosaurs, are you kidding me? I have never seen anything that bad.
As for the Neanderthals themselves, right, well I didn't know that those primitives had silver rings, pierced ears with jewelry in them, and factory cut and sewn panties. Not to mention painstakingly obviously dyed hair colors.
Everything just screams bad here. This isn't just low budget, it is far beyond that. Yeah, this is meant as soft core porn, I get that, but come on; there is bad and then there is this! There is no acting in the video at all - notice how I don't use the term movie, because this just doesn't qualify as that - and it is all just about showing off women getting busy with one another. And it seems like this would be something that should have been aired late, late at night on a scrambled and obscure TV channel.
"Bikini Girls on Dinosaur Planet" is just not worth the time or effort.
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