A group of friends whose leisurely Mexican holiday takes a turn for the worse when they, along with a fellow tourist embark on a remote archaeological dig in the jungle, where something evil lives among the ruins.
A young girl buys an antique box at a yard sale, unaware that inside the collectible lives a malicious ancient spirit. The girl's father teams with his ex-wife to find a way to end the curse upon their child.
Jeffrey Dean Morgan,
In 1921, England is overwhelmed by the loss and grief of World War I. Hoax exposer Florence Cathcart visits a boarding school to explain sightings of a child ghost. Everything she believes unravels as the 'missing' begin to show themselves.
When Kimberly has a violent premonition of a highway pileup she blocks the freeway, keeping a few others meant to die, safe...Or are they? The survivors mysteriously start dying and it's up to Kimberly to stop it before she's next.
The death of a child in mysterious circumstances sparks a series of events that seem to represent biblical plagues, which start occurring in, of all places, a town called "Haven" that is located deep in the bowels of Bible belt country in the bayous of Louisiana. A former Christian missionary turned religious phenomena debunker and her top open minded student turned personnel assistant are sent to investigate. Written by
My main question: who is this movie aimed at? Any non-theist will find it laughable and stupid, but it's not exactly doing people of faith any favors either with its groundbreaking "God is evil" message. In it we find out that, due to the expansion of the human race, God no longer has the resources to keep humanity in line, so he spends his time pranking tiny hick towns out of boredom. For Haven, Louisiana, he has decided to bring back his original 10 plagues, only it turns out that what was once looked upon as phenomenal power is quite lame by contemporary standards. First he turns a two-mile stretch of river into blood, then drops about a dozen frogs into it. Having failed to terrorize the nonbelievers yet, he waits until they are about to eat dinner and then fills their barbecue grill with flies. OH SH*T, FLIES! DINNER WILL BE POSTPONED! The plagues continue on in this retarded fashion until Hilary Swank... okay, she really has nothing to do with it, the plagues just continue on to #10 and then stop. Louisiana: you have been plagued. Oh, wait: she believes now. Apparently God's goal in this movie was to give Hilary Swank her faith back by wiping out a random town. I'm not kidding. If anything could possibly make God look worse than he already does in the Old Testament, this movie has done it. It has also continued the mythical Hollywood view of atheism as some sort of mental health problem. For some reason, every atheist character in a mainstream movie has become that way because of some tragic personal event (in this case, her entire family getting slaughtered), like atheism is the equivalent of post-traumatic stress disorder.
The only thing I wish to add about this idiotic movie is that David Morrissey's accent is the funniest thing I have ever heard. It reminds me of something, but I don't know what. The best I can come up with is Bruce Campbell playing Elvis Presley, but I know that's not right. Please, someone rent this thing and tell me who he sounds like, because it's keeping me up at night.
I'll give this an extra star for some nifty special effects at the end.
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