Police officer Dirk Hendricks (Bartlett) files an amnesty application for Alex Mpondo (Ejiofor), a member of the South African Parliament who can't remember the torture he once endured as a captive political activist. South African-born attorney Sarah Barcant (Swank), meanwhile, returns to her homeland to represent Mpondo, as well as Steve Sizela, Mpondo's friend who arrested along with him and ... See full summary »
A bloody comedy about a group of strangers who spend a weekend locked up in one of their houses. Twenty-four people get in touch on the internet and arrange to spend a very different sort ... See full synopsis »
Montine McLeod, a world-weary flight attendant, and Omar Hassan, a prematurely wise 10-year-old Pakistani-American boy connect with one another amidst the chaos of September 11, 2001. When ... See full summary »
Brad William Henke
A working mother puts herself through law school in an effort to represent her brother, who has been wrongfully convicted of murder and has exhausted his chances to appeal his conviction through public defenders.
The death of a child in mysterious circumstances sparks a series of events that seem to represent biblical plagues, which start occurring in, of all places, a town called "Haven" that is located deep in the bowels of Bible belt country in the bayous of Louisiana. A former Christian missionary turned religious phenomena debunker and her top open minded student turned personnel assistant are sent to investigate. Written by
My main question: who is this movie aimed at? Any non-theist will find it laughable and stupid, but it's not exactly doing people of faith any favors either with its groundbreaking "God is evil" message. In it we find out that, due to the expansion of the human race, God no longer has the resources to keep humanity in line, so he spends his time pranking tiny hick towns out of boredom. For Haven, Louisiana, he has decided to bring back his original 10 plagues, only it turns out that what was once looked upon as phenomenal power is quite lame by contemporary standards. First he turns a two-mile stretch of river into blood, then drops about a dozen frogs into it. Having failed to terrorize the nonbelievers yet, he waits until they are about to eat dinner and then fills their barbecue grill with flies. OH SH*T, FLIES! DINNER WILL BE POSTPONED! The plagues continue on in this retarded fashion until Hilary Swank... okay, she really has nothing to do with it, the plagues just continue on to #10 and then stop. Louisiana: you have been plagued. Oh, wait: she believes now. Apparently God's goal in this movie was to give Hilary Swank her faith back by wiping out a random town. I'm not kidding. If anything could possibly make God look worse than he already does in the Old Testament, this movie has done it. It has also continued the mythical Hollywood view of atheism as some sort of mental health problem. For some reason, every atheist character in a mainstream movie has become that way because of some tragic personal event (in this case, her entire family getting slaughtered), like atheism is the equivalent of post-traumatic stress disorder.
The only thing I wish to add about this idiotic movie is that David Morrissey's accent is the funniest thing I have ever heard. It reminds me of something, but I don't know what. The best I can come up with is Bruce Campbell playing Elvis Presley, but I know that's not right. Please, someone rent this thing and tell me who he sounds like, because it's keeping me up at night.
I'll give this an extra star for some nifty special effects at the end.
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