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"I'd rather be watching a funeral."
That quote, stated by Stephanie after watching Dennis Quaid get hit in the head for about the 18th time, serves as a strong indictment of this most unnecessary of remakes, but sadly it's one of the nicest things one can say about the film.
Easily one of the 10 worst movies of the year, Yours, Mine, and Ours should be more aptly titled Suck, Suck, and Suck. Is there still a market for movies that feature little more than a bunch of young kids eating tons of sweets, splattering a house with paint, and hating each other? I figured such uncreative antics had run their course, but perhaps I was wrong. Or perhaps the people involved with this production simply had no better ideas.
"Were the writers even trying?" Stephanie asked me as Dennis Quaid got splattered with paint, fell in a pool of goo, and then tripped over a flatulent pig that, of course, eats at the family dinner table. "No, they weren't," I replied as I stared dumbfounded at the screen, shaking my head over the fact that the writers expect us to laugh about kids vomiting and then falling in it.
I suppose I should commend the movie for warning the audience right away just how bad a time they can expect to have if they attempt to sit through the full 90 minutes. If the "Nickelodeon Films" moniker fails to send up any red flags, then the fact that Dennis Quaid and Rene Russo (possibly the hottest 51-year-old woman on the planet) meet, rekindle their high school relationship, get engaged, get married, and buy a brand new house all within the first 10 minutes should seal the deal that it's in your best interest to sprint to the exit and ask for your money back.
There are two legitimately funny scenes in the movie, one involving Dennis Quaid brushing his tongue. Everything else has been done several times with equally unfunny results. "Oh look, Dennis Quaid's son has accidentally started up a forklift at the store! Oh look, Dennis Quaid just jumped on the forklift and his head is bumping against every box in the store! Oh look, Dennis Quaid's credibility can actually be seen leaking out of the screen!" That's what's considered funny these days?
And just when you think things can't get any worse, the writers decide to blindside us with an ending so ridiculously sappy that you'll be wishing you brought your trusty yellow bucket and you'll pray for an end to your dry heaving. I officially hate lighthouses now.
I suppose 10-year-old girls might enjoy this, but if you value your time or money then I recommend that you stay away. Far away. This is a movie so the opposite of hilarious that I'm forced to come up with a new word for it - lolarious (pronounced "low-larious"). Feel free to use the word amongst friends. Hopefully its popularity will spread and it will one day be added to the dictionary. At least then I could say one good thing came out of the film.
As it stands, Yours, Mine, and Ours ain't mine, I'm pretty sure you don't want it to be yours, and if we made it ours then we'd only end up arguing over who would be the one to get rid of it.
When Admiral Frank Beardsley returns to his hometown after years of
Coast Guard service, he meets his old flame Helen North at a high
school reunion. Both recently widowed, the two find the old sparks
again immediately and marry on a whim. There's one catch. Frank has
eight children and Helen has ten children (many adopted).
Someone should tell the writers of Yours, Mine and Ours that chaos does not equal funny. Two parents, eighteen kids, one crazy nanny and one pig all live under the same house, so hilarity is supposed to ensue right? Well, not in this film. All of the laughs are few and far in between and when the movie is over, all you're left with is one big headache. Kids will most likely eat this one up but they deserve better films than this. It's no surprise that this film is a dud since its directed by Raja Gosnell. He is your typical bland director and he doesn't have much imagination. He always puts the lamest jokes and pratfalls into his films like Dennis Quaid falling face first into a bucket of paint.
Dennis Quaid plays the uptight father and he pretty much makes a fool of himself here. He seems to be trying so hard to get a laugh from the audience but he fails. I'm surprised he took this role since this is a little out of his usual element but I guess Tim Allen was busy. Rene Russo plays his wife and she was okay but a little bland. After this film and Two for the Money, she needs a new agent because she actually is talented. There were so many kids that it was hard to keep track of them. Most of them were either bland or they played annoying characters. There were a few that showed a little potential for the future but I wouldn't hold my breath. In the end, a weak story, very few laughs, weak acting and bad direction equals a poor film and this movie is better left on the shelf. Rent the original instead. Rating 3/10
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I was very disappointed with this remake. The original was funny, but this movie was in my opinion, chaotic! I think those kids really needed a trip to the woodshed! In our politically correct system we are made to think that every family is dysfunctional. Most parents would be ashamed of such rowdy children. Why do we put up with such poor family movies? Let's get back to traditional family values. I took my 7 yr old granddaughter to see it and she was appalled by the lack of discipline. Bring back It's a wonderful life and Spensers Mountain. They had real values. Why so many remakes of good films and making them trash? Let's get back to the real America!
Frank Beardsley (Quaid) is a 2-Star Admiral in the USCG and a widower
with 8-kids. Helen North (Russo) is a dress designer and a widow with
10-kids. They were sweethearts in High School and meet 30-years later
and get married. The kids don't like it and plan to break up this
Let's see, we had the "Little Old Woman Who Iived in a Shoe etc; then we had Our Gang Comedies; Then the Brady Bunch; then Eight is Enough, and then My Three Sons. All had something going for them. All were good in their day and I predict that this movie will soon be a family TV show.
Yes, there are silly things in here. Come on, there are 18-kids involved so you can expect some of that. Frank runs a tight ship, and Helen does not. One of Helen's kids says, "they get married and we get drafted." See where we are going with this?
But, there are also enough funny things going on to keep you going to the end of the movie. Quaid and Russo play it straight and that is to their credit. Rip Torn is always good and is probably one of the most under-rated actors of our time. Jerry O'Connell did okay.
I am surprised at the number of times I laughed at some goings on. This is good family fun. There was good timing by all and nothing was overdone and these are quite possibly the reasons the laughs came easily. This is a well done comedy.
Yes, I can see where this will become a TV show in time.
This "re-casting" of the family favorite of Yours, Mine, and Ours can't even shake a stick at the original with Fonda and Ball. Granted while the original was contemporary for the day that it was made the dialog, and the family situations dealing with a large family are either ad voided or watered down to a point of non-existence. Koodos for Quaid for his role of the bewildered father. Quaid tries to make the role work with the weak script that he got, but for what he got he did an outstanding job. The 2005 "re-casting" of the situations was nothing more than politically correct mumbo jumbo that missed the mark of the comedic timing. All of it was turned into a slapstick dribble with obvious setups from the production team. They took a great crafted movie and watered it down to a dribble that only family with young kids will like. Yes, the original is dated, but we can still connect with the themes and the characters while the 2005 VERSION OF YOURS, MINE, AND OURS WILL BE LONG Forgotten WHILE THE ORIGINAL REMAINS FRESH.
This movie was excellent, it one of very few family movies that are suitable for all ages. Many people say they didn't like it, and gave it bad ratings probably because, there's no sexual humor or sex scenes. These days, If there's sex in a movie, then that makes it interesting and good. Hardly anyone understands that family movies are for families, they're not meant to be nasty to watch, it should be enjoyable for everyone. Movies can be great without that garbage. The humor was good and you can really feel the compassion in this movie. Its great for kids. I loved the way things happened, like the physical humor and the kid actors/actresses were so adorable. The only thing I didn't like about it was the fight over a boy that the two older girls had. I think it was stupid and unnecessary. Drake Bell did a really good job on his part. He was witty and full of drama with the different situations throughout the movie. Everyone did a great job. I give it a 8 out of 10.
Both Russo and Quaid have an energy between them, but they cannot
redeem this film, with a paltry script and too many characters, so that
the supporting cast remain that, and wasted! The film seems to work on
the premise that bigger is always better, and the direction seems to go
that way too. What could have benefited from some quieter, uncluttered
subtlety, becomes an assault on one's senses, patience and
This film could have been better had it been downscaled a bit, and had some honest attempt been made to show plausible character development. Although just released (in SA), it has a jaded feel about it.
This comedy might well be yours but it's not mine!
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
The movie Yours, Mine and Ours was a terrible movie and a waste of my
time to watch. The reasons are quite simple, the actors sucked and the
plot was the stupidest.
The children supposedly don't like each other and have nothing in common. And instead of trying to explain to their parents that they can't stand each other, have nothing in common and were unfairly forced together without their say, they make a plan to try to break up their parents. Obviosly the kids have no respect toward their parents and their feelings, even the older ones. So what ends up happening is they begin ruining their parents life.
What I find the stupidest part of the movie, and what really made it a waste of my time is that these kids supposedly don't like each other. Well it takes a lot of teamwork to pull of the tricks that they were pulling on their parents. They learned to respect each other and eventually even like each other, and yet they were still trying to break their parents apart? The whole reason they wanted to part their parents is because they couldn't stand each other. So why didn't they stop their plan when they began to get along each other? Stupid plot, stupid movie.
The pig was a stupid addition, these guys would not had made this movie without their stupid goals behind it. They said "hey lets remake the 1968 movie Yours, Mine and Ours so we can out-number the kids in cheaper by the dozen". And then said "hey lets add a pot-bellied pig so we can have an original family pet just like in The Pacifier". Also the fact the Quaid was married to another dress designer like in The Parent Trap. They take the wreckless slapstick style with no humor in it. This movie is a rip off of so many things and lacks the ability to make me laugh.
And another stupid thing about this movie is the character Helen North. She has disciplinophobia(Not a real word as far as I know). She is scared of discipline, total hippie. There is Nothing I hate more than somebody, whether they are real or a character, who is afraid to put their foot down. After the kids trash that store I thought their would be heavy consequences. After they throw that party without their parents permission, behind their back, when their home is full of complete strangers trashing their house and when the kids are neglected, stored away and sick on junk food she tells Frank to relax?! I would expect any health parent to ship their kids off to military school after a stunt like that(only the kids that threw the party). She is in a relaxing mood at a time like this? Pathetic, and worse than that she was afraid to set any rules or boundaries. When Frank says "There is nothing wrong with having rules. Everybody lives by them, the entire universe lives by them." She says "Well then Frank that's the last thing these kids need from me. There's only one rule I know, and that's at any time all of this can be over. Taken away from you forever, then who needs more rules after that.". Sounds a lot like a divorce threat to me. Why would any parent(especially a parent of ten) want no rules or boundaries for their kids? Unrealisticly a terrible character, it pisses me off so much I want to take my fist and..........
I found nothing good about this movie, except its alright for anybody 9 and under. I would have voted 0 but I can't.
Also I feel sorry for all of you so naive to actually enjoy this movie. God remove the devil inside you for it.
Don't waste your time.
as far as comedies goes it get's the job done, but some parts of the movie just dragged, and u were waiting for the preverbial shoe to drop. randy quaid seemed a bit to stiff in his lead role, rene russo still has the charm and looks, the younger actors seemed to be more relaxed in their roles, overall the movie wasn't bad by any stretch, just in spots the writers could have done a better job filling the gaps. i would say that if you watch it just for comedic value , then it's a great 1.5 spent, if you look for other redeeming qualities as i do then it was okay, but could have been better, in my opinion the pig really steals the whole show, the kids can have a blast watching this one, but i would go with a comedy that can keep the story going just a little better
Nothing against Dennis Quaid or Rene Russo, but they certainly were in
way over their heads, not because they had to contend with 18 snotty
brats, but rather because of this tedious and contrived script
adaptation that strangles a once amusing story.
First of all, the romance is implausible. A stern Coast Guard admiral who regiments his ten offspring like so many deck swabbies meets a free-spirit who lets her eight kids run wild, and these polar opposites fall instantly in love? Then, like two infatuated teenagers, they impulsively run off and elope faster than you can say, "Vegas wedding with Elvis, please." After this, the movie just disintegrates into a parade of scenes of this mob of kids yelling, crying, fighting, breaking things, or something always falling on the dad. No comedy; just tired, overused old jokes, and monotonously boring. The plot is built upon these hateful creeps plotting to destroy their parents' marriage and happiness. Funny? No, it's not. Typical of this inept movie is the routine ending which doesn't even fit the action that precedes it. For those who can't wait to see the obligatory scene of a little kid puking, don't worry; it's here too. After watching this, you may do the same.
Just plain irritating.
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