Virgin Territory (2007)
Lorenzo: [after getting waken up by the nun, getting discovered that he isn't deaf and mute] Ehmm... A miiiiiracle! I CAN SPEAK!
Tindaro: [narrating about Gerbinos sex-life] There isn't much going on under his pants. Funny, I've heard that he's the biggest dick in town...
Count Dzerzhinsky: [when crossing their ways, as both are chasing after Gerbino] Where did he go?
Lorenzo: Uhh... That way.
[points at left]
Count Dzerzhinsky: Okay, but wait! Who are you?
Lorenzo: Lorenzo di Lamberti.
Count Dzerzhinsky: Right! The robber on the road! I am Count Dzerzhins...
Lorenzo: [runs away, annoyed] I know! I KNOW!
Count Dzerzhinsky: [shouts after Lorenzo] FIRST SON!
Count Dzerzhinsky: Only son, nine sisters!
[runs after Lorenzo]
Tindaro: [while marrying Gerbino and Pampinea] Pampinea... have you taken a bath?
Pampinea: I have taken a bath this day, father.
Tindaro: Witnesses of this holy matrimony, this woman come pure in both body and soul... Now, Gerbino Della Ratta, have you taken a bath.
Gerbino: I have taken a bath!
Tindaro: Are you sure? Downstairs? In between your legs?
Tindaro: Show me you hands...
Gerbino: This is ridiculous!
[shows his hands]
Tindaro: Uggh! You have dirt in your fingernails!
Gerbino: So, what's wrong?
Tindaro: Now I can't really say "Witness of this holy matrimony, this man comes with pure body and soul, but with dirty fingernails", now can I?
Gerbino: [goes to the fountain, washing his hands, goes back to Pampinea and Tindaro, waves hand at Tindaros face] Happy?
Pampinea: [to Gerbino] He was trying to help...
Tindaro: Yeah, exactly...