Edit
American Pie Presents Band Camp (Video 2005) Poster

Quotes

Matt Stifler: Bite my nuts and call me Skippy.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Matt Stifler: What the fuck!

Brandon's friend 1: Are you a rookie, you look lost?

Matt Stifler: Are you an asshole, you're hairy and you smell like shit!

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Elyse: Do you know what you just did?

Matt Stifler: Doesn't matter. Fucker's going down!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Matt Stifler: I'll have you giving Chloe the pelvic noogie inside a week.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Ernie Kaplowitz: Are you really Scottish?

Matt Stifler: Fuck no! My mom made me learn an instrument; that's the most annoying one I could think of.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Brandon Vandecamp: I see you 're not wearing you beanie, Stifler.

Matt Stifler: Well, how about I take his beanie...

[takes off Ernie's beanie]

Matt Stifler: ...and put it on my weenie?

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Matt Stifler: How's that taste, Vande-cock? Mmmm... good, huh? Warm and salty? Yeah, it's a CUM-pletely new formula! 100% Stiffy Juice! SPF 69!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Ernie Kaplowitz: I really want to work for NASA.

Matt Stifler: National Anal Sex Association?

Ernie Kaplowitz: No it's Space Assoc... There's an Anal Sex Association?

Matt Stifler: Oh, yeah, but you've got to be a pro. Wait, there's a Space Association?

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Elyse: Are you okay?

Matt Stifler: Oh, yeah.

Elyse: I'm so drunk right now... I'm probably gonna forget about you... porkin' an oboe!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Oscar: Let's go Horndog. That's is nickname. Dude will stick his dick in anything, it's unnatural.

Jimmy: This one time in Band Camp, I fucked an oboe.

Matt Stifler: WHAT?

Jimmy: Blowing it for a while. Get that wood nice and warm. Slap on some valve oil, and GO TO TOWN yo!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Brandon Vandecamp: You're going down.

Matt Stifler: No, I'm not. But your mom did last night. Did she play the trumpet? 'Cause she has really strong lips.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Sherman: [to Stifler] When school starts you're going to be on a very short leash. Remember, the Shermanator sees all.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Mr. Levenstein: [to Elyse and Stifler] Let me see if I have this straight. Elyse, you think Matt is an arrogant jock who wears his penis on his forehead just to gain the approval of his sociopathic older brother. And Matt, you think Elyse is an uptight, geeky prude who needs to, uh, loosen up a bit and get laid.

[to Elyse]

Mr. Levenstein: Excuse the expression, dear. Is that close to being on the money?

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Ernie Kaplowitz: Get her drunk? That's the secret of the ages, that's step number two?

Matt Stifler: No, actually it's step four - but you don't have the balls for two, or the tongue for three!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Mr. Levenstein: We didn't have MTV when I was growing up. So maybe it's the overstimulated times that we live in that causes young men to stick their... instruments in such... odd places. I knew a certain young men once who actually engaged in sexual congress with an apple pie, and he turned out just fine. So, uhh... you're perfectly normal.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page