Buzz Lightyear: Hold on, this is no time to be hysterical!
Hamm the Piggy Bank: This is the perfect time to be hysterical.
Rex the Green Dinosaur: Should we be HYSTERICAL?
Slinky Dog: No!
Mr. Potato Head: Yes!
Buzz Lightyear: Maybe! But not right now!
Hamm the Piggy Bank: C'mon. Let's go see how much we're going for on eBay.
Andy's Mom: [from trailer]
[speaking to someone else]
Andy's Mom: Andy's going to college. Can you believe it?
Andy: Mom, I'm not leaving 'til Friday.
Andy's Mom: [about Andy's toys in the toy chest] What are you going to do with these old toys?
Molly: [Andy is climbing up the ladder to the attic to put his toys away when Molly walks out of her room carrying a box] Uh!
[a small heavy ball falls out of the box]
Andy: You need a hand?
Molly: I got it!
[he puts the ball back and picks up the box]
Andy: So, you gonna miss me when I'm gone?
Molly: If I say no, do I still get your room?
Andy: [they walk down the stairs] Nope.
Molly: Then, yes, I'll miss you.
Lotso: Ken? New toys!
Ken: Far out! Down in a jiff, Lotso.
[goes down the elevator]
Ken: So, who's ready for Ken's dream tour?
Lotso: Let's show our new friends where they'll be staying!
Ken: Uh, folks, if you'll just want to step right this way...
[he sees Barbie]
Ken: Hi, I'm Ken.
Barbie: Barbie. Have we ever met?
Ken: I would have remembered.
Ken: Love your leg wamers!
Barbie: Nice ascot!
Lotso: Come on, Ken, recess don't last forever.
Ken: Right on, Lotso. This way everybody.
Lotso: Got a lot to look forward to, folks. The little ones love new toys.
Buzz Lightyear: What a nice bear!
Rex the Green Dinosaur: And he smells like strawberries.
Ken: [Giving Andy's toys a tour of the daycare, Ken passes his dollhouse] And this... well, this is where I live. It's got a disco, it's got a dune buggy, and a whole room just for trying on clothes.
Barbie: [gasps] You have everything!
Ken: Everything... except someone to share it with...
[he walks away]
Barbie: [sighs lovingly]
Woody: [Woody is trying to find directions to Andy's house on Bonnie's mother's computer. Suddenly a chat window pops up, and Woody reads the username of its sender] Who's "Velocistar237"...?
Trixie: [knocks Woody aside and starts typing frantically] Oh! That's just a dinosaur toy down the street, that's nothing, let just take care of that.
Trixie: It's just a dinosaur!
Woody: All right...
Sergeant: [Three of Andy's army men are preparing to jump out the window with parachutes] We've done our duty. Andy's grown up.
Army Man 1: Let's face it. When the trash bags come out, we army guys are the first to go.
Buzz Lightyear: Trash bags?
Woody: Who said anything about trash bags?
Sergeant: It has been an honor serving with you. Good luck, folks.
Army Man 2: You're gonna need it!
[they jump out]
Chunk: [Buzz has just successfully made it to the window over the Caterpillar Room door, at sunset, and now he hears two voices approaching in the hallway below] Heh, heh heh heh... You think they had a fun playtime?
Twitch: Shh! They might hear you!
[Buzz hears giggling to his left and looks over to another doorway where Barbie and Ken are talking to each other]
Ken: Okay, now you start.
Barbie: you! Oh!
Ken: See? That time I said "love"! Okay, now me first.
[Buzz gives them a strange look]
Barbie: [overlapping] Ooh! Okay okay okay...
Ken: you! You see what I mean? It changes every time!
Barbie: [laughing] You are so smart!
[Twitch and Chunk pass them]
Twitch: [grabbing Ken's collar] C'mon, Romeo. We're late.
Woody: [in Bonnie's room] Look, I just need to get out of here...
Buttercup: [dramatically] There is no way out!
[Woody stares at him in horror]
Buttercup: Just kidding. Door's right over there.
[In Bonnie's room; she is playing with her toys and Woody]
Woody: [voice box] There's a snake in my boot!
[Bonnie pulls his string again]
Woody: I'd like to join your posse, boys, but first I'm gonna sing a little song.
Bonnie: A sheriff!
[she sets Woody down at a table surrounded by stuffed animals]
Bonnie: Move over, Mr. Pricklepants!
[she pushes him aside]
Bonnie: We have a guest!
[she hops from foot to foot]
Bonnie: You want some coffee?
[she sets out cups and pretends to pour from a pitcher]
Bonnie: It's good for you, but don't drink too much or you'll have to - Be right back!
[she runs out the door]
Woody: [Woody looks around, the other toys are still frozen] Pssst! Hey! Hello! Hi. Excuse me...
Mr. Pricklepants: Shh!
Woody: Can you tell me where I am?
Mr. Pricklepants: Shhh!
[he freezes again]
Buttercup: The guy's just asking a question.
Mr. Pricklepants: Well, excuse me! I am trying to stay in character!
Buttercup: [to Woody] My name's Buttercup.
Mr. Pricklepants: [at Buttercup] Shh!
Trixie: Hello! I'm Trixie!
Mr. Pricklepants: [at Trixie] Shhh!
Trixie: [back at him] Shhh!
Woody: [waves his arms] Guys, hey! Guys, look, I don't know where I am...
Trixie: We're either in a café in Paris or a coffee shop in New Jersey. I'm pretty sure I just came back from the doctor with life-changing news.
Buttercup: We do a lot of improv here. Just stay loose, have fun - you'll be fine!
Woody: No, no no no, I...
[Bonnie flushes the toilet in the bathroom and Woody goes limp]
[Lotso leaves the toys to die in the incinerator at the dump instead of helping them]
Lotso: Where's your kid now, Sheriff?
Spanish Buzz: [immediately after being reset into Spanish, Buzz speaks into his wrist communicator] Bitácora Espacial - Me he despertado de hiper-sueño en un planeta extraño.
Hamm the Piggy Bank: [to Rex] Now what did you do?
Rex the Green Dinosaur: I just did what you told me!
Spanish Buzz: Estoy rodeado por criaturas extrañas y desconozco sus intenciónes. ¿¡Quién anda ahí? ¿Amigo? O enemigo?
[aims his laser at Woody]
Woody: Uh... Amigos! We're all amigos!
Spanish Buzz: [turns off laser and is suddenly friendly] Me debo haber estrellado, y se me borró la memoria.
[helmet still up, he kisses Woody quickly on each cheek]
Spanish Buzz: ¿Han visto a mi nave espacial?
Woody: [dumbstruck] We gotta switch him back.
Woody: So long... partner.
Mr. Potato Head: [to the Peas-in-a-Pod] I told you kids to stay out of my butt!
Jessie: I should have seen this coming! It's Emily all over again!
Jessie: Hogtie the mailman! We gotta get you home before Andy leaves tomorrow!
Andy: [opens box, and takes out Jessie] This is Jessie, the roughest, toughest cowgirl in the whole west. She loves critters, but none more than her best pal, Bullseye!
[pulls out Bullseye, and makes a whinnying sound]
[holds the two toys out to Bonnie]
Bonnie: [shyly walks over and takes Jessie and Bullseye, a smile on her face]
Andy: [pulls out Rex] This is Rex! The meanest, most terrifying dinosaur who ever lived! RAWR! RAWR!
Bonnie: [recoils a little, but then giggles, and takes Rex too]
Andy: [pulls out Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head] The Potato Heads: Mr. and Mrs. You gotta keep them together because they're madly in love.
[Andy sets them down in front of Bonnie, before pulling out Slinky Dog]
Andy: Now Slinky here, is as loyal as any dog you could want.
[Andy then pulls out Hamm]
Andy: And Hamm, he'll keep your money safe, but he's also one of the most dastardly villains of all time: Evil Dr. Porkchop!
[Andy then places the two with their friends, before pulling out the three aliens]
Andy: These little dudes are from a strange alien world: Pizza Planet!
[Andy sets them down before reaching into the box again]
Andy: And this, is Buzz Lightyear, the coolest toy ever! Look! He can fly, oh, and shoot lasers!
[Andy pops open Buzz's wings, and fires his laser]
Andy: He's sworn to protect the galaxy from the Evil Emperor Zurg!
Bonnie: [Bonnie takes Buzz from Andy, and presses one of the buttons on his spacesuit]
Buzz Lightyear: To Infinity, and Beyond!
Andy: Now, you gotta promise to take good care of these guys. They, mean, alot to me.
Andy: Now Woody, he's been my pal for as long as I can remember. He's brave, like a cowboy should be. And kind, and smart. But the thing that makes Woody special, is he'll never give up on you... ever. He'll be there for you, no matter what.
Andy: [taking a last look at his toys before he heads off to college] Thanks, guys.
[Mr. Potato Head, portraying One-Eyed Bart, jumps out of a train while carrying money sacks]
Mr. Potato Head: [laughs evily] Ah, ha ha ha! Money, money, money!
[Woody lassoes a rope to grab the money from Mr. Potato Head's hands, then trips him]
Woody: You've got a date with justice, One-Eyed Bart!
Mr. Potato Head: Too bad, Sheriff! I'm a married man!
[Mrs. Potato Head jumps onto the train, giving karate yells]
Woody: One-Eyed Betty?
[Mrs. Potato Head chases Woody across the train tops, then uses nunchucks to knock him off. As the Potato Heads look and laugh evily, Woody suddenly reappears, riding Bullseye with Jessie]
Jessie: I think you dropped something, mister!
Mr. Potato Head: Jessie?
Woody: Give it up, Bart! You've reached the end of the line!
Mr. Potato Head: I always wanted to go out with a bang!
[Mr. Potato Head presses a button on a remote, causing dynamite to blow up the bridge]
Jessie: Oh, no!
Woody: The orphans!
[cut to a group of Troll dolls riding the train]
Mr. Potato Head: Hate to leave early, but our ride is here!
[Three aliens drive up in a pink Barbie Corvette]
Mr. Potato Head: It's me or the kiddies, Sheriff! Take your pick!
[the Potato Heads jump into the convertible and drive off]
Woody: Ride like the wind, Bullseye!
[Woody jumps on to a train of orphaned Troll dolls. He pulls the brake to try and stop the train before reaching the broken bridge, but they still fall into the canyon]
[Suddenly, Buzz Lightyear appears, lifting the train and its passengers out of the canyon]
Buzz Lightyear: Glad I could catch the train!
Woody: Now let's catch some criminals!
Buzz Lightyear: To infinity and beyond!
[Cut to the Potato Heads and the aliens in their car, counting money and laughing evily]
Aliens: [pointing at the sky] Ooh!
[Buzz flies above the bandits and slices their car with his laser. After the criminals tumble to the ground, Woody, Buzz, and Jessie enter]
Woody: Reach for the sky!
Mr. Potato Head: You can't touch me, Sheriff. I brought my attack dog with a built-in force field!
[Mr. Potato Head calls Slinky Dog over with a whistle. Slinky bounces down from the mountains and forms the force field around the Potato Heads and aliens]
Woody: Well, I brought my dinosaur who eats force field dogs!
[the ground cracks apart, and Rex emerges. He roars at the evildoers, but then notices something]
Rex the Green Dinosaur: Huh?
Buzz Lightyear: [a pig-shaped spaceship suddenly appears. Its driver is Hamm, portraying Dr. Porkchop] Evil Dr. Porkchop!
Hamm the Piggy Bank: That's *Mr.* Evil Dr. Porkchop to you.
[Hamm teleports the Potato Heads, the aliens, and Slinky onto his ship. He also pushes a button reading, "Death by Monkeys," trapping our heroes with a flood of plastic red monkeys. As Mr. Potato Head reaches toward a button activating a destructive ray, the scene suddenly cuts to Andy's bedroom. The whole scene actually took place in Andy's imagination, as he plays with the toys and a cardboard spaceship]
Young Andy: [as Woody] Buzz, shoot your laser at my badge!
Young Andy: [as Buzz] Woody, no! It'll kill you!
Young Andy: [as Woody] Just do it!
[Andy shields Buzz's eyes and pushes the laser button. He uses his finger to trace the laser bouncing off Woody's badge, then knocks the spaceship and its evil passengers towards the ground]
Lotso: F.A.O. my Schwartz!
Mr. Potato Head: You would not believe what I have been through tonight!
Rex the Green Dinosaur: Mr. Lotso, do toys here get played with every day?
Lotso: All day long! Five days a week.
Jessie: But what happens when the kids grow up?
Lotso: Well now, I'll tell you.
[Lotso walks over to a wall with class photos from past years]
Lotso: When the kids get old, new ones come in. When they get old, new ones replace them. You'll never be outgrown, or neglected. Never abandoned or forgotten. No owners means - no heartbreak!
Mrs. Potato Head: It's a miracle!
Mr. Potato Head: And you wanted us to stay at Andy's!
Woody: Because we're Andy's toys!
Lotso: [walks over] So you got donated by this "Andy", huh? Well it's his loss, Sheriff. He can't hurt you no more.
Woody: Whoa! Whoa, whoa whoa...
Lotso: Now let's get you settled in.
[Barbie, wearing Ken's spacesuit with an opaque visor, comes to Bookworm to get the Buzz Lightyear instruction manual]
Bookworm: [after rummaging in the shelves] All right, Ken. Here you go
[he throws down the manual]
Bookworm: But I don't know why it couldn't have waited until tomorrow.
[Barbie picks up the manual and salutes Bookworm]
Bookworm: [Barbie walks away, and Bookworm sees her high-heeled shoes] Huh?
Bookworm: [after a pause, he rolls his eyes] Sheesh!
[Barbie is tearing up Ken's outfits to get him to reveal information]
Barbie: Let's see... Hawaiian surf trunks!
[she rips them in half]
Ken: Barbie, those were vintage! It's okay! Go ahead, rip 'em! They're a dime a dozen!
Barbie: Ooh! Glitter tux!
[she rips it in half]
Ken: Who cares? Who cares? Sequins are tacky!
Barbie: A Nehru jacket!
Ken: Barbie! Not the Nehru!
Barbie: This is from, what? 1967?
Ken: The Groovy Formal Collection, yes!
Barbie: What a shame.
[Barbie makes little tears in the jacket. The stitches separate before Ken's eyes]
Ken: Oh, no! No! No, no, no! There's an instruction manual! Lotso switched Buzz to Demo Mode!
Barbie: Where's that manual?
Jessie: Buzz! We're your friends!
Buzz Lightyear: Spare me your lies, temptress! Your emperor's defeated, and I'm immune to your bewitching good looks.
Woody: You'll be okay in the attic?
Jessie: Of course I will... Besides, I know about Buzz's Spanish Mode.
Buzz Lightyear: My what?
Lotso: You've got a playdate with destiny!
Mrs. Potato Head: [Molly tosses Barbie into the "Sunnyside" box without caring] Poor Barbie!
Hamm the Piggy Bank: I get the Corvette.
Mr. Potato Head: [after spending the night in the daycare sandbox] It was cold and dark, nothing but sand and a couple of Lincoln Logs.
Hamm the Piggy Bank: Eh... I don't think those were Lincoln Logs.
Jessie: Buzz, you're back!
Buzz Lightyear: [confused] Uh, yes, yes I am. Where did I go?
Woody: Beyond infinity, Space Ranger.
Woody: [Chatter Telephone rings. Woody picks up phone] Hello?
Chatter Telephone: You shouldn't have come back cowboy. They've cracked down hard since you left. More guards, more patrols, you and your friends ain't ever getting out of here now.
Woody: I made it out once.
Chatter Telephone: You got LUCKY once. Want my advice? Keep your heads down, you'll survive.
Woody: Yeah, for how long?
Chatter Telephone: I've been here years, they'll never break me. There's only one way toys leave this place.
[Both see the janitor dropping a toy train down the trash chute]
Chatter Telephone: Poor fella. Trash truck comes at dawn, then it's off to the dump.
Woody: Look, I appreciate your concern old-timer, but we have a kid waiting for us. Now, we're leaving. If you'd help us, one toy to another, I'd sure be grateful.
Chatter Telephone: [pause] Well... if you're gonna get out, first things you're gonna get through is the doors. Locked every night, inside and out, keys are left on a hook in the office.
Woody: Got it. What else?
Chatter Telephone: Lotso has trucks patrolling all night long. Hallway, lobby, playground...
Woody: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but what about the wall?
Chatter Telephone: Eight feet high; cinder block; No way through it. You go over, or under.
Woody: That's it? It doesn't seem so bad.
Chatter Telephone: It's not. Your REAL problem's the monkey. The Monkey's the eye in the sky. He sees everything... classrooms, hallways, even the playground. You can unlock doors, sneak past guards, climb the wall, but if you don't take out that monkey you ain't going nowhere. You want to get out of here... GET RID OF THAT MONKEY!
Woody: We're all still here! I - I mean, yeah, we've lost friends along the way... Wheezy... and Etch...
Rex the Green Dinosaur: And Bo Peep?
Woody: ...Yeah. Even - even Bo.
Jessie: Woody, we were wrong to leave Andy. I - I was wrong...
Mr. Potato Head: Jessie's right, Woody. She was wrong.
Mrs. Potato Head: You saved our lives!
Mr. Potato Head: And *we* are eternally grateful!
[hugs the aliens]
Mr. Potato Head: My boys!
Rex the Green Dinosaur: [after Andy picks up Rex to get his cell phone, which Rex was gripping] He held me! He actually held me!
Buzz Lightyear: We're going in the attic now, folks. Keep your accessories with you at all times. Spare parts, batteries, anything you need for an orderly transition.
Andy's Mom: [helping Andy prepare, Andy's mom walks around his room with a trash bag] Look, it's simple. Skateboard? College! Little League trophy? Probably attic. Apple core? Trash.
[she picks a green apple core off his dresser and drops it in the bag]
Woody: Day care is a sad lonely old place for toys who don't have a home.
Hamm the Piggy Bank: Quite the charmer, ain'tya?
Barbie: Authority should derive from the consent of the governed, not from threat of force!
Buttercup: My name's Buttercup. You've met Baron von Shush.
Buzz Lightyear: Quiet, musical hog!
Buzz Lightyear: Prisoners sleep in their cells. Any prisoner caught outside their cells spends the night in the box. Roll call at dusk and dawn. Any prisoner misses roll call spends the night in the box. Prisoners do NOT speak unless spoken to. Any prisoner talks back spends the night...
Jessie: [snappily] In the BOX. We GET it.
Jessie: Buzz! Mind if I squeeze in next to you?
Buzz Lightyear: Yes. No! I mean, w-w-why-why would I mind squee-squeezing next to you? - Is it hot in here?
Hamm the Piggy Bank: Hey, where's that fur-ball Lotso?
Slinky Dog: Yeah, I'd like to loosen his stitching.
Woody: Forget it, guys. He's not worth it.
Frog: Hey buddy, you might wanna keep your mouth shut.
Chunk: [up in the vending machine with the other toys, referring to Buzz] He ain't the sharpest knife in the... place where... they keep the knives...
Sparks: Neither are you, Chunk!
[the toys are trapped in the incinerator]
Jessie: Buzz! What do we do?
[Buzz takes hold of Jessie's hand]
[while Buzz and Totoro try to repair a cardboard spaceship, Jessie starts playing Spanish music. As a result, Buzz starts involuntarily dancing, and grabs Jessie into his arms]
Buzz Lightyear: [chuckles] I, uh, I have no idea what came over me.
Jessie: Just go with it, Buzz.
[Jessie and Buzz tango to a Spanish rendition of "You've Got a Friend in Me" as the other toys watch]
Slinky Dog: I thought we were going to the attic?
Rex the Green Dinosaur: At last! I'm gonna get played with!
Mr. Potato Head: But these toddlers... they don't know how to play with us!
Rex the Green Dinosaur: They're too young!
Aliens: The Claw!
Lotso: Welcome to Sunnyside, folks. I'm Lots-o-Huggin Bear. But please, call me Lotso.
Dolly: Wow, cowboy. You just jump right in, don't you? I'm Dolly.
Woody: [shakes her hand] Woody.
Dolly: Woody? You're gonna stick with that? Well, now's the time to change it, you know, new room and all. That's coming from a doll named Dolly.
Andy: Molly! Stay out of my room!
Molly: I wasn't in your room!
Andy: Then who was messing with my stuff?
Mr. Potato Head: Remember all that bad stuff I said about Andy's attic? I take it all back.
Slinky Dog: Ya darn-tootin'
Hamm the Piggy Bank: You said it!
[Buzz, in Spanish mode, sees Jessie for the first time]
Spanish Buzz: ¡Ven conmigo! ¡Te mostraré las maravillas de la galaxia, y juntos lucharemos contra el despiadado Zurg!
[Come with me! I will show you the wonders of the galaxy, and together we will fight the evil Zurg!]
Jessie: [Buzz plucks a dandelion and offers it to her. Woody pushes through the bushes and Jessie runs to him and hugs him] Woody! Thank goodness!
Woody: C'mon! We're almost there!
[the rest of the toys leave, Buzz, stunned and angry, throws down his dandelion]
Spanish Buzz: ¡El Vaquero!
Woody: Hey, if any of you get to Sunnyside Daycare, you tell 'em Woody made it home.
Dolly: You came from Sunnyside?
Trixie: But how'd you escape?
Woody: Well, it wasn't easy. I... What do you mean "escape"?
Mr. Pricklepants: Sunnyside is a place of ruin and despair, ruled by an evil bear who smells of strawberries.
Woody: Wh...? Lotso?
Buttercup: The guy may seem plush and huggable on the outside, but inside, he's a monster!
Woody: But, how'd you know that?
Mr. Pricklepants: Chuckles... he'll tell you.
Ken: Barbie, come with me! Live in my Dream House! I know it's crazy! I know we've just met! Aw, heck - you don't know me from GI Joe. But when I look at you I feel like we were...
[Jessie and Mrs. Potato Head encourage Barbie to accept his offer]
Ken: No one appreciates clothes here, Barbie! No one.
[Chuckles is telling Woody about Lotso]
Chuckles: Yeah, I knew Lotso. He was a good toy. A friend. Me and him, we had the same kid: Daisy. I was there when Lotso got unwrapped. Daisy loved us all. But Lotso... Lotso was special. They did everything together. Never seen a kid and toy more in love. One day we took a drive, hit a rest stop, had a little playtime. After lunch, Daisy fell asleep. She never came back. Lotso wouldn't give up. It took forever, but we finally made it back to Daisy's. But by then, it was too late. Something changed that day inside Lotso. Something snapped.
[Chuckles is finishing his story about Lotso to Woody]
Chuckles: We were lost, cast-off, unloved, unwanted. Then we found Sunnyside. But Lotso wasn't my friend anymore. He wasn't anyone's friend. He took over Sunnyside and rigged the whole system.
Woody: So, how'd you get out?
Chuckles: I got broke. Bonnie found me, took me home. Other toys... they weren't so lucky. It ain't right what Lotso done. New toys... they don't stand a chance.
Woody: You wait. Andy's gonna tuck us in the attic. It'll be safe and warm...
Buzz Lightyear: And we'll all be together.
Woody: Exactly! There's games up there and books and...
Buzz Lightyear: The race car track!
Woody: The race car track. Thank you!
Slinky Dog: And the old TV.
Woody: There you go, the old TV. And those guys from the Christmas decorations box. They're fun, right?
Lotso: I didn't throw you away. Your kid did. Ain't one kid ever loved a toy, really. Chew on that when you're at the dump.
Woody: Wait. What about Daisy?
Lotso: I don't know what you're talking about.
Woody: Daisy? You used to do everything with her?
Lotso: Yeah, then she threw us out.
Woody: No, she lost you.
Lotso: She *replaced* us!
Woody: She replaced *you*, and if you couldn't have her, then no one could! You lied to Big Baby and you've been lying ever since!
[Woody pulls out Daisy's tag attracting Big Baby's attention]
Lotso: Where'd you get that?
Woody: She loved you, Lotso.
Lotso: She never *loved* me!
Woody: As much as any kid ever loved a toy.
[Woody tosses the tag to the other side of the open dumpster. Big Baby picks it up and looks at it]
Big Baby: Mama.
[Lotso snatches the tag away]
Lotso: What? You want your mommy back? She never loved *you*! Don't be such a BABY!
[Lotso smashes the tag with his mallet]
Lotso: Push 'em in! All of them!
[Stretch starts shoving the Toys in the dumpster, then Lotso addresses his cronies]
Lotso: This is what happens when you dummies try to think! WE'RE ALL JUST TRASH WAITIN' TO BE THROWN AWAY! THAT'S ALL A TOY IS!
[Suddenly, Big Baby lifts Lotso into the air, making him drop his mallet]
Lotso: Hey, stop it! Put me down, you idiot!
[Big Baby throws Lotso in the dumpster]
Lotso: AAAAH! No! No, wait a minute, Big Baby! Wait!