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Title: The Last Kiss (2006)
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| Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
| Zach Braff | ... | ||
| Jacinda Barrett | ... | ||
| Casey Affleck | ... | ||
| Rachel Bilson | ... | ||
| Michael Weston | ... |
Izzy
|
|
| Eric Christian Olsen | ... | ||
| Marley Shelton | ... | ||
| Lauren Lee Smith | ... |
Lisa
|
|
| Harold Ramis | ... |
Professor Bowler
|
|
| Blythe Danner | ... | ||
| Tom Wilkinson | ... | ||
| David Haydn-Jones | ... |
Mark
(as David Haydyn-Jones)
|
|
| Cindy Sampson | ... |
Danielle
|
|
 |
Lisa Hochstein | ... |
Stripper #1
(as Lisa Mackay)
|
|
|
Patricia Stasiak | ... |
Stripper #2
|
Michael and Jenna, having been a couple for three years, want to get married and start a family. These plans seem to be well on their way when Jenna announces that she's pregnant. But Michael is worried that his life and his youth will be over for good. At a wedding of a friend, he meets a free-spirited college co-ed, Kim, who opens his eyes and leads him on a dangerous path away from Jenna. Meanwhile, none of the relationships of the people surrounding Michael and Jenna are happy and stable. Michael's friend Izzy is unwilling to let go of his childhood sweetheart Arianna; Kenny is a handsome stud who fears commitment to his latest conquest Danielle; and Chris is a co-worker who is dominated by his neurotic and overbearing wife over raising their newborn son. Even Jenna's parents, Stephen and Anna, are experiencing problems in their long-suffering marriage. Written by EdFlesch
Ew.
"The Last Kiss" thinks it is "The Graduate," an up-to-the minute, profound, truth-telling film about love and life.
What it is is stupid, ugly, patronizing drek.
Its "band of brothers," a group of guys who watch each other's backs, is as phony as a three dollar bill.
One, a slacker who lives for anonymous flings, is much better looking than that type of guy is in real life -- he has the body of a 'roid-injecting, carb-shunning, gay stripper.
One is meant to be the endearing guy who can't move on from his last relationship; in fact he is a creepy stalker who could, without any change to hair, makeup, or whiney voice, star in his own "Friday the 13" style horror films.
The "decent one" in the clique dumps his wife just after she has given birth to their son. Counseling? Therapy? He doesn't bother. He just dumps her. And, remember, he's the decent one.
In any case, not a single character in this movie makes any sense at all. Blythe Danner leaves her husband for no reason, and then reunites with him for no reason.
Rachel Bilson is supposed to be a teenager -- ! -- who "falls in love with" Zach Braff, who is supposed to be much older. Bilson is no teenager and she can't pass for one. She and Zach Braff are not that much different in age. Bilson's personal total lack of charisma is made even creepier by her trying to pass as a teenager and a younger woman.
I could go on pointing to the utterly illogical garbage that passes for plot in this mess, but suffice it to say that every ten minutes or so, like clock work, the movie shows you some woman naked.
Okay, you're thinking, maybe I should see this movie. If you are thinking that, then this movie was made exactly for you -- someone who will believe garbage dialogue is profound, lousy acting is profound, and a pointless plot is profound, as long as every ten minutes, like clockwork, you get to look at a naked woman.
Here's a thought -- why not just stay at home and surf the internet? This movie is so bad that sitting at home pathetically taking in internet porn is a veritable feast for the soul in comparison.